obsessed

O

obsessed

New Member
Hi there,

I'm 24 and I'm obsessed with salsa dancing. I started a little less than a year ago, and I've spent about 10 thousand dollars on lessons, club cover charges and paraphanalia. I got fired from a prestigious job in early july (mostly because all my energies were being devoted to salsa), and all I've been doing since then is dancing. Soon I'm going to have to move back in with my parents since I've burned through all my savings.

I'm scared of this! I used to have all sorts of goals! But now I only care about this dance. Also, even relations with women seem less important - a night of good salsa dancing is way better than sex.

Maybe this is the wrong place to ask (maybe you're all addicts as well!), but does anyone have any advice for me?
 
Get professional help. You're getting too obessive, but it's your behaviour not salsa.
I think most people here, or at least I speak of myself, having relatively balanced lives and hooked on dancing. It's not good if it's making your life unbalanced.
 
Why not make dancing your life? YOu can make money out of it, I know I am...

Go join a group, start teaching... :)

I know obssession is not supposed to be healthy, but why ruin your life thinking about dancing while you do a boring job that you loathe?
 
Hey, nothing wrong with that. I think you are actually progerssing quite nicely. But, soon you'll notice that you are going to have to balance your life. While salsa can take-over your life, there is no reason to deny the rest of your life because of an unbalance of Salsa and the rest of it.

Perhaps when you are more skilled you can do as squirrel mentioned and become an instructor so you can O.D. on salsa and not have your choices negatively impact your life.
 
obsessed said:
Hi there,

I'm 24 and I'm obsessed with salsa dancing. I started a little less than a year ago, and I've spent about 10 thousand dollars on lessons, club cover charges and paraphanalia. I got fired from a prestigious job in early july (mostly because all my energies were being devoted to salsa), and all I've been doing since then is dancing. Soon I'm going to have to move back in with my parents since I've burned through all my savings.

I'm scared of this! I used to have all sorts of goals! But now I only care about this dance. Also, even relations with women seem less important - a night of good salsa dancing is way better than sex.

Maybe this is the wrong place to ask (maybe you're all addicts as well!), but does anyone have any advice for me?
Click to expand...
I definitely would advise talking to a professional about your obsession-especially if you're spending all of your resources (time and money) on this one thing. However, I have to wonder whether you liked your job in the first place. Perhaps salsa was a wakeup call--and now you can find a job that you really enjoy.
 
Why not take a 'career break'. This does not mean not working and spongeing off your parents though... Try taking a low-payed job with flexible working hours for a while. Keep your life self-sustainable. Dance all night and live for the dance for a while. You may decide after a year or so to re-commit yourself to your career and keep Salsa as a hobby. A lot of professional dancers/teachers also have a day job.
 
When you spent all your savings, lost your career + social contacts and you realize, that you have a problem....then you have a problem.
Go and see a doctor.
Good luck.
 
Josh said:
Yes, just be sure that you invite him/her out dancing while you're there. A good obsessed salser@ always seeks to convert others. :twisted:
Click to expand...

:D I'm so awful....I'm always trying to get get random guys to go salsa dancing (in the selfish hope of widening my pool of partners)
 
I'm not nearly as far gone as the original poster (I'm still just about holding down a job and a relationship with a non-dancer) but I can understand how this can happen.
You're 24 so I reckon you can afford to take a year out of your life to fuel your obsession. If it doesn't work out, you'll be where you are now, but an awesome dancer!!
Ten years ago I was single, in a part time job but with quite a lot of disposable income - I went to bars and nightclubs and wasted my cash on alcohol. If I'd discovered salsa then, who knows, I might be doing something I love for a living, rather than shuffling paper, replying to dull emails and going to conferences about 'Industry Complaint Procedures' and 'The Impact of ISOs on Your Business' [YAWN]
If it's only your life you are affecting (no children, no long term relationship, no massive debts) and you are as crazed about salsa as your post suggests I say try and live the dream.
 
