Potential dance partner is slightly taller than me
- Thread starter VronskyWasSoVain
- Start date
opendoor
Forum Master
After breaking up, I felt socially incompetent and totally inexperienced with the world of women. Somewhen I felt to mingle with the crowed. I had no money and therefore went to (independent) socials and dance parties. My mantra „learning to dance is social learning in the first place“ comes from that time. The „first dance steps“ happen away from the dance floor, I mean you have to integrate into a group, show interest, socialize, bake a cake, give and take advice: These actually are the first steps in dancing.
To enter the dance floor, to embrace a woman comes naturally and almost automatically by itself. When you are recognized it is easy to ask for a feed back. Actually I needed not asking for a feed back, everyone gave me advice, showed me steps, told me about posture, required muscles, sorts of embraces, perfumes, dancing rules, and the etiquette. I was invited for free to socials, was passed through to experienced women. The dance scene cares for free about its offspring. Do not trust anyone who takes your money. As said before, you are the cash cow of your instructors. Apparently you have money left over for people who do not tell the truth. Back to the social dance scene: One has to give back what you once got. I regularly djay at socials, teach a class for free, I dance with elderly women (as you put it).
Vronsky, dancing is not about steps. Dancing is culture, not sports. One has to get into the music first, learn about musicality, rhythms, styles. Everyone should be able to dance without any knwoledge of the basic steps. Only get into the atmosphere of the music, simply ask for the history, the musicians, the typical instruments, structure of a typical piece, what are the influential compositions, legendary dance halls, and so on. Steps are secondary, not to say detrimental at your stage (and speaking honestly, you still are a beginner, though you was told the opposite).
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If I'm not mistaken, based on your post, you live in north america, but not the US or Mexico. I'm pretty sure you also said not Canada.
That leaves quite a few countries, a large fraction of whom will be shorter than your 5'5". I'm 5'4". I haven't been back to El Salvador since the 70s, but when I was there, the women in my family and I were considered tall. That is not the case here in the US.
VronskyWasSoVain
Active Member
@lucia_l
I live in Canada. I also don't have any association with any Asian Women due to the fact that they primarily prefer white men when it comes to either dancing or dating. I've given up even socializing with any women for any purpose as a result.I'm not a racist. But I've learnt a long time ago that Asian women just don't like Asian men. Having an Asian dance partner is just not realistic for me.
I live in Canada. I also don't have any association with any Asian Women due to the fact that they primarily prefer white men when it comes to either dancing or dating. I've given up even socializing with any women for any purpose as a result.I'm not a racist. But I've learnt a long time ago that Asian women just don't like Asian men. Having an Asian dance partner is just not realistic for me.
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DanceMentor
Administrator
I spent about 3 or 4 years learning Chinese and I will tell you things changed dramatically. Haha. If you can just learn to speak about 20 words I guarantee you the response will be different.
And one shorter dancer that I really like is William Pino. He is about 5 ft 6 in
And one shorter dancer that I really like is William Pino. He is about 5 ft 6 in
opendoor
Forum Master
You don´t know what you miss, Vronsky. Think my instinct did not fool me. Better change your dance style. Convert to the dark side: in our community asian women are in favor of asian dancers. Our dance style stems from the 20s of last century. That is the reason why politics, race, money is neither here nor there. Feel at home in Berlin, NY, Seoul, Moscow, Melbourne... Resistance is futile.
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DanceMentor
Administrator
Here in LA we have large communities that are nearly entirely Chinese, Filipino, Vietnamese, etc. I find by and large that people marry (and dance) within their community, but there are plenty of exceptions too. I am one of them.
At first I felt strange teaching at a Chinese dance studio. The whole area surrounding it has Chinese signs, and English is spoken much less than Chinese. Then I learned how to say...
"Honey, come over here"
亲爱的，过来 (qīn aì de, gùo lái)
... and the response was awesome.
I was hooked. I learned other useful phrases, some comical, and just started studying Chinese everyday.
