Should I change instructors dilemma

[dancecat]

I mostly lurk, but this has been bothering me, so throwing myself on the mercy of the collective wisdom here on the board.
I have been doing weekly lessons with my instructor for almost 2 months now. My goals are to compete and to someday teach. I made this clear upfront from the beginning and I have no problems expressing myself.

I feel like the lessons quickly stagnated and that I wasn't learning. We are also supposed to work on my learning to teach, but this was slow in coming. Obviously dancing is not cheap and being on a budget, I have to scrape up the funds. Spending money on 3 lessons doing the same closed routine without any arms or any real feedback is not a good value in my opinion. I have a dance background and learn quickly. I finally said that I was getting bored and I said this without malice, just matter of factly.
His response was that he was "still trying to figure me out" I don't know what that has do with teaching me to dance competitively. I said there was nothing to figure out and that I want to dance and compete. His next response was " Lots of people say they want to compete, but they really don't follow through." I didn't see what that has to do with me either. If you were to meet me, you would see that I am a strong, determined person with a lot of drive.

Well, things have gone downhill since then and my last 2 lessons started out on sour notes. Last week, after laughing and talking with other students, we all stepped away to begin our lessons. I turned to face my instructor and the first thing out of his mouth was " Don't look so thrilled to be here" I just looked surprised and ignored it. What do you say to something so rude? I was having a good time and that just killed it.

Today he wanted to start with Latin walks which is totally different from what we usually do. He knows I have a back problem( which I never should have fessed up to, but he caught me grimacing in pain one day) In correcting my motion he said it was something I do not like to do. Not at all, but I do have trouble doing it, but will work on it.

We did discuss that we seem to have a "disconnect" He says I have a barrier up and that he has a hard time reading me. What?? I just don't get it. This kind of dance world is new to me, so I am not sure what to make of it. I think I just want to drop out of the training program and take lessons from another instructor. How do I accomplish this without a great deal of drama which I loathe?

Sorry for the long post!

 

[chocolatchica]

I feel for you dancecat. Let me sum my thoughts up into one simple though.....Some people just don't click. I personally know a lot of people who have gone through a couple of instructors until they found one that they feel has their best interests at heart and can really help them achieve their goal. I see no reason in you spending your money on someone that takes the fun out of dancing for you (which can be the worst) and someone that you feel is not brining you any closer to your goals. There are just as many teaching styles as there are learning styles and I think that you need to find someone that you click with. Staying with the wrong instructor can at times be detrimental to your dancing. Think about it.....it is your money. You have choices.If your not sure shop around. Get recommendations and have a try-out lesson with an instructor. Usually they'll give you a discounted price for the try-out lesson and then you can see if find an instructor that has more of the teaching style you are looking for. Plus there is no commitment because its just a try-out. Hope everything works out well for you

 

[SwingWaltz]

I believe you should feel that you are getting what you want with your money, and if you don't feel that's happening, go to someone else by all means.

But also, may I suggest you concentrate on learning the dances first instead of learning how to teach, especially if you are relatively new to dancing. Teaching is a process of passing your knowledge on to someone else, but first you not only have to gain that knowledge, but to a certain degree of excellence.

Best of luck with everything!

 

[QPO]

I so agree with Swing Waltz. I too would love to teach dance, but now that I am dancing (ballroom) and have danced for 2-1/2 years and going to a good teacher, I am no where near ready to teach. I know you say you have a dance background, as I did but each genre of dance is quite different ( I have done contemporary and Jazz). It may take years. Find someone else that will inspire you.

 

[fascination]

several points I guess....

A)learning to dance well has almost nothing to do with learning alot of steps...thus the simplistic stuff you may be doing may be very appropriate

B)while the instructor may be nonchalant about teaching you, nothing you have written neccessarily indicates it

C)doing rumba walks exceedingly well is about the single most important thing you can practice and learn if you hope to teach or compete in latin/rhythm

D)the ensuing physical pain is going to be a part of your reality from time to time if you want to compete and teach

E)regarding his remark, he may well have noted that you became a bit less enthused between talking with the group and moving into one on one with him

F)while money is certainly a stressor, speeding up the learning process to do things that seem more interesting may not get you where you want to go

G)assuming I am wrong about all of these things, if you go out to another studio and you tell a fairly well-known competing pro what your goals are and what your timetable is...see what his plan of action would be...see if he thinks you are being realistic...see what he would do....

H)having a background in dance doesn't mean you have either mastered what is most essential about dance fundamentals nor does it neccessarily mean that picking up what is most important in ballroom will be a faster process....

I)I encourage you to ask some other pros (for the sake of the current one who may be acting in good faith as well as for your own sake) whether or not what has been happening seems like a good plan of action b/c two months is not much time to be able to have the proper perspective and you may be being unfairly harsh...

J)if you guys just don't get along for personality reasons, it isn't as though you live in a small city without numerous options

K)good luck and welcome to DF

 

[latervet1]

if you know for a fact that you want to teach ballroom dance you may consider doing one of the chain studio programs. Many people on these boards have had very negative experiences with the chains but Arthur Murray and Fred Astaire both have learn to teach dance programs- no experience needed. obviously you will not be a top level dancer at the end of the program but you get some very intense training in a short period without having to pay for it ( but you are not getting paid either) you are not guaranteed a job at the end of it but chances are good. from there you could continue to work on your dancing and compete personally with another instructor. Check out their websites.

