Purchasing more lessons instead of expensive gifts for your instructor

[VronskyWasSoVain]

If your instructor is doing a good job for you taking more lessons isn't a bad idea. I'd try to avoid thinking of them as a substitute for gifts, though. It doesn't happen to everyone, but one pitfall of thinking you're giving someone a gift or doing them a favor can be feeling you're owed something in return.

And that's my entire point. If I've got a very talented instructor who is helping me make breakthroughs in my dancing, I want to show my appreciation by doing more lessons with her. That way, it's for our mutual benefit. Giving her gifts is like saying now she owes me something. But if I do more lessons with her, we both benefit.

 

[lucia_l]

V,
I understand completely! My husband is 59 and he also felt weird handing gifts to the female teacher. That's why I gave them! Also, since we gave to both teachers, and they knew we were happily married, we knew it wouldn't be misinterpreted. It also helps that we most definitely aren't trying to woo them!

If we were single, we'd have to have a screw lose to think the 20 - 30 year old instructors thought we were in their dating range. Yes, they are attractive. But wrt to my teacher and jim's teacher I'd be more likely to want to play matchmaker with my nieces and nephews!

Don't feel bad not giving gifts. It's not required. As I mentioned, I'm a tutor. One of the reasons they are nice is they aren't required. In your position where you actually might otherwise like to date the women who are your instructors it's better to not give them gifts. I'm sure they appreciate lack of ambiguity just as much as you do!

 

[VronskyWasSoVain]

V,
Don't feel bad not giving gifts. It's not required. As I mentioned, I'm a tutor. One of the reasons they are nice is they aren't required. In your position where you actually might otherwise like to date the women who are your instructors it's better to not give them gifts. I'm sure they appreciate lack of ambiguity just as much as you do!

I've grown to respect my instructors for their talents. I would never want to put them in a position to compromise their careers even if they were interested in dating me. I see how hard they work and how devoted they are to the art of dance. I also have dance goals of my own that I want to achieve and they are my way of getting there.

Yes, no gifts. More lessons. The biggest gift you can give an artist is to show appreciation of their art.

 

[Lai Lai]

In my opinion, taking more lessons is not a substitute for gift, it is giving more work.

Appreciation can be expressed in words.

 

[VronskyWasSoVain]

In my opinion, taking more lessons is not a substitute for gift, it is giving more work.

Appreciation can be expressed in words.

Lessons are expensive. If I'm taking more lessons with an instructor, it means I'm appreciating her skills as a teacher and that it's working. At my school, the instructors take pleasure in seeing their students improve and succeed. I've seen instances of mild frustration when some of their students are stagnant and haven't improved. It's not all about the money for them.