TTanguero
Forum Master
It's one of the biggest mysteries of tango that we can feel like nothing is working and yet nothing feels different to our partners.
Not my day!
- Thread starter opendoor
- Start date
It's not unique to tango! In another realm of dance I've apparently had my best dances after a hard, tiring, day at work, and after work when I've been distracted by work issues and technical problems requiring my solutions. I've felt terrible dancing and that nothing went well - yet I get told it was good, an improvement, better than usual... Over time I've put it down to: don't think; just do. The (survival) training kicks in - provided you have something on which to fall back. It also helps, sometimes, with those technical issues and a eureka moment as the brain appears to do background processing. Yes, leaders can multi-task as well as followers - but it can still be a bad day.
Tango Newbie
Well-Known Member
As a "newbie" (<5 years) I can't say I've actually had a time where it was "not my day" where things weren't clicking. My SO and I are always up for any one of the milongas here in our community, so we're going in with a positive attitude, full of optimism.
Since I'm not as versed in the music as most are, I'm not critical since the DJ's in our community do a good job.
We don't have those problems of alienation, or any strangeness. What we do actually deal with are exactly the opposite; dancers we know and are friendly with who want a dance with either of us.
That said, I struggle alternating tandas with my SO and those with other followers, and have a sense of guilt if I miss a few floowers who I like, but couldn't squeeze them all in.
Since I'm not as versed in the music as most are, I'm not critical since the DJ's in our community do a good job.
We don't have those problems of alienation, or any strangeness. What we do actually deal with are exactly the opposite; dancers we know and are friendly with who want a dance with either of us.
That said, I struggle alternating tandas with my SO and those with other followers, and have a sense of guilt if I miss a few floowers who I like, but couldn't squeeze them all in.
I hope I am not crossing rules, but it reminds me a joke. Sorry for bad translation. Long time married couple had evening sex and next mornig lady is telling to her close frieds: ooh, after long time we had so beautiful time last night. We started with long foreplay, then we tried almost every position, I had several orgasms and finally we spend one hour talking together. His story: guys, yesterday evening sex was nightmare. First hour I had issue with erection, then I was not able to finish myself in any position. Finally I was so exhausted, that I was not able to fall asleep and I has to listen my wife for next hour... conclusion is clear. If you suffer, oposite site can enjoy it. A vice versa!
TTanguero
Forum Master
Yes, I think there's a lot to that. I always feel a bit rusty if I haven't danced for a month or so, and yet sometimes that seems to have done me good, quite possibly for that reason.
ArbeeNYC
Forum Master
And yet after Covid, you came back strong. Even after a long absence, I think most people who had been dancing for a while, came back strong after some very brief initial hesitation. At first it felt a bit strange, but that sensation didn't last long.
itwillhappen
Forum Master
If you incorporate variety (around 50%?) through alternative music, it won't be noticeable at all if you limit yourself significantly at traditional orchestras. But personally, I also rarely play Rodríguez, Lomuto, Demare, OTV, Malerba, or even Tanturi.
My analysis of my last set (but absolutely not a "bad day"):
Caló 2x
Di Sarli 2x
Troilo 2x
D'Arienzo 2x
F. Canaro 2x
R. Canaro
Racciatti
Donato
García
De Caro
Fresedo
Pugliese
Biagi
D'Agostino
De Angelis
Pontier
Domingo
Misteriosa
Manzi
ArbeeNYC
Forum Master
No Demarre!!! No Tanturi and they'll run you out of Buenos Aires! (And he's not even a favorite of mine.) I could live without Pontier and De Caro though.
that was a long milonga wasn't it?
Tanturi has a few good songs which lose effectiveness from being overplayed, Demare and OTV mostly suffer from bad quality transfers, Rodriguez was good at vals/foxtrot but sucked at tango, and I don't have anything positive to say whatsoever about Malerba.
opendoor
Forum Master
I collect Demare. Its very hard to find and expensiv. Its music for aficionados and actually sought after.
itwillhappen
Forum Master
As a DJ, I only play music that I enjoy listening to in my free time, like when I'm driving.
And personally, I don't like the style of Demare's Schlager music, and Tanturi/Castillo in particular sounds awful to my ears.
The feedback from the dancers is quite good, when I prefer listening to something like this:
ArbeeNYC
Forum Master
Harder to find than music by Troilo or Caló, for example? Are you talking about digital versions of the music or LPs?
opendoor
Forum Master
Neither, only shellacs.
TangoYfutbol
Member
I used to have this feeling often. And strangely, those moments of distance and alienation became some of my deepest teachers. When I would stand at the edge of the ronda and feel the world becoming foreign—when uncertainty hollowed out the familiar space of the milonga—I later realized that something in me was quietly being rearranged.
It was difficult, sometimes even painful, but those experiences stretched my understanding of myself and of tango. Alienation has a way of revealing what usually remains hidden: the fragility of belonging, the tension between self and community, and the subtle thresholds between intimacy and estrangement. Each time, even if I didn’t dance a single tanda, I walked away changed—expanded in a way I couldn’t fully articulate, but unmistakably transformed.