Recently started dancing (agin)

[bubblybear]

Recently started taking classes again, and something thats been bothering me is that im really shy, so if i have trouble with something in class i dont say anythig and i just try to work on it on my own. or sometimes the teacher will point out what im doing that needs to be corrected and thats fine. I feel like the teachers get annoyed when i do a move repeatedly wrong, and sometimes its not that i dont understand its just that i cant follow the music as well and i cant do them on time or i get mixed up in my head. It makes me feel really self conscious then because i feel like i should be doing better. And other times i worry that theyre annoyed im not asking questions if im confused. but im really shy and i dont feel comfortable asking questions in front of everyone. Sometimes i ask at the end of class but they dont seem to like that.

Just wondering if people have experience similar to this, or if they have any advice?

 

[s2k]

Hi Bubblybear, welcome to DF!

If you want to be a bubblier bear, my advice has little to do with dance and more to do with this crushing shyness you're experiencing. Google Toastmasters and see if there's a local group in your area. The Toastmasters organization is a public speaking one and helps people from all walks of life work on the exact issues you're most self conscious about.

Asking for help after class is frustrating for teachers - class is over; whatever they say won't help you immediately. Speak up for what you need.

You have a concern that all the teachers are frustrated or upset with you. You're making assumptions based on what you are afraid they're thinking and not on what they are actually thinking - to know that, you'd need to speak up and communicate.

There's nothing wrong with being shy... until it interferes with your needs. So Google Toastmasters. It's not like fight club - you don't have to speak your first time - but there are strategy lessons and speakers who can advise you. Until one day you'll go for it. Speaking publicly can be scary - until you realize no one is thinking about you all the things you've been afraid they're thinking.

And then you're free.

 

[fascination]

Recently started taking classes again, and something thats been bothering me is that im really shy, so if i have trouble with something in class i dont say anythig and i just try to work on it on my own. or sometimes the teacher will point out what im doing that needs to be corrected and thats fine. I feel like the teachers get annoyed when i do a move repeatedly wrong, and sometimes its not that i dont understand its just that i cant follow the music as well and i cant do them on time or i get mixed up in my head. It makes me feel really self conscious then because i feel like i should be doing better. And other times i worry that theyre annoyed im not asking questions if im confused. but im really shy and i dont feel comfortable asking questions in front of everyone. Sometimes i ask at the end of class but they dont seem to like that.

Just wondering if people have experience similar to this, or if they have any advice?

well look...you have one or 2 problems here...

1) shyness
2) teachers who are potentially jerks, because they shouldn't be annoyed with students for any reason other than them being late, obnoxious, or distracting...or you may also be overly sensitive/paranoid

let's start with 1) shyness.... because it's the easiest....lots of people are shy and they manage to get over it enough to learn to dance...you can't take yourself so seriously...let go of your ego and realize nobody there really cares that much about you to begin with that they probably aren't even bothering to cast judgment on you and even if they are judging you, who cares?...seriously, they don't even know you that well....shyness isn't like having a terminal illness, you can work around it and no one is going to give you special exception because of it ....so, unless you want to dance alone in front of a television tutorial, you have to sort of buck up and get over it ....not saying it's easy but life isn't easy....if you want to dance badly enough you will...all of life is about letting go of our ego...you can do it...truth is, most people are going to naturally gravitate toward looking at the good dancers anyhow...

2) if you have teachers who are looking annoyed in a group lesson, you need to go somewhere else.

or

if you are only guessing that they are annoyed, stop that, and give them the benefit of the doubt....they see newcomers and bad dancers all the time....if that annoyed them they would likely have left long ago

 

[FancyFeet]

but im really shy and i dont feel comfortable asking questions in front of everyone. Sometimes i ask at the end of class but they dont seem to like that.

Just wondering if people have experience similar to this, or if they have any advice?

If a question takes longer than a second to answer, chances are the teacher isn't going to like answering it after class. That's infringing on their time - they may have another class to teach, or that may be their dinner break, for example.

A few things that you could try, assuming speaking up during class is too tough right now:
1) Let the teacher know you're shy, and ask if there's a way you can ask questions without having to do it in front of everyone. Maybe they could agree to check in with you privately during class, or let you e-mail unanswered questions after class that they can address next time.
2) Befriend an extrovert... find someone in the class who is outgoing, and ask them to ask questions for you. (This is a band-aid, rather than a cure!)
3) Book a private lesson with the teacher. This is how you get them one-on-one and in a patient frame of mind. The other big advantage to this is that the teacher will focus on what you are finding difficult.

I'd recommend a combination of numbers 1 and 3, because that will get you the answers you need while also letting you work on ways to cope with being shy.

And last, to echo what others have said - try not to worry so much. You're in a class to learn. There is no expectation that you be able to do things perfectly on your first attempt, only that you give things a try and work at it. Cut yourself some slack... and when you do, you may find that it's actually easier to learn that way