It still felt weird for a long while, but slowly I came to feel normal in situations where everyone except me was Chinese. Tonight, because I can't dance, I'm going to sing Karaoke with some Chinese friends. I am able to sing maybe 15 songs from memory (小城故事，甜蜜蜜，朋友，月亮代表我的心，我的快乐就是想你，等你那么久，等等...)
Anyways, I don't want to hijack your thread, but also wanted to give some details about my experience.
(Oh, and lastly I have repeated the same thing, but not as intensely in the Vietnamese community too, and know enough Vietnamese to freak out a few people)
If you want to learn Chinese or Vietnamese, there is no shortage of people that would help you for free. I regularly participate on HelloTalk.
At first I felt strange teaching at a Chinese dance studio. The whole area surrounding it has Chinese signs, and English is spoken much less than Chinese. Then I learned how to say...
"Honey, come over here"
亲爱的，过来 (qīn aì de, gùo lái)
... and the response was awesome.
I was hooked. I learned other useful phrases, some comical, and just started studying Chinese everyday.It still felt weird for a long while, but slowly I came to feel normal in situations where everyone except me was Chinese. Tonight, because I can't dance, I'm going to sing Karaoke with some Chinese friends. I am able to sing maybe 15 songs from memory (小城故事，甜蜜蜜，朋友，月亮代表我的心，我的快乐就是想你，等你那么久，等等...)
Anyways, I don't want to hijack your thread, but also wanted to give some details about my experience.
(Oh, and lastly I have repeated the same thing, but not as intensely in the Vietnamese community too, and know enough Vietnamese to freak out a few people)
If you want to learn Chinese or Vietnamese, there is no shortage of people that would help you for free. I regularly participate on HelloTalk.
Aside: It has been some time since I danced. My gut is telling me, "Here is a man who loves tango; I can see that clearly in his waltz" (I mean this as a comment on perceived aesthetic preference, *not* a judgment of skill). Am I alone in that?
DanceMentor
Administrator
I always thought that the two of them had a unique style that was their own, but I don't know that I would easily just say they like Tango more than the other dances. I didn't feel that myself. Obviously their Tango is awesome.
There a one of my favorites also to watch in a competition. Their floorcraft was extraordinary, and I can recall sometimes when they purposely ran into people, but not too hard, playing a sort of game. Sometimes the audience would start to follow them in their game as you knew they were going to touch the same couple they touched at least one more time in the song, and it would be as they were doing almost exactly the same part of the choreography. It was as if they knew exactly what the other couples choreography was going to be well before they got there.
And staying on topic, this can be one of the advantages a shorter couple can have. They can work around the other couples and get through sticky situations easier.
VronskyWasSoVain
Active Member
@DanceMentor
Not sure what all those posts about learning Asian languages had to do with me or what I said, but it's a cool hobby and good on you for embracing the challenges of learning them.
I have a pretty negative attitude when it comes to my heritage. I was born in Canada. I grew up here and this is my home. I didn't know any Asians growing up. It wasn't until college that I started making my first Asian friends and knowing that there's these whole Asian communities. I embrace people from all walks of life as long as they gel with me and we have similar interests. I may be Asian but that's only a small part of who I am. It doesn't define me. as it does for a lot of people who grew up in Asian communities and feel that they've got this label on their forehead wherever they go. I'm very western-minded and highly individualistic.That being said, the same doesn't seem to apply in the dating world. Asian women in particular are prime pickings for men of all races, particularly white men. Nothing wrong with this. Attraction is attraction. But I've met some particularly snotty Asian women who look down on Asian men and exclusively date white men. There's nothing wrong with dating people from any race. I've dated white, middle-eastern/arab, latina and Asian. The most negative experiences have been with Asian women, particularly this racial snobbery. Part of this is the fault of Asian men themselves who only go for Asian women because they think that's the only type of women who would go out with them. I can't tell you how many Asian men I've encountered who have said to me, "Oh look at that white girl. She's so pretty. Oh but she's white. She'd never be interested in an Asian guy like me." And Asian women have this reverse snobbery like, "Oh this Asian guy approached me today.....why does he think he has a chance with me? Just cause I'm Asian?"In any case, back to topic. In the ballroom dance community that I'm in, it's primarily caucasian folks and a few Asian folks. The few Asians I've encountered are great people. They're highly westernized ones such as myself and we think the same way. So obviously, I'm generalizing in my last paragraph.
