Not my day!

[opendoor]

Who knows this situation: You show up at the milonga, and as you watch the ronda, you're overcome by a feeling of strangeness, distance, alienation, and almost disgust. That's what happened to me, right now. I didn't put on my dancing shoes, but turned on my heel and went back home.

 

[Reuven Thetanguero]

It didn't happen to me to that extent, but sometimes I don't feel the spirit and enthusiasm to get going. In my case, the solution? I put my dancing shoes, walk around a bit, pick up a follower I like to dance with, and after a Tanda or two I forget how I felt when I came to the Milonga.
Sometimes when you don't feel in the right spirit it's good to take one small step at the time. It may lead you to bounce back!

 

[JournalInTime]

I've experienced it. Never disgust, but often alienation . . . a sense that I do not belong. Sometime also or instead, just a lack of inspiration: The music does not suit me, there is nobody there I want to dance with, something about the environment puts me off, etc. Sometimes combinations of these things.

However, I always do what Reuven said: Lace up, find at least one person to dance with, and test the water. Most of the time, the desire to leave melts away.

Also, at some events here, you can't even see the floor until you've paid and walked through the cloakroom or coat check. The dancefloor is in another room, or at least off at right angles behind a visual barrier, with the person at the door not letting you past them to see until you've paid. And certainly, nobody here gives you a refund if you come in, don't like what you see, and walk out. So, not being rich, once I've paid, I stay.

 

[Rabbit]

Happens to everyone who has been dancing a few years. I think it's because milongas can be very random and you don't know what you are going to get. TBH the randomness probably contributes to the addictive nature.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

I've experienced it. Never disgust, but often alienation . . . a sense that I do not belong. Sometime also or instead, just a lack of inspiration: The music does not suit me, there is nobody there I want to dance with, something about the environment puts me off, etc. Sometimes combinations of these things.

I know the feeling. I've been to milongas where I mostly sit and listen and watch the room. Cliquey milongas can be harsh in that respect.

 

[Gaiatango]

I've experienced it. Never disgust, but often alienation . . . a sense that I do not belong. Sometime also or instead, just a lack of inspiration: The music does not suit me, there is nobody there I want to dance with, something about the environment puts me off, etc. Sometimes combinations of these things.

However, I always do what Reuven said: Lace up, find at least one person to dance with, and test the water. Most of the time, the desire to leave melts away.

Also, at some events here, you can't even see the floor until you've paid and walked through the cloakroom or coat check. The dancefloor is in another room, or at least off at right angles behind a visual barrier, with the person at the door not letting you past them to see until you've paid. And certainly, nobody here gives you a refund if you come in, don't like what you see, and walk out. So, not being rich, once I've paid, I stay.

I have experienced this, self-doubt, general weirdness, no one I know, blah blah blah. And recognize sometimes it is just tiredness .. so put on my shoes and wait awhile. Find the best dancers and watch them, I've learned so much.. Then after a while I get a cabeco and once on the dance floor all that agnst, self-doubt, sense of not belonging... simply disappears! However the music must move me!

 

[JournalInTime]

However the music must move me!

This is essential. Most often, when I feel "meh," it's due to the music. A certain kind of DJ seems to think that most dancers want a mix of low-energy instrumentals, plodding military beats from before the Golden Age, and weird Tanturi. Some have taken to skipping vals and milonga tandas. If I don't get at least one tanda of vals and one of milonga, and something high-energy like D'Arienzo or syncopated like Biagi in the first hour, I'm not likely to stay for the second hour.

 

[opendoor]

..Most often, when I feel "meh," it's due to the music. A certain ..mix of low-energy instrumentals, plodding military beats from before the Golden Age, and weird Tanturi..

What demotivates me (as a dancer) most is the medium energy level, meaning most of OTV and d'Agostino's music. If I have to listen to this monotonous music for an extended period, I get depressed.
With my own DJ sets, I get the most positive feedback with the following scheme:
3V-3T(s)-3T(c)-3M.
Where (s) stands for romantic tango de salón and (c) for rhythmic or fast tango del club. The regular female dancers have gradually convinced me to play tandas of three pieces. Variety of styles and a faster turnover lift the overall mood, JournalInTime. Naturally, not everyone likes that. I'm sure you don't either?

...If I don't get at least one tanda of vals and one of milonga, and ..D'Arienzo or ...Biagi in the first hour, I'm not likely to stay for the second hour.

