Question about non-dancing partners

[Heather2007]

Yes, I am confused as to what the issue is here. Perhaps Colometa could clarify?

Or maybe Colometa is being intentioally controversial. Remember that post with the guy who could only dance with skinny birds. I hinted at the time that he was basically "aving a larf" and got an earful. Hmm. Still wasn't convinced mind. Now, there's the rub. For her sake, I truly hope she is.

 

[Light Sleeper]

Or maybe Colometa is being deliberately controversial - ha, ha, ha. Remember that post with the guy who could only dance with skinny birds. Wasn't there s*xual connations made in his post as well as mentions of insecurity? I hinted at the time that he was basically "aving a larf" and got an earful. Hmm. Still wasn't convinced mind. Could be another one of those. One and the same praps. Hmm - now, there's the rub.

Ha ha! Are you 'avin' a larf? Yeeeeeeas! We're so genteel on dance forums! Pity! I must admit, I don't think I'd poissonally make a controversial post as my very first post! Wonder what happened to the 'crazy wild chemistry' lady?

 

[Heather2007]

Ha ha! Are you 'avin' a larf? Yeeeeeeas! We're so genteel on dance forums! Pity! I must admit, I don't think I'd poissonally make a controversial post as my very first post! Wonder what happened to the 'crazy wild chemistry' lady?

Oi - you taking the mick outta my Sarf East London roots. You'd never believe hearing me speak and then I tell people I was raised in Deptford (yep, not far from where Christopher Marlowe was murdered) and I get the drop jaw reaction all the pigging time

_________________________________
What doesn't kill you, makes you strange
Heath Ledger as the Joker

 

[Light Sleeper]

Ha ha! Are you 'avin' a larf? Yeeeeeeas! We're so genteel on dance forums! Pity! I must admit, I don't think I'd poissonally make a controversial post as my very first post! Wonder what happened to the 'crazy wild chemistry' lady?

When I said 'genteel' I could've said 'naive' - orr, aren't we sweet! Still, my dictum is 'if in doubt act polite'.

I just discovered what 'bump' meant t'other day on a forum known for looney trolls (imdb) it means you can bring up non-controversial posts to the top by just keeping posting to those threads, if you can't think of 'owt to say you say 'bump' (don't know if this is true but it stands for 'bring up my post'). :rocker: Eeeeh, you learn somat new every day

 

[Light Sleeper]

Oi - you taking the mick outta my Sarf East London roots. You'd never believe hearing me speak and then I tell people I was raised in Deptford (yep, not far from where Christopher Marlowe was murdered) and I get the drop jaw reaction all the pigging time

_________________________________
What doesn't kill you, makes you strange
Heath Ledger as the Joker

Ha ha! I ain't takin' the Mick (Jagger) art o' yer sarf Landin mockney accent, treacle!

 

[Me]

I can appreciate how truly foreign something like tango is to a non-dancer. As tempting as it is for me to say, "You guys must have other issues if the dancing bothers you," I have to instead say, tango can be a big pill to swallow. Bodies can be very close, depending on the style, and there is also a spiritual feeling or connection that you often hear people talking about. It is intimate. But, is it sexual? I would like to say, no.

Not everybody, even the dancers, are as mature about dancing as we all like to say we are. Yes, probably, some of the women enjoy hanging on your man out there. If you were to learn tango then yes, probably some of the men would enjoy having a chance to hold you in their arms for a few minutes. But, for those of us who truly love the dance, we are only interested in the dance and how the dance makes us feel. When I sense this sort of "hey, baby" vibe coming from my partner, I completely ignore it and instead enjoy other things about what he is giving me. It has never been a problem for myself, the men I dance with, or my boyfriend.

I am very, very fortunate to have a boyfriend who dances as well. Tango is something he loves very, very much. I think the only time jealousy has become an issue for me was as a beginner, it would irritate me to watch the actions of the women after the dance. They'd gaze into his eyes, hold onto his arm just a little longer than I would like... but we talked about it. He knew it bothered me. It was just something I had to get past as a new dancer. It was just part of the growing process.

