So I realize there is not one truly "right" way, but am trying to figure out how to be more comfortable myself while dancing and how best to adjust to different leaders.
Congratulations. You are already miles ahead of many tango dancers who insist there is only one correct way to tango.
It will take time, but I suggest that as a follower, you become at least somewhat proficient in as many styles as you can (or at least the major ones you see being danced where you go). That way, you will spend more time dancing and less time sitting.
Leaders can pick their favorite style and stick to it. But in my experience, unless you are MASTER of following a specific style (and therefore very sought out for that) you will need to be able to follow many different types of leaders to get many dances. You will also become a better follower by following many different leaders, and not just dancing with people you know from a class.
You don't want the word about you to be "Oh, she only dances x". If you are going to only dance x, then they better be saying "She is an incredible partner at x". (And really, anyone who is a
master at one style probably has some level of capability in others, and follows so well that she can follow anything)
Yes, its confusing, all these different styles. And its made worse by rigid thinkers who insist their way is the only correct way. Sifting out what is merely preference from what is truly wrong isn't easy. But its worth the effort in the long run (not that I know about the 'long run' yet. I'm still learning too)