*Sigh* I love dancing with you...

thespina13

thespina13

New Member
When you have one of THOSE dances, and you tend to have them with a particular dancer, and you utter either "that was good", or "I love dancing with you" or "thaaaank you", is it a mutual phenomenon most of the time? Is it possible to have "those" dances where it's just YOU having a euphoric time? Or is it, by necessity, a mutual creation where both parties revel in the experience? SOmetimes I wonder if, when I swoon, I'm swooning to a mutually appreciative dancer, or if he's like "meh, that's nice, pretty good for someone who's been dancing as long as you have." I guess it can be either and there are as many different combinations of good/bad experience as there are dancers, but I guess I hope that the Dance is something bigger than the sum of its parts, and that with certain magical people, that state of swoony goodness can be more readily acheived for both of us when we're together.

Why am I even asking this? Am I self-conscious and hoping that when i'm having a good time, that i'm actually dancing well? Good grief. Nah. Can't be. Just making conversation. That's it.
 
I think it's very difficult to know, unless both of you express it.

I remember reading somplace that a woman was so happy after having a salsa fix and she thought it was mutual, and I think the guy didn't even remember her. Something like this.

It's better not to think about it, you'll only get disappointed, just enjoy it when you have it. And if someone really enjoys dancing with you, they'll ask you again.
 
Shooshoo said:
I think it's very difficult to know, unless both of you express it.
It's better not to think about it, you'll only get disappointed, just enjoy it when you have it. And if someone really enjoys dancing with you, they'll ask you again.
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Oh ya totally agree with that!
 
Shooshoo said:
I remember reading somplace that a woman was so happy after having a salsa fix and she thought it was mutual, and I think the guy didn't even remember her.
Click to expand...

Hmm. I was going to say "no, that's not possible", but if there were a big mismatch in experience levels, then I think it could happen. I could see in that case that the less experienced partner might think it was wonderful, while the more experienced partner might think it was rather ordinary (or worse, if he/she had to make a lot of adjustments to accommodate the partner). But that would also depend on what you're looking for and what you think you're going to get out of it.

Between dancers of similar experience levels, I think that's a lot less likely to happen. Chances are such a couple will both have a good feel for whatever connection they have, and if one partner is really grooving, the other is bound to feel it. I personally have never had the experience of dancing with someone at my own level and at the end of the dance hearing her say "Thank you, thank you, that was wonderful!" while I was thinking "That was crap!". I have had the experience of doing a dance where my partner was wonderful while my dancing was crap. And at the end of the dance, even though she thanks me, I walk off knowing that while it was nice, it would have been a lot nicer if I had been better, and I know she thinks the same even though she doesn't say so.

I don't have a feel for whether it makes a difference if you're a lead or a follow. I haven't danced follow enough to have a coherent opinon on that.
 
i think one should be able to tell.. or sense the emotional state of the person they are dancing with.. its part of the connection after all .. part of the vibe .. it gets honed by time if u are open to it..

that said.. the dance may very well have different effects on each of the dancers.. depends on many things relative to each.. i think its a combination of music, dance levels, style and chemistry.. they dont match many a time .. so we just adjust as much as we can..
 
Yeah, I think the two partners' experiences can at times be quite different. I think a good example is... I have danced with men that don't employ SOLELY the standard ON-2 partnerwork/turn patterns. They come up with their own moves... moves I'd describe as ...er... sorta more "freestyle dancer-type" moves... moves that allow me to then interpret things myself, and respond in kind. In other words, there are moments in such dances where I am allowed to do my own interpretation in the partnerwork... where there is no "right or wrong" as there so often is in standard partnerwork. And I really get off on that kind of stuff. I love being able to do more interpretive dancing. But the guy may not necessarily LIKE the way I interpreted it. But I still enjoy myself, even while oblivious to what he may be thinking of my moves... :--)
 
Actually, there's one other thing I thought of, but it's kind of a special case: if the song has a special, private emotional connotation to one of the dancers that the other dancer isn't aware of.
 
cornutt said:
Actually, there's one other thing I thought of, but it's kind of a special case: if the song has a special, private emotional connotation to one of the dancers that the other dancer isn't aware of.
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yeah.. like 'Baby Got Back' for instance.. brings a tear of joy to me eye..
 
If it's someone you already know and often dance with, the sense of euphoria, when it occurs, is likley mutual. You'll realize that because the euphoria doesn't always happen in every dance, but once in a while you 'click' together and you both know it...
 
It's usually easy to know if someone you are dancing with enjoyed it or hated it. The thing is though, you shouldn't care whether or not the other person enjoyed it. I mean, no matter how hard you try, you can't always make them happy. Also, different people like different things. SOme techniques I do make girls hate me, while the same techniques on other girls make them adore me and beg for more. But always enjoy dancing yourself, even if your partner hates it.
 
Hehe.. that's unavoidable. I feel so sorry for some of the leads when I've danced WAY above myself, but had a great time regardless. I see them as having done their civic duty. They're making me better and coming back for more. But also, in situations like this, I don't have a really breathlessly euphoric dance. I'm usually painfully aware during the dance that I'm in over my head or that he's obliging me. The real dances where you're both laughing afterwards or feeling those endorphins coursing through your veins, are the instances, I think, where something really special has happened and you're both totally happy. And yes, these tend to be the regular, repeat partners.

Whenever I can tell someone didn't care for the dance, I just think "that's ok. Gimme a year." And then I'll knock his socks off. And if I don't, thats ok too, cuz I'll likely have a trail of breathless admirers behind me in my wake :p . What's one little dissenter?
 
Shooshoo said:
I remember reading somplace that a woman was so happy after having a salsa fix and she thought it was mutual, and I think the guy didn't even remember her. Something like this.
Click to expand...

I have a problem remembering people's names though, so I sort of don't agree with what you have said. Although, I do remember their faces when I see them the next time around. It's especially hard when the studio is packed, and you dance with a bunch of new beginners. It takes me a good month or so before I get to know them all.

But back to the topic, I think that you either have chemistry or you don't. There are a few guys that I have chemistry with that I absolutely adore, and you can feel that they feel the same about you. However, I think that with some I do enjoy dancing with, but there just isn't that chemistry. This doesn't mean that I won't dance with them again, but I probably didn't have the same feelings as they did about the dance.
 
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