Maybe you should give tango a try. Just to see. I do know that social dance is not the best hobby for all. Some people just can't get past the touching. And, that is okay. It just means there are other things in the world that are better for you than dancing.

 

[quixotedlm]

And wrt to the whole spiritual connection thing, there are those of us who (imo, rightfully) believe that emotional and intellectual intimacies are greater than physical (although you need them all in a relationship). and if i had an SO who shared 'spiritual' connection with other men in a way that she can't/won't share with me, i'd feel left out in an important way.

 

[nucat78]

And wrt to the whole spiritual connection thing, there are those of us who (imo, rightfully) believe that emotional and intellectual intimacies are greater than physical (although you need them all in a relationship). and if i had an SO who shared 'spiritual' connection with other men in a way that she can't/won't share with me, i'd feel left out in an important way.

A good friend who's a psychologist lists 4 connections that she believes are necessary for a real relationship:

physical
intellectual
spiritual
emotional

Without all four, she thinks one is simply in a "Better Than Nothing" relationship. I think she's quite wise.

 

[bordertangoman]

And wrt to the whole spiritual connection thing, there are those of us who (imo, rightfully) believe that emotional and intellectual intimacies are greater than physical (although you need them all in a relationship). and if i had an SO who shared 'spiritual' connection with other men in a way that she can't/won't share with me, i'd feel left out in an important way.

a spiritual connection? i can't say I've ever experienced that.
Lots of lovely physical dances with great connection and i find many dancers need to be dragged out of their (mental) boxes

 

[Me]

a spiritual connection? i can't say I've ever experienced that.
Lots of lovely physical dances with great connection and i find many dancers need to be dragged out of their (mental) boxes

That muscle man avatar seems ever-so-appropriate at this moment...

 

[_malakawa_]

lady, you are very insecure woman.

i had a bf whom was not a dancer and really jealous. i said do him that he need to deal with it or we can't be together.

i agree with other in here. you have 3 ways.

btw. what will i say (or my bf for me). he is a teacher, and our students are coming in the studio just to say hello before they go to work. before a lesson they bring as food, flowers ......

girls are looking at my bf like in a God.

 

[Angel HI]

Does any one of you have a wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend who does not dance the tango? How do they react to your dancing? My boyfriend has been dancing for many years and I have to say that it annoys me. I don't understand why my man has to be touching other women while nobody is touching me. Am I completely wrong about this?

Yes, you are. As a counselor as well as a dancer, I must say that the problem has nothing to do with dancing or tango, but with jealousy caused by fear/insecurities. I would be happy to discuss some of it off of the boards if you would like to PM me. If not, it's OK, but you might need to confront some other things in your life other than tango in order to get over your problem. Of some interest, actually, is that many, not saying you, who suffer with these types of jealousies, actually do not want to get over it. That is perceived as losing something which is an integral part of the original problem.

Sorry if all of this was a wee too counselorish (OK, I made up that word... )

 

[Heather2007]

a spiritual connection? i can't say I've ever experienced that.

Me neither. I guess all that BO, heavy hairgel, dodgy breath just gets in the way of any spiritual moment:tongue:

 

[Joe]

Does any one of you have a wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend who does not dance the tango? How do they react to your dancing? My boyfriend has been dancing for many years and I have to say that it annoys me. I don't understand why my man has to be touching other women while nobody is touching me. I heard all about how the touching during the tango is completely non-sexual but it makes no difference to me.

Am I completely wrong about this? I will appreciate any help or suggestions. Thank you!!!

Girlfriend, you need a hobby.

 

[piimapoika]

I've had gfs that don't dance. In fact, I have yet to have a gf that I've met through tango.

Contrary to this, all my relationships since I was 14 (I am now 61) have been with ladies I have met dancing. I wasn't aware one could meet members of the opposite sex any other way . . .