On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms...

[Twilight_Elena]

I've been having thoughts about dancing lately, and I thought I'd share.
As some of you might know, my end of high school exams are just a couple of months away. They will determine many, many things and are mighty difficult. SO for that reason I decided to quit dancing completely till June (end of exams).
Because of revisions, tests and so on, we (my best friend and partner and myself) have been attending classes (both our privates and our group-technique lessons) so often, but kept on cancelling them.
This has led in much loss in my technique. My footwork is less stable, I lose my balance, my moves are blurry instead of clear cut. For this reason, I have found myself enjoying my last (had to quit at some point) practice party more, as I danced almost every song, yet less.
Why? I found myself able to follow moves I haven't been able to follow two or three months ago, yet I stumbled over mere turns. I could do figure eights with my hips in rumba, but I couldn't do a stable basic step. My hands were doing small styling things I have never been taught but actually complete the move, and I find myself avoiding the hand technique at a crossover.
My thoughts on that? Returning to the basics. When I return to the dancefloors in June, I want to do as many lessons as possible on the most basic of things so that I can become again more stable, balanced and techniquely correct. I also want to stay away from the practice parties for the first one or two weeks of my intense welcome-back period. I agree, they have made me a faster, more easygoing partner. But I feel like they have been pulling me away from my technique, too.
Another issue I have been wanting to address is my sudden insecurity with men when dancing. I have become shy, almost afraid to be touched. This, combined with my fuzzy footwork, has produced unsatisfying dance results in my last party. It has also frustrated me to no end.
Thoughts on all this?

Twilight Elena

P.s. Hmm. Large post!

 

[pygmalion]

Wow. Lots of issues, there. Let me ponder first, then come back and post. :car:

One thing, though. I have to say I applaud your ability to decide between dance and your final exams. That must've been a tough decision. 8)

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Wow. Lots of issues, there. Let me ponder first, then come back and post. :car:

One thing, though. I have to say I applaud your ability to decide between dance and your final exams. That must've been a tough decision. 8)

It was tougher in theory than in practice, actuually. After two weeks of no dance, I already feel more focused to my studies and have kept dancing on hold successfully. If I do get a crisis, though, I'll let you all know.

Twilight Elena

 

[Sagitta]

Re: On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms.

Another issue I have been wanting to address is my sudden insecurity with men when dancing. I have become shy, almost afraid to be touched. This, combined with my fuzzy footwork, has produced unsatisfying dance results in my last party. It has also frustrated me to no end.
Thoughts on all this?

Twilight Elena

P.s. Hmm. Large post!

What do you think has caused that? Our recent talk about groping and cleavage on df? It helps if you have a person, or people whom you trust to dance with. A couple of my friends were very insecure. After dancing with me for a while they became a lot more confident. Of course they wouldn't and still don't let many others do what I can do with them but they are able to confidently handle situations when they become uncomfortable. (I showed them all that too.)

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Re: On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms.

Another issue I have been wanting to address is my sudden insecurity with men when dancing. I have become shy, almost afraid to be touched. This, combined with my fuzzy footwork, has produced unsatisfying dance results in my last party. It has also frustrated me to no end.
Thoughts on all this?

Twilight Elena

P.s. Hmm. Large post!

What do you think has caused that? Our recent talk about groping and cleavage on df? It helps if you have a person, or people whom you trust to dance with. A couple of my friends were very insecure. After dancing with me for a while they became a lot more confident. Of course they wouldn't and still don't let many others do what I can do with them but they are able to confidently handle situations when they become uncomfortable. (I showed them all that too.)

I didn't actually participate in that conversation, Sagitta, and when I read the thread, I actually found it amusing. No, I think I know what the problem might be - well, a mixture of things, actually:
It's part school stress that's making me overreact to certain feelings.
It's part this cool teacher that has been dancing with me for the past 3 parties. (He dips me real deep, throws styling and lots of sexy moves at me, and holds me in close, close body contact. It's cool and new and hey, it's an experience, right? But it might have made me sort of afraid.)
It's part my silly yet frustrating indeed crush-me?-never!-denial-is-in-Egypt sorta thing on my salsa teacher. While I do have it under control (he almost always takes me up to show us a new move and I don't even blink, imagine that), it starts poking my ribs when he asks me for a bachata or a rumba. In salsa, it doesn't affect me so much (it's fast tempo, no time to think!)
Ye gods. Which reminds me of that last disasterous, IMO, rumba with him. Footwork? Fuzzy. Feelings? Ditto. He put my left hand, which I usually place just behind the shoulder of the lead, on the front of his shoulder, which instantly made my arm relax and promptly led into a much closer and, well, romantic hold. :shock: :shock: Gone was the distance I usually put between myself and my partner. After that, I must say that I messed up many simple steps. I felt two times awful.
:? :? :? Shouldn't have brought that up. I feel godawful now.
It really saddens and annoys me and makes me mad at myself when I'm a bad follow with good leads. Leads I appreciate doubly so.

