Ochos Apilado
- Thread starter AndaBien
- Start date
I suspect I'm not that far away from you. This has to do with why I'll normally wait to hear the song before asking someone to dance. For me (but maybe not everyone), some songs with make me want to go for the connection, in which case I'll prefer someone with a good embrace (and who normally won't open it).No ceremonyplease
Not "out of sync" with my dp. But the apotheosis of the close embrace expressed by the foregoing posters, makes me wonder, why does it not have that importance for me, as it has for the majority here. I mean, if the music drives me to do some stuff I cannot do in close hold, I would break it, without question, only to express myself to the music. That is what I meant with "perhaps I dance alone at times". For me the music comes first. F.i. yesterday night: lets say about one quarter courtesy-n-obligatory dances (former dps, newcomers, friends, organizers), one quarter harmony dances in high connection and accordance with the dp and the music, one quarter lost and needless dances (nothing worked for what reason ever), and one quarter egoistic dances, I could have also danced alone (if no one would be around).
Other songs, will make me want to do other things, so I'll seek out a partner that likes doing figures and quicker steps (like my wife). It's funny, but I've never had as good of a tango connection feeling with my wife as I've had with dozens of other followers. But with something more lively (like D'Arienzo for example), (or most vals & milongas) she's one of my favorites (as she enjoys fast turns & colgadas).
Not every post on there is like that, although I'll admit that the "moderation" (if you can call it that), is very inconsistent.
I've occasionally posted there and I don't consider myself to be a viper (maybe more of a counter puncher).
Maybe it's the height difference?
It's a factor, but I have had better "connection" with a few people who are shorter than her.
OK, this is what I was actually thinking, but I thought I'd go with the totally not personal option first...
My experience is that it's hard to focus exclusively on the connection and the dance with my life partner. There is always so much going on in the relationship, good or bad. There are difference expectations (some of which may be subconscious)
When you dance with someone with whom you have a relationship that is ONLY about occasionally dancing tango, there's not all that other stuff going on. It's about tango. It's ONLY about tango. The ONLY think you are asking of the person is a good connection and tanda for 10 minutes or so. There's no serious fallout if it doesn't happen. You can even discuss the issues you might have had dancing with that person with other people (I don't know about you, but I never discuss problems my partner and I have in our dancing with other people in the local tango community, especially if I think they are HIS fault!)
So it actually doesn't surprise me at all that you have a better connection with people other than your wife. I think the dance partnerships that survive as life partnerships (and vice versa) long term are rare. I was having a conversatino with someone else here recently about this and he told me that he and his wife usually end up in an argument when they dance together. They each have separate regular practice partners.
Well, that may not have much to do with Tango. I argue with the wife about lots of stuff besides tango.
:argue:
Angel HI
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately, the case, but unnecessary.
My current partner of about 5 yrs and I have never argued about AT when dancing... and won't. (the reason is below)
This is very, very sad. One of the things that I try to instill in all of my students is 'if you are arguing, then you are not dancing. If you can argue, then you are not in the right place, mentally or emotionally, to be able to dance'. I have even stopped lessons, and sent couples home for it (b/c since they are not in the right space for learning, the lesson is worthless).