For me it's the other way around; as a dancer, I can't last an hour without at least one tanda of late di Sarli or Pugliese.

 

[JournalInTime]

What demotivates me (as a dancer) most is the medium energy level, meaning most of OTV and d'Agostino's music.

Agreed. Both of those orquestas have their moments, but they always finish on the bottom third of my list.

The regular female dancers have gradually convinced me to play tandas of three pieces.

Very understandable . . . I need one "getting to know you" piece, a second piece as a solid test of how well I actually got to know my partner, and a final "All right, now let's really dance!" piece. A fourth piece like the third is a nice luxury, but it isn't worth people having to sit for even longer and feel even more left out.

JournalInTime. Naturally, not everyone likes that. I'm sure you don't either?

I think we'd get along fine if I were dancing where you're the DJ! I'm opinionated and wordy here, but in the end it sounds like we could find common ground where the activity is dancing rather than writing.

I can't last an hour without at least one tanda of late di Sarli or Pugliese.

It depends on the hour for me.

Pugliese is squarely "later in the milonga" music for me. DJs who spring the best Pugliese early on, before everybody has warmed up and while the floor is still crowded, annoy me. I prefer to dance Pugliese after I've had a couple of hours to warm up and find my body's limits for the evening, and after the early birds have fled and I have twice as much floor for a proper walk.

Di Sarli is something I like after too much energy, particularly after D'Arienzo tangos, or after a swift vals tanda or a milonga tanda (that isn't also Di Sarli . . . I don't do back-to-back orquestas). So, while that isn't a strict function of hour, in practice it usually means that 3-6 tandas have already played and we're now a certain distance into the evening.

My great sadness is the extent to which so many DJs crap on my favorite music. I like Salamanca, Varela, and early Piazzolla, but a lot of DJs regard that music as "not really for dancing." I prefer D'Arienzo later in his career, but so many DJs refuse to leave the Golden Age and instead play the tinky-dinky stuff from early in his career. I love Biagi, but DJs have told me that most dancers don't, so they're reluctant to play it. I guess I can understand their biases, but it ticks me off when instead I get obscure orquestas from the 1920s and early 1930s, and 4 or 5 tandas of Tanturi, whom I believe is both overrated and overplayed.

 

[TTanguero]

Di Sarli is something I like after too much energy

One of the best evenings musically kicked off with a Di Sarli tanda. I was ready and waiting with my shoes on, and there was a sudden flurry of others rushing to fasten theirs and get onto the dance floor, so this seemed a very popular move.

 

[Rabbit]

Most DJs don't play enough di Sarli and Pugliese. There is no reason why you can't, for example, play one Pugliese tanda in the middle and a second contrasting one near the end.

 

[Rabbit]

For example: I just played a set where the traditional tango count ended up like this:

di Sarli x2
Pugliese x2
d'Arienzo x2
Troilo x1
Calo x1
Biagi x1 (this was the tanda where people were slowest to enter the ronda, which confirmed that a lower proportion of staccato music was correct on this occasion)
d'Agostino x1
de Angelis x1
Canaro x1
Tanturi x1

General reaction was that the music was beautiful and no one complained about the orchestras that were skipped...

 

[Tangogal]

The last few tango events I went to I just felt “off”. I wanted to dance I went there expecting to dance and there were leaders I like to dance with. Externally people told me I was “looking well”, “dancing beautifully” etc etc but I just felt something wasn’t right. I couldn’t quiet my mind and was distracted by every external stimulus. My shoes felt too high so I changed to a lower pair. My blouse irritated my skin so I quickly cut the tags off. The music was uninspiring so I walked to the bar for a bit.

Sometimes we just go through weird phases. They pass.

 

[JournalInTime]

Externally people told me I was “looking well”, “dancing beautifully” etc etc but I just felt something wasn’t right.

This is exactly it. I've had evenings where nothing felt like it worked and I had the sense that I managed to connect with no one. Meanwhile, people were telling me that I was dancing well and they loved the connection. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Rabbit]

If I have off days it generally also comes in the form of mistakes that other people don't notice, ie musicality timing errors or ambiguous leads which the followers might apologize for not following. (I always claim responsibility for those)

I think I'm mostly very consistent in terms of personal performance though, the flip side is I'm particularly sensitive to the music and atmosphere