Twilight Elena

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Oh, and the only person I trust completely and makes me feel totally at ease is my ballroom teacher. She's only a year older than me, we're very friendly and cuddly together and I have a great time dancing with her, always.

Twilight Elena

 

[Twilight_Elena]

People must have thought this is a solved problem by my lasts posts. Erm. It's not. :? Help! Feedback!

Twilight Elena

 

[dTas]

i often find that taking a break from dancing is quite benneficial. true you will lose some of your polish and shine but you will also lose some of your bad habbits in the process. the body falls back on base elements of balance and rotation, things it is comfortable with, things it has accepted from before.

to use an old analogy... its like riding a bike.

when you first learn to ride a bike you're just developing the skills of balance. then you get better and better and more confident. if you take a break from cycling, and then return, the body takes a while to "re-adjust" to cycling again. but it doesn't forget the basics that i learned the first time around... namely balance.

this is a simple analogy, of course dancing has a lot more complexity in its movements.

 

[gte692h]

Re: On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms.

Thoughts on all this?

i can't address specific issues like body comfort, but all i can say is that this is a phase. you're doing what you have to, to get the exam results you want. so for now, the dancing will have to take a back seat..

i remember when i went to puerto rico in jan 2004 - i met this amazing salsa dancer - she was from serbia. we were talking, and she said she was just getting back into salsa after a break of five years. and i asked her, 'what happened ?' and she said, 'life happened.' i didn't ask for specifics, but i understood exactly what she meant. but she was happy basking in the sun by the day, and dancing late into the next morning.. she didn't look like she had missed a step.

sometimes life throws some things at you that must be taken care of. when the time is right, you'll go back whole-heartedly into your dancing, and you'll get better than ever. just like that girl from serbia...

 

[Chris Stratton]

Re: On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms.

He put my left hand, which I usually place just behind the shoulder of the lead, on the front of his shoulder, which instantly made my arm relax and promptly led into a much closer and, well, romantic hold. :shock: :shock: Gone was the distance I usually put between myself and my partner. After that, I must say that I messed up many simple steps. I felt two times awful.

I'd say that's closer to the right place for your hand in the standard and smooth dances (expect for tango) however it doesn't have to mean a particularly close hold. In fact, with your hand on the front of his upper arm, just below the shoulder, your thumb is positioned to push on his bicep if you decide you'd like a little more space.

Not everyone knows how to lead through their frame, but it's generally a good idea to do so - it makes the degree of closeness in the bodies a matter of personal and aesthetic choice rather than technical necessity. For me, a close hold with a purposefull frame feels good - you are both close together and creating space. But a hold equally close in the body without any frame to guide it feels way too intimate for dancing in public.

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Re: On practice parties, (lost) technique and other randoms.

Thoughts on all this?

i can't address specific issues like body comfort, but all i can say is that this is a phase. you're doing what you have to, to get the exam results you want. so for now, the dancing will have to take a back seat..

i remember when i went to puerto rico in jan 2004 - i met this amazing salsa dancer - she was from serbia. we were talking, and she said she was just getting back into salsa after a break of five years. and i asked her, 'what happened ?' and she said, 'life happened.' i didn't ask for specifics, but i understood exactly what she meant. but she was happy basking in the sun by the day, and dancing late into the next morning.. she didn't look like she had missed a step.

sometimes life throws some things at you that must be taken care of. when the time is right, you'll go back whole-heartedly into your dancing, and you'll get better than ever. just like that girl from serbia...

Well I'm taking a break from dancing anyway because of my exams in June, but I think I needed it anyway. It'll help to clear my head, do something other thaan dancing, think of something other than dancing. It helped last year.
Thanks, everyone, your feedback is precious to me.

Twilight Elena