I came very close to doing something like the OP. I continued spending money on salsa that I didn't have, because I didn't want to take time off from private lessons. I didn't screw up on job etc, or mess up personal relationships too much (I daresay I did mess 'em up a little though).

And if I stop spending as much on salsa now (I've been able to cut back on some aspects of it already, for eg, the frequency of privates because I don't need them as much as I used to), I would be in a significantly better financial shape within a year. But I can't bring myself to do that.

I signed up for therapy for a different reason a few weeks ago (a problem that was also exacerbated by my obsession with salsa, but certainly not created by it). I intend to bring this up in one of sessions and try to understand the fine line that divides passion from obsession :)

To the OP - go talk to a psychologist. Go to one with the intention of understading yourself better, and not with the intention of 'fixing' a wrong. Once you know why you are acting the way you are, you'll have more data to make choices. You need to understand if your current behavior is fuelled by your knowledge that you are really good at salsa and you desire to be quickly become the best, or if this is a way of escaping from the reality of your life that perhaps sucks...
 
Got this from an artice on salsa web a few years back.
I can't find it there now so I'll cut and paste it...
salsaholicsku0.gif


Is Salsa worse than cocaine?

Why do I hear so many people site the similarities between the two? "Salsa is my drug". "I needed my Salsa fix for the week". "I can't get enough of it". "I almost lost my job". "I can't stop". "I've never spent so much money on dance outfits and shoes in my life". "My friends and family don't understand". "Everyone thinks I've lost it". "I can't convince any of my friends to come!"

What IS IT about THIS MUSIC?

Yes, my friends, there is definitely a trend going on here, and I've decided to document it. Just what is it about the rhythm of Salsa that gets under one's skin, and becomes part of our body, mind, and soul? Why does it sizzle in our veins when we hear it? Is it the pulse? Is it the congos? Is it the passion? It can't be the lyrics, because some of us don't understand Spanish...

...and it STILL INFECTS US.

The feeling that the sound of Salsa brings is something deeper, more like something ancient, a distant past that is remembered, but never before experienced - until the music is heard. The rhythm pulls out something inside of us that cannot be described. The music itself is magical, and sweeps you away into a hypnotic state of mind - not unlike that of a deep sleep or incredible high...

I can admit, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't drink. I just Salsa, which to me, is probably a bigger addiction than all three combined!
 
Devane... 100% true!

If I could, I would breathe Salsa!

I know many people don't understand how someone can be so addicted, but they have not yet found the THING to get them hooked.

I know of people who have a strong addiction to internet, games, bridge etc.

It is not sane, it might not be healthy (if it's drugs or alcohol or ciggies) but YOU CANNOT STOP!

And the day job is oh so boring!

What if some of us don't want "out" of the addiction? What if we like it? What if it makes us feel alive? And all else is dull?
 
I don't know if you need therapy or not. But you do need a job. You have to fund your dancing. Move in with your parents if you must, but try to balance everything. If money grew on trees, we'd all be happy dancers. But it doesn't. So we have to work to pay for socials, lessons, congresses, shoes and clothes. If you work as a dancer, it's much better, but you still have to work.
Try to get your life more organised. That way you'll have more salsa. :D

T_E
 
Just simply take a day a week to begin with and cut back a little at a time.There will always be ANOTHER SALSA EVENT the next night or the next..., and there will always be folks with whom to dance. Believe me, you are not missing anything by cutting back and focusing a bit of time on other things in your life.

I often look at the really addicted salsa peeps on my scene and wonder how they maintain relationships in their lives away from the dance floor since it seems they are at every event available every night of the week. I feel sorry for them as they are limiting their lives in many ways. I suppose if they are not bothered by the limitations, I should not be bothered for them. It's their business, but it sounds like you are not happy with some of the negative effects of your addiction. Take action now before the dance you love now becomes something you hate but cannot seem to leave.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top