Should I tell Old teacher about New teacher?

H

HCE

Member
Good morning all, hope you had a nice weekend. This has probably been discussed previously; but I was not able to find the original thread, apologies in advance. Please point me in the right direction, if you can. I hope I explain my situation clearly.

For a few reasons, I am contemplating seeking out another teacher. My old teacher (OT) is very capable and I have learned a lot form her. I would continue to see her; but perhaps cut down the frequency. Lately, I feel like she figures that she's "GOT" me and taking me for granted. For almost two years, I have taken 1 private lesson and several of her group classes once a week. I do not do showcases but am open to competitions. Initially (within 2 months of starting with her), she asked if I would do a showcase, but I told her I wasn't interested. After that she's not approach me about showcase or competition.

I am my own worst critique; but others have told me how much I have improved. And I feel like sometimes, she's using me to "market" her skills and get new students. When we dance together in our private lessons, it seems she's more interested in showing herself off (because I am able to follow her), then making sure I learn the techniques that I've been imploring her to teach me.

Anyway, I found a new teacher in a different studio. Before starting with him (NT), should I discuss with OT and divulge that I am seeking a different perspective?
 
No, I would not. I would want to see if/how things work out with NT first. Because that will be super awkward if they don't, and then the relationship with OT will likely be compromised. As time progresses and you see how things play out, you may make a different decision. I'm a huge proponent of not burning existing bridges until you're safely on the other side.
 
Thanks IndyLady for the wise suggestion. I was going to continue with OT but just cutting down the # of lessons. Yes, I should wait and see.
 
I would ! From the perspective of a teacher: I would like to talk openly with students about their future careers. And from the perspective of a student OT's reaction would be quite instructive, too: if she lets you go without a scene, she really is a good teacher!
 
Thanks Larinda and Opendoor; I appreciate your suggestions which is precisely why I am in this conumdrum. I like OT very much and have developed a good relationship with her; so I would feel terrible going behind her back. As you said, it is a small community. I do think being transparent is the best; even though I hate confrontations. Any suggestions as to how to approach?
 
I glossed over a detail in your first post.... when you say "cut down the frequency", are you referring to her group classes, or to the 1 private/week that you currently take?
 
HSW said:
Thanks Larinda and Opendoor; I appreciate your suggestions which is precisely why I am in this conumdrum. I like OT very much and have developed a good relationship with her; so I would feel terrible going behind her back. As you said, it is a small community. I do think being transparent is the best; even though I hate confrontations. Any suggestions as to how to approach?
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Don't go in expecting a confrontation. Just let her know you appreciate her teaching, you plan to continue with her, and you are also going to be taking lessons from another teacher (in addition to her, not instead of her) for now. More of a "hey, just thought I'd keep you in the loop" type of discussion for tone.

She may take it well, or not. Hopefully she takes it well, and you continue on with your dance journey with both teachers, and make future adjustments as you desire. If she doesn't take it well ... then you may have choices to make. Cross that bridge only if necessary.
 
I glossed over a detail in your first post.... when you say "cut down the frequency", are you referring to her group classes, or to the 1 private/week that you currently take?
Click to expand...

maybe both?

Don't go in expecting a confrontation. Just let her know you appreciate her teaching, you plan to continue with her, and you are also going to be taking lessons from another teacher (in addition to her, not instead of her) for now. More of a "hey, just thought I'd keep you in the loop" type of discussion for tone.
Click to expand...

Thanks Raindance. Very easy going approach; I like it. Hopefully she takes it well. No good in these situations, will need to prepare for all possible outcomes...:confused:
 
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As a person who has sort of done it both ways- you need to be straight up ahead of time with OT. I once was exploring options before I talked to my teacher- he heard about it in about .3 seconds and it got really crappy real fast. Vs when I finally
Left a couple years later and we spoke about it first. Plus- a lot of teachers will want to talk to your former teacher to make sure it’s okay and they aren’t poaching. So you don’t want to have her hear about it fr someone else first.
 
Thanks rels77. How did you approach the second time? What did you say, if you don't mind my asking? I always get tongue-tied in those situations...
 
Most recently I worked at a studio where there were a lot of really good teachers. It was not unusual for students to switch from one teacher to another. Sometimes I would get another teacher student, and sometimes a student would switch from me to another teacher. Overall my feeling was always just that I wanted to be friendly to everyone. I stayed good friends with students who were taking lessons with other teachers and it was no problem at all.

And generally teachers who went around advertising to other teachers students would get a bad reputation so that didn't work too well for them. But I guess overall there was never really a sense of lack or something so all the teachers were pretty happy with their jobs.

And pretty much this is sort of how it goes in Los Angeles and Orange County. People are always moving around and trying different things and it's just normal. I guess there are some more closed Studios like Arthur Murray where the students will stay there for a long time and they don't really go outside of their school as much, so that sort of situation is available too.
 
Does your OT have Multiple students? If so, why can’t you have multiple teachers? Why not be honest—you’re not in a marriage so there’s no sin in
a “fling” or perhaps a “romance” (Speaking metaphorically) with another teacher. Better the OT hear it from you than the grapevine.

You could discover the OT knows you so much better that a NT is pointless—or maybe your life will be enriched by someone new. It would be more difficult if you were planning to break off entirely, but it doesn’t sound like you are. Talk about it!
 
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