Private lessons: solo vs. couple

[lynn]

I vaguely recall an old thread discussing a similar topic but considering the search function has come up with more postings than i have time to read, I can only start a new one.

My question is this: is it a good idea to be taking private lessons solo? I have a practice partner that I'm shamelessly hanging on to because I need the extra practice. He has no intention of taking private lessons because that is not his goal nor does he have the financial means of such luxury (in more or less his words). From my experience, I learn substantially more in private lessons than in group where we normally just focus on patterns because of the sheer size of the class. Private lesson is where I learn to improve my technique and form and in my teacher's words, getting to the point of "look and feel better about one's dancing".

Right now, my partner and I are pretty much at the same level but my concern is that if the situation continues (me taking private lessons, him choosing to pass), I will very likely progress at a much faster rate than he is and be dancing at different levels. I'm wondering has anybody been able to maintain a successful partnership under such circumstances?

 

[Kitty]

the shared private once every 2 weeks is not too much in cost. each of you would be effectively paying for one lesson per month. But at least you would have an idea of what each of you need to practice and work on as a couple.

would that be a possibility?

 

[lynn]

Hi, Kitty,

I thought of the possibility, unfortunately, he's not so willing. At this point, he's concentrating on latin dances and is forgoing standard also because of $$ issues, so private classes are out of question at this point. I guess we have sort of a diverse goal: I want to improve as much as I can whereas he wants to improve to the point where he can just get by. I can't force him to taking private lessons with me but neither do I want to accomodate him to the extreme where we either take classes together or we don't. I know some compromise is a necessity in a partnership, am i just being too self-centred to not wanting to give in :roll: ?

 

[Vince A]

I think that you answered your own question . . . of course you get more out of privates, as do most of us! And you cannot make someone do something. So, why try? Let them see your progress, and if they don't . . . oh well!

My wife takes lessons three to six times a week . . . she is bordering on going "Pro," yet I am considered an Intermediate dancer . . I like to do other things besides dance ( I know - shame on me)!

I take lessons only once a week. I don't need to learn all that technical stuff, although I grasp dancing very quickly usually have to only be shown once! I don't care what "place" I end up in a competition, so I don't do perfect technical, but I do have fun on the floor.

Even though my wife is more advanced than me . . . guess who my favorite social dance partner is? She knows how to lower "her standards."

I wouldn't worry about it. If he doesn't want to grow with you . . . find another dance partner. He'll get over it. Been there, done that. Or don't . . . I don't think you have too many options.

You didn't mention the word "relationship." Is this also one of those?

 

[lynn]

Hey, Vince, what happened to the rooster & the guitar avatar (i think it was a guitar??)

Yikes, no, there's no "relationship" whatsoever outside of dancing so my problem is quite simple. Lucky me, i guess....

 

[Katarzyna]

Agreed, if your goals are not the same, and if you progress ahead of him, it will make sense to look for another partner... You can't force someone to do something they don't want to. One of the first people I danced with onece told me "What's the point of perfecting my spin turn, how is that going to improve my life".. The partnership didn't survive.. He was a great social danceer, and didn't care to take it to the competitve level... It made sense to split up..

 

[Kitty]

Hi, Kitty,

I thought of the possibility, unfortunately, he's not so willing. At this point, he's concentrating on latin dances and is forgoing standard also because of $$ issues, so private classes are out of question at this point. I guess we have sort of a diverse goal: I want to improve as much as I can whereas he wants to improve to the point where he can just get by. I can't force him to taking private lessons with me but neither do I want to accomodate him to the extreme where we either take classes together or we don't. I know some compromise is a necessity in a partnership, am i just being too self-centred to not wanting to give in :roll: ?

are the group classes he and you are taking good? If you take a group together and get enough info to work on in your practices, then you might be fine. If the group class is not that useful, and you don't take lessons together it won't work in long term.

maybe you could convince him eventually to take privates... or maybe groups are good, or maybe he could give up groups and use the money to take shared privates (thats what I would do if the group classes are not great... ). If none of this options is possible I doubt the partnership would make sense in long term...


you can impove your latin technique (rumba walks, chacha locks, unders arm turns) some by taking lessons on your own and practicing the info with someone else. But not in long term.

