Partnering Skills

D

Dr Dance

Forum Master
THAT is what I miss most during this time of pandemic. There are fine reasons not to be doing this now. But I shall defer to the "Returning to the dance studio safely (covid-19)" thread to discuss those reasons.

Many of us are exercising and practicing solo to help keep skills and sanity intact during this time of social distancing. There is a very funny post in another thread that refers to "the whole (picture) "changing" once another body is put in front of (me)."

For THIS thread, I want to discuss actual partnering skills. This includes, but is not exclusive to, "lead and follow." I want to encourage responses not only for ballroom, but for Latin (and rhythm) also.

My pro has referred to partnering skills as "a (nonverbal) conversation (between two dancers)." This nonverbal "talking" is a necessary communication to help facilitate great dancing. The greatest compliment I have ever received from her (after a correction) was. "(That time,) you 'allowed' me to do my part." I already knew that the second attempt was better because she resisted less. Socially with an amateur partner, the greatest compliment I got was. "I knew exactly what you wanted me to do." A great lead and a great follow are only PART of it. The bigger view would be "enabling" your partner.

Discuss.
 
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Wonderful topic, IMO. And a tough one to explore.

In my view, partnering skills are all about communication, just as you say. My thoughts on this draw significantly from my background as a linguist, since the whole point of language is to communicate.

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The central concept, in my view, is that communication always has two elements: the thing that is said by the speaker, and the thing that is understood by the listener. The most obvious example of this in dance is in the lead and follow. The leader needs to "speak" clearly, and the follower needs to "listen" closely. When this works well, everything is great.

What is much more interesting, though, both in language and dance, is what happens when there is a disconnect between speaker's intent and listener's understanding. How can you identify the mismatch? How do you correct and recover from the error? There is an entire field within linguistics that studies these messy mechanics: Pragmatics.

The analogue in dance would be how a couple recovers from a lead-and-follow mistake. How does the leader understand that their lead was missed? How do both parties recover from a major error (e.g., disagreement about partner position, disagreement on which is the standing leg, disagreement on movement direction)?

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My take on this question is that all dancer, regardless of role, need to develop both their "speaking" and "listening" skills.

A leader cannot simply dictate and execute; they must listen to the follower's response, and potentially adjust the subsequent movement if there was an error. The follower, for their part, must not be simply a passive recipient of information; they must project energy and information back to the leader as a form of feedback.

I mostly dance lead, so that's the paradigm I understand best. The "listening skills" I pay attention to include:
  • Knowing what foot my partner is standing on
  • Knowing my partner's current hip alignment
  • Differentiating forward-, backward-, and lateral-moving poise in my partner
  • Differentiating between pressure and tension in the connection
    (if I apply pressure when she's poised for tension or vice versa, she may stumble)
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Even then, improving my "listening" is only half the deal. I also need to figure out how to respond to what I "hear."

For example, if my partner isn't on the foot I expected, how can I execute (or ask her to execute) a foot change? If her movement poise is not what I expect, how can I adjust my poise to compensate or accommodate? If her hips are not aligned how I expect, how can I change my (or her) position?

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All of the above goes both ways. We are both constantly speaking, listening, and adjusting to one another in an endless feedback loop. The broad category of "partner skills"is a measure of how often we communicate successfully the first time, how quickly we identify errors, and how easily we compensate for them.

In partnerships of unequal skill, that responsibility might rest substantially or entirely with one party. In balanced partnerships, it should be shared by both.
 
Well said! Food for thought. I totally agree.

But "partnering skills" sometimes extend beyond lead and follow. This can involve the emotions as well.

Examples: If you and your partner have had "a row" and you both decide to practice anyway. Her connection may be "a little tighter." Her verbal responses may be a little terser. You may be exercising less patience. Of course, this is a ludicrous example because it's better to settle disputes aside from practice. But I wanted the example to be obvious.

Another example may be during social dancing. While executing a quickstep lock step, your partner passes over a "slick spot" and temporarily loses her footing. It all happens too fast to verbalize. But as leader, you feel her suddenly weigh you down with her frame. You compensate by supporting her until she recovers. If done skillfully, your dance needn't be interrupted.

Another example: You are social dancing a waltz. After you execute a spin turn, you are about to back into another couple. You don't see it. But your partner does! To alert you, she will signal... by squeezing your shoulder. Degree of squeezing directly correlates to the degree of danger.