Not sure what all those posts about learning Asian languages had to do with me or what I said, but it's a cool hobby and good on you for embracing the challenges of learning them.
I have a pretty negative attitude when it comes to my heritage. I was born in Canada. I grew up here and this is my home. I didn't know any Asians growing up. It wasn't until college that I started making my first Asian friends and knowing that there's these whole Asian communities. I embrace people from all walks of life as long as they gel with me and we have similar interests. I may be Asian but that's only a small part of who I am. It doesn't define me. as it does for a lot of people who grew up in Asian communities and feel that they've got this label on their forehead wherever they go. I'm very western-minded and highly individualistic.That being said, the same doesn't seem to apply in the dating world. Asian women in particular are prime pickings for men of all races, particularly white men. Nothing wrong with this. Attraction is attraction. But I've met some particularly snotty Asian women who look down on Asian men and exclusively date white men. There's nothing wrong with dating people from any race. I've dated white, middle-eastern/arab, latina and Asian. The most negative experiences have been with Asian women, particularly this racial snobbery. Part of this is the fault of Asian men themselves who only go for Asian women because they think that's the only type of women who would go out with them. I can't tell you how many Asian men I've encountered who have said to me, "Oh look at that white girl. She's so pretty. Oh but she's white. She'd never be interested in an Asian guy like me." And Asian women have this reverse snobbery like, "Oh this Asian guy approached me today.....why does he think he has a chance with me? Just cause I'm Asian?"In any case, back to topic. In the ballroom dance community that I'm in, it's primarily caucasian folks and a few Asian folks. The few Asians I've encountered are great people. They're highly westernized ones such as myself and we think the same way. So obviously, I'm generalizing in my last paragraph.
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DanceMentor
Administrator
Ah, I understand better now. You are probably more in Eastern Canada versus western Canada. I don't know the numbers exactly but here in Southern California I'm guessing it is at least 30% Asian. Maybe just keep working on being a good dancer and be nice to everyone even if they are not always reciprocating. Sometimes people who appear cold at first could be completely different six months or a year from now.
VronskyWasSoVain
Active Member
@DanceMentor
That's very true. I guess with you being a dance teacher, you've seen that a lot. I was like that too. I remember being scared to death trying ballroom dance for the first time. I probably came off as very cold and insecure.
Yah the views I'm talking about from these Asian women, I've realized that it's not like they've discovered some universal truth. It's due to their own insecurities and the roots of it are deep and complex.
That's very true. I guess with you being a dance teacher, you've seen that a lot. I was like that too. I remember being scared to death trying ballroom dance for the first time. I probably came off as very cold and insecure.
Yah the views I'm talking about from these Asian women, I've realized that it's not like they've discovered some universal truth. It's due to their own insecurities and the roots of it are deep and complex.
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Dance Mad Helen
Well-Known Member
I dance on the university circuit in the UK. Due to lack of males I have danced for the past two years and possibly a third year as a lead. Both partners have been and inch to two inches taller. We did ok at comps but I found with my second partner that i could stride better as her hip height was higher than my hip height. Due to partners graduating I have had a couple of partners and I am still doing closed syllabus. While i consider height it is lower down my list.
I look for a partner in this order
willing to dance with me (being female lead freaks some people out)
committed and willing to try
have similar goals and budget
how they dance with me are they heavier in the arms can they take a lead easily
then i look for height and shape
Like other posters have said there are ways not to exaggerate height and if you are lower level its just good to start with a partner then progress
I look for a partner in this order
willing to dance with me (being female lead freaks some people out)
committed and willing to try
have similar goals and budget
how they dance with me are they heavier in the arms can they take a lead easily
then i look for height and shape
Like other posters have said there are ways not to exaggerate height and if you are lower level its just good to start with a partner then progress
fineshrine
Active Member
Is this the choice between having no partner and having a partner who is taller than you?
It's easy. Dance with the tall girl. Nothing in life is perfect. There are many people out there who have no partner whatsoever. If you are compatible in every other way at least try it out.