 

[cl5814]

I am in a similar situation. My "dance dummy" (aka partner) as i now refer to him only sticks to collegiate group classes where he is learning all 10 dances. Somehow he is learning bronze - gold moves.
I am interested in learning more technique etc. like you described your goal was.
What i have settled on for now is that we "use" one another as a dummy for practice. I'll ask him to lead something specific for me so that i can practice some technique with a partner. In return he leads all his new or fancy moves, which 80 % of the time i have not heard/seen yet, but he gets to practice leading the moves.
We are having fun so far, it is not really that beneficial for me, but sort of working.
I am on the look out for a different partner.

I'll say stick to solo lessons, ask for routines to practice your moves by yourself....

 

[standardgirl]

ha, this is everything I have experienced......

I don't know about your partner, but my ex partner just wouldn't take privates period! Well, it's a money issue, but it's more of a priority issue than a financial issue IMO considered how huge the discount is for us collegiate people. ($60 for a 60 min lesson with a US pro open semifinalist). He just won't take it, not even every other week.

Okay, assuming you do pay attention in your private lesson and that you have a fairly good teacher, the chances are YES, you are going to progress faster, and the partnership will stop working out eventually. How long that will take depends on a lot of factors though. It could be as short as a few months.

Move on and get a different partner if you two have different goals!
I know it's hard to get a partner (and it might sound easy for me to say dump your partner :wink, and I will probably be partnerless in about a month (unless I decide to spend money on plane tickets to keep th partnership). I could still dance with my ex partner (in fact, he still wants to dance together), but that would just put me back in your situation, and I am sick of that!

My ex partner and I took group classes together (really good group classes with mostly techniques and minimal steps&patterns), but thing still stop working after a while.

I am going to continue taking privates and doing pro/am for about a year. Hopefully, I can improve as much as possible in this time frame and then move to NY for a job and a partner.

It would be slightly different though if he has the same goal as you but just financially not able to afford dancing, but since it doesn't sound like he cares as much as you do, I would say - Just continue with your privates, and move one, life is too short......

 

[lynn]

What's the point of perfecting my spin turn, how is that going to improve my life"..

Hmm, I've had someone saying similar things to me.....obviously i'm not good enough to be in any competitions, but i don't want to rule that out as a future possibility. The reason why i'm also so keen on taking private classes is because I like to start with good technique rather than working backwards and correcting whatever bad habits I picked up (been there, done that, very painful experience).

Kitty, the group classes are o.k., the instructors are first-rate (they're regional champions for 12 or 13 consecutive years) but the problem is that the group classes are always so huge (from 50-100 ppl). There's no way the instructor can go into anything in depth or give individualized attention. They go through a lot of steps/patterns in one class (and i mean a lot!) so in appearance students progress at a very fast rate but many of them can't lead/follow.

I have a feeling this partnership probably won't survive the long run as well, thus the "shameless" statement.....

 

[Vince A]

Hey, Vince, what happened to the rooster & the guitar avatar (i think it was a guitar??)

I change the avatar from time to time . . . keeping it guitar related most of the time!

Yikes, no, there's no "relationship" whatsoever outside of dancing so my problem is quite simple. Lucky me, i guess....

Lucky is a good word for it, and others here hopefully have contributed to your solution!

You know what "you want" . . . now go after it! Don't ever stop growing for someone else . . . even if it is shadowed with a relationship! You can never predict what road another person will take tomorrow, but you can map your own way for your trip!

Good luck!

 

[standardgirl]

convincing someone to take private lessons could be really really hard......
I have been doing it for a long time, and have finally gave up!

One way to do it is to buy a private lesson for him as a gift and let him take it by himself. Let the teacher know it before hand, that the purpose of the lesson is to get him into taking more privates! This methods only work for certain people......like some collegiate guys who think they are the best dancers and therefore don't need privates... :wink:
<a teacher told me this method...... :twisted: >

certainly won't work if it's because of a total different goal, or financial reasons......

 

[Katarzyna]

but the problem is that the group classes are always so huge (from 50-100 ppl).

Wow, that's really big. I don't think I've ever seen a class this size :shock:

 

[lynn]

Wow, that's really big. I don't think I've ever seen a class this size :shock:

I know what you mean, i was shocked when I had my first class....thought I wondered into some exhibition or something.... most of the group classes i've been to have no more than 30 people (most range from 10-20).

 

[Katarzyna]

Why don't you work with this guy on whatever you cover in class, continue your solo lessons, and start looking around for someone with similar aspirations... Tell your practice partner about it though, so everyting is out in the open