Should I move to a better dance scene?

[hepcat]

Hi,

When I moved to my current location a little over 6 years ago, I told myself that I would move back (east) before I turned 30. However now I'm 32 and have pretty much settled in. However a good friend of mine (one of my favorite balboa follows) has just moved away to a big city, something we'd often talked about, (among other reasons) to find a better dance scene. Now my old feelings of wanting to do the same thing are coming back.

My current location is a small city (perhaps town is a better description) and people come and go because it's touristy. It's somewhat remote and most people here are rather transient. The average level of dance skill is pretty low. I've tried organizing practices and stuff, but they just don't catch on. The swing scene is pretty small. During a slow period, we can have as few as 3 couples on the dance floor. Summers are the best and draws decent sized crowds, but still, the skill level is fairly low.

I've got a good job here. I pretty much keep my own hours and the pay is good. I like what I do. As far as dancing goes, I'm a big fish in a small pond, which has its benefits. I DJ at the dances and am well respected. I'm in a show each year called Swingin' Suites that's a lot of fun. The weather here is very nice and I love the local food. However, there's not many people my age around (which has an obvious down-side). I miss the big city. I miss the green (trees & grass). I miss the rain. I'm far away from family. Plus, I think my dance skill has plateau'ed. I'm trying to learn from instructional DVDs & videos, but I think I'd progress a lot faster if I were around some people better than me. There's not as many opportunities to dance around here as I'd like. I used to live in a big city where I would dance 3 nights a week, but here, there's only a chance to dance 1.25 nights a week.

I'm in negotiations right now to buy a condo (at a ridiculous price - the cost of living here is high). However, even if I buy it, I'm willing to move at a loss, if I think I'd be happier in the other place. I love travelling to workshops and exchanges where I get to dance with awesome dancers. It pushes up my skill level, but when I get back, I gradually go back into old habits to compensate for novice follows. I think that if I lived in a place that had many great dancers, I'd be able to have a lot more fun dancing.

I'm somewhat content where I am most of the time, but maybe that's only because I've got a routine. Should I move? Any thoughts? Does anyone else face the same situation?

-Hepcat

 

[bonz]

Repy to should you move Hepcat in General Dance Discussion

Break it down:

1. Family obligations. Elderly parents?
2. Ability to gain employement in big city?
3. Read the career books, 7 Habbits and Who Moved My Cheese.
4. What makes you happiest.
Good luck.

 

[aimerrouge]

You seem to like your life there. On some level, you've probably already decided what you want to do.

If I were in your place, here's what I would ask myself first:

1. Are you in a position to travel regularly for dancing?

2. You said there aren't many people your age around. Are you looking for a romantic relationship as well?

3. Could you have a relationship where you are with someone who didn't dance?

4. How important would it be for them to accept your love and commitment to dancing?

5. How important is my job to my life and my current lifestyle? Could I give it up?

6. Have I idealized what it means to move to another dance scene?

 

[alemana]

i would avoid mass market self-help books, they are written to the lowest common demonimator.

here's my response: no move is 'forever.' i would go for it, in your position. follow your dream. if you don't like it, you don't have to stay. but if you don't do it, you'll regret it for a long time, maybe forever.

many, many people who come to Big Cities don't stay forever. they come and live out their dream of the big city life and the opportunities it provides. eventually, they tire of it or life takes them in a different direction, and they relocate.

if you are healthy, not in terrible debt, have employment prospects - go for it.

 

[africana]

Yes, if there's nothing hold you back

I would take trips to visit cities of interest during non-special events (i.e. no congreses or conventions) to get a good idea of the *real* dance scene, get a feel for the city/area, meet a few people

A friend of mine is thinking about moving to an area with a good dating and dancing scene too she's planning a series of visits, investigating...

 

[liangjz]

hepcat, I'd vote that you go for it.

"I'm somewhat content where I am most of the time" is, in my opinion, far from the ideal way to live.