 

[Me]

dancecat,

The red flags I see here are when you ask a question about learning and technique, this instructor gives you touchy feely answers about how you are putting up 'barriers' and that you are making it hard for them to 'figure you out.' These responses do two things: 1 - place the blame upon you and; 2 - use the incorporeal to respond to the corporeal.

So in short, it sounds to me like this instructor might not know how to teach you, so they are using vague, passively accusatory excuses. I would reconsider pursuing teacher training from this individual.

Now, that could be a complete mis-read on my part.

 

[samina]

I agree w/ fasc's points -- excellent summary. Just one additional thought...

It's possible he is mirroring something back to you which you aren't aware of and might benefit from exploring. IME, whatever their flaws, ballroom dance professionals tend to be very perceptive. It's very unusual and quite a steep goal to start from square one in ballroom with the immediate objective being to both compete and teach, especially when known physical limitations are on the table. It's not a stretch in my mind to want to understand what's behind that, and a couple months of instruction may have evolved the relationship to a point where he wants to give a reality check.

Sometimes others see us more clearly than we see ourselves.

Than again, what do I know...maybe you're just incompatible and should move on. You'll figure it out.
*hug*

 

[Peaches]

Agree whole-heartedly with Sam and F.

So true about teachers being able to pick up on things.

 

[nucat78]

Tough one. I agree mostly with Fas and Sam. But I can also see merit in what Me says.

I myself would love to teach one day but that is a relatively new self-revelation. I think it would be wise for you not to jump to any conclusions just yet.

I know lessons are expensive so you want the most bang for your buck but sometimes a little floundering about helps you and others see things more clearly. I do believe in reality checks but I've also seen people do amazing things when the experts had told them, "No way."

Good luck and do keep us posted!

 

[Ithink]

If your goal is to teach, great but after 2 months a good instructor would NOT make any attempts to teach you how to teach. They would, however, try to teach you to dance, which it sounds like your instructor is doing. All the comments he's made to you that you take offense at *may* possibly be pretty benign, especially after 2 months.

Though I will say that a good instructor would probably have "figured you out" by now (it shouldnt take more than a few lessons for that) and this instructor may not know how to teach you. He may also just not be a good teacher. It's all possible. Do I think with your 2 months of lessons you should be dropping someone who makes you do latin walks the whole lesson - absolutely not; that's what you SHOULD be doing! Do I think you should drop someone because you feel you're wasting your money on lessons with him/her - absolutely YES.

So there you are: not an answer but more of a reality check If this instructor, at this point in your training, does not want to teach you how to teach, I applaud him and this makes me think that maybe he is a good instructor after all. If he's saying all these vague "I'm trying to figure you out" things to keep your money flowing, then I think you should think twice about continuing with him. The bottom line is: we're not there and cannot tell how these things are said or what his skills are. One thing I would recommend above all is chatting with some of his other students or seeing what kinds of strides they've made under his tutelage because an instructor's skill is very easy to tell when looking at his students, especially ones who came to him as newbies like you did.

 

[Laura]

I agree with Ithink. You say you've had weekly lessons for two months. That's about 8 lessons. I'm guessing your lessons are at most an hour each, so that gives you about 8 hours of ballroom dance training at this point. Even with a great instructor, that's barely time to learn anything, even if you're an expert at seventeen other kinds of dance.

Yes, do look around and get a sense of what other teacher's methods are like, it's always good to know what your options are in any event.

 

[biggestbox]

So do you want to teach or compete? Those are two different things, which one is first? For teaching join a studio and become a trainee. you will learn American social dancing and LOTs of steps. if you want to compete, you should hit up the good group classes (cheaper). Work on your technique many hours during the day. When i started i did rumba walks for 1-2 hours every day. Build strength and flexibility. On a daily basis, you might need 2-3 hours in the gym plus 2-3 hours in the dance studio. it all depends on your level. if you are a highly trained dancer already (professional dancer) you need to find a teacher with your background who can relate information to you. some US champions have come from this route. Bill Sparks for example went to a conservatory for ballet, got an injury and switched to latin...the rest is history.

 

[dancecat]

Great points all around! I should point out that I also had a few lessons with another instructor and was "recruited" by my current instructor when I expressed an interest in eventually teaching. I have also had ballroom lessons before, albeit quite some time ago. I do learn very quickly and being self-taught in a number of other things, I believe the ability to learn is a skill that one can develop.

Really, the teaching is secondary. First of all, I want to be able to connect with someone and dance with passion and musicality.

I also teach, although my subject involves more eye and hand coordination. I engaged in this activity for several years before teaching, so I know it takes time to develop skills. That may also influence my idea of teaching. I would never say some of the things to my customers that have been said to me. I actually find it unprofessional and would lose business if I acted that way. There have also been some remarks about other instructors and a student that I find inappropriate. Maybe my idea of doing business is harsh in the ballroom world?

Now that I think about it, I believe some of my disapproval(perhaps loss of respect) is coming across in the lessons. Unfortunately, I think the options here are somewhat limited especially if I want to compete, but I think I want to move on. I would actually like to take some lessons with another instructor in the same studio, but I am afraid there is no good way to make the switch!

 

[liz]

I so agree with all above. In the beginning when I first started taking lessons all I knew was that I wanted to be the best. I didn't know what I didn't know.Funny thing is the more I train and the more indepth my knowledge becomes, I realize that I have countless years to learn... I thought I would want to teach. Being able to dance and be able to teach is two different things. I think that one day I will be able to teach. But, only when my understanding of all aspects are clear. I think you should have a clear focus. You have to crawl be for you (rumba) walk.