Another example: When I exhibit, I often have this annoying habit of shaking during the dance. It's a nervous tic. My pro has teased me about this in the past, "It doesn't do a whole lot of good for my confidence when you tremble!" But she has learned to ignore it because it's involuntary. Yet my "message" was clear. It said, "I am nervous."
 
Dance chemistry.

There are people I have a great chemistry with when dancing. A man once said that I "dance like butter".
And then there was a dance teacher, where we couldn't even hug. Like we would approach each other, and I would try to move my arms, but it would be in the wrong space, like I go up and his was also trying to go up.
 
worddancer said:
Dance chemistry.

There are people I have a great chemistry with when dancing. A man once said that I "dance like butter".
And then there was a dance teacher, where we couldn't even hug. Like we would approach each other, and I would try to move my arms, but it would be in the wrong space, like I go up and his was also trying to go up.
Click to expand...
Thanks, Worddancer. I had to really THINK about your post for several days to completely get my mind around it.

YES! Dance chemistry IS a factor! BUT... is it PRO ACTIVE... Is it something that dancers can actively affect by adjusting their own behavior? Then dance chemistry does become one part of the partnering skills subsets. Or is dance chemistry reactionary? Is it merely part of our personalities that allows us to react differently to different dancers? I believe... the answer is BOTH! We CAN actively affect dance chemistry.

For your specific case, you illustrated two cases of dance chemistry, both good and bad. When you danced "like butter," you were no doubt "on your game!" You were relaxed and enjoying yourself. With dance teacher, perhaps you were thinking instead "how to do this 'right'." You may have been a bit self conscious and anxious. Your different mind sets contributed to two different results. This was reactionary. So perfectly human!

For an ACTIVE example, I cite an incident when my pro and I were showcasing. I began to tremble mid dance which threatened to compromise good results. She COULD have just verbally tried to calm me down with, "Just relax!" But she knew that wouldn't work with me! Instead, she reacted by deliberately and obviously taking a deep breath herself. (!) This did work with me on multiple fronts. (1) I became concerned about HER being nervous which helped to automatically calm me down and become more chivalrous. And (2) showed me a physical tool to relax. I then took a deliberate and deep breath myself to show her that "I got the message!" This COMMUNICATION bore wonderful results.

Of course for your case, "Dance Teacher" also contributed to bad dance chemistry with his actions. Forget about changing him!! What can YOU do to better your dance chemistry?
 
I think it's communication. Partnering is talking with your body.

Just like in real life, there are people you can talk well with, and there are people who fight all the time, or accidentally offend people.

In the hug example, it was a hug in which we both couldn't listen to each other. He saw my arms going up, and his arms still went up so we couldn't hug until one of us moved our arms. In this case, he probably expected my arms to go down, because generally women do that? But for some reason I feel either taller, more dominant, or something with him so I reached up.

The same communication issue happens when I follow him. We just couldn't talk.

Obviously with different people, I have different ability to follow, but in general, it's one of my strongest skills. I can follow International Rhumba even though I don't do International Rhumba if a lead is really good.

But because of that, I have preferences with leads. Some leads feel like a freight truck to me. Leads that other follows love. But to me they come so strong, I feel like I'm being "driven".

I like a medium, subtle lead.

Now it sounds like I'm talking about wine.
 
For your "hug" example, it sounds like you are talking about FIRST KISS!!


Like your previous post, so much to think about!
 
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Enjoying engaging in these different perspectives. Hopefully, others will join this "round table discussion" with you, me, and fiesta.
 
How much of a dancer’s partnering ability is driven by his or her basic personality? Is an assertive, decisive Follower (let’s call her Dominique or “Dom”) going to automatically be a poor partner (or have to work harder to be a good one), due to ingrained habits of being in charge, and thus have difficulty letting go of that tendency and letting her Leader choose the moves and direct the dancing?

Similarly, is a non-assertive, compliant Follower going to automatically be a better partner, due to her tendencies to obey, follow instructions, pick up on cues, and NOT want to be in charge?

Or does the opposite apply? Could Dom be a better partner after all, and if so, why?

Applying the same two generalized “types” to Leaders, will the assertive/decisive one be a better or worse partner than the mild-mannered gentler one? Why?

Or is a dancer’s personality and behavior outside the studio completely unrelated to their partnering skills inside the studio?
 
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