I think variety and growth potential are two of the key things that make life exciting. And personally, I'd like to think that life is more better when you have something you're really excited about and/or when you can't wait for that event on Monday or that dance you go to on Fridays. For that, it may be worth risking the status quo.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

 

[SalsaAmore]

If it weren't for the job that I love here, I would move to LA in a heartbeat. But, I am an adventurer and traveler at heart. So, many times, I seek change and don't mind a major move. I've lived in New York and London for work and I found it wasn't for me, though, and came home. However, I've visited the dance scene in LA and the number of advanced dancers are times 10 compared to where I am. Maybe living there oppose to visiting would be different, but I wouldn't mind trying it out. Here, I dance with a good number of the advanced dancers, I love them and they are great and are some of the best around. But, it's still limited even in this great city. But, in LA, when you go to happening scenes there are a myriad of advanced dancers to choose from and watch. Professional dancers go to LA and New York in droves, because that's where the work is. I know that I would definitely grow more as a dancer in LA because of the high professional level of standards. I'll probably tire of the scene too there and all it's flashiness. For me, I know I always have my home to come back to if I didn't like it. I love this city and I know I would get rather homesick after a while. But, if I had the opportunity to transfer to LA with my job, I would.

If I were you and I had no real commitments, I would jump to the chance to do it. Maybe something is calling you to this other city you're thinking of and an exciting life is ahead of you there....however, for some it's hard to make the transition, which is understandable and it's difficult to take that step if you are comfortable with where you are. But, you sound like someone who has your heart in dance and have a strong desire to grow, so I would say don't give up that dream and go for it, you can always turn back and go home if it doesn't work out. Best of luck and let us know if you decide to do it!

 

[Spitfire]

Hepcat, is there anything in Albuquerque? I'm guessing you're a Lindy dancer, but Albuquerque has a WCS club though they only meet once a month according to the info I have. Albuquerque is a short drive from Santa Fe.

I just moved to an area in Arizona which is about four or five hours from you. There's certainly no dancing here to speak of and would be happy if there was something even if it only drew 3 couples.

My plan in dealing with the lack of dancing is to make trips to Phoenix or Flagstaff at least once a month and spend some weekends with outdoor activities like hiking and camping. This is good country for that.

And I might just go to Albuquerque on of these weeks to check out the WCS dance.

 

[Sagitta]

To decide look within and without. Listen to intuition - that spiritual faculty the does not explain, but simply points!

 

[hepcat]

Hepcat, is there anything in Albuquerque? I'm guessing you're a Lindy dancer, but Albuquerque has a WCS club though they only meet once a month according to the info I have. Albuquerque is a short drive from Santa Fe.

There's a half-way decent scene in ABQ. It's better than Santa Fe. There's more skilled dancers down there, still virtually none my age. However, I commute to Los Alamos for work. If I were to go down on a weekday, that'd be a 2 hour drive from work. Plus, I live on the north side of Santa Fe to keep my Los Alamos commute down to 35-40 minutes. So even on the weekend, it's over an hour drive to ABQ, but the best day to dance (yes, Lindy) in ABQ is Friday. The drive takes a lot out of you, especially when you face over an hour drive home at midnight. The gas prices aren't helping any either.

Regarding an earlier post, I think that travelling a few times to another scene (when there's not a workshop/event) is a good idea. It might motivate my job hunt if I found a great dance scene. I already sent a CV to a company in Alhambra, CA (a suburb of LA).

One other thing I forgot to mention that's a "plus" for where I am now is I belong to a community wind ensemble. I'm not that good and the group plays challenging stuff (which I like). I doubt I'd have this opportunity elsewhere. Maybe, maybe not.

 

[alemana]

disagree. bigger cities have more of everything - at every level. as an example, where are there as many professional singers than in new york, right? broadway, opera, popular music... so many singers here. so many aspiring singers.

and yet there are community choruses that are truly community (and some of them pretty awful! ) for people who are simply not professionals. i have a couple of friends who sing in them and i get dragged to their shows a couple times a year. same thing goes for musicians in new york - all stripes, all levels.

and as for dancing - there are actually so many places to study salsa, for example, that some of them blatantly specialize in teaching to the middle-road folks, who aren't gunning to become the next frankie martinez or whatever.

 

[cocodrilo]

Sounds like you've got a pretty sweet deal going at the moment.