Dear friends:
My performance with my teacher is next Tuesday, and I'm getting really nervous -- my lesson went well last night, but when Felix asked me to dance towards the end of the evening at the milonga, I couldn't dance worth dog poop. I'm hoping it was just because I was tired -- I've been driving my body pretty hard for the last, I don't know, two or three months maybe, and I'm feeling pretty exhausted. My right foot hurts so much I can barely dance sometimes, and after a couple hours of hard dancing, all the muscles in my feet, ankles, and lower legs start aching -- all the muscles I use for tondue, jumps, and going on high half toe in ballet, which are the same muscles I use for tango. I felt like I just couldn't "engage" my body properly, no matter now hard I tried, nor could I carry my back and shoulders properly. I'm hoping it's just me being physically exhausted from too much work and not enough sleep, and not me making excuses and being lazy, because I can cure the first by taking it easy and getting some rest, but the only cure for the second is to work even harder. I'm kinda scared my technique isn't going to be there next Tuesday, and I'm going to fall flat on my face in front of all my friends. I gotta shake off this funk somehow. Bottom line, I didn't feel like I was dancing very well last night, which always puts me into a bad mood the next day.
You guys were so encouraging to me last month. As usual, I'm psyching myself out with these stupid mindgames. Is it possible to exhaust oneself by over training before an important event? Or am I just making excuses? Felix was no help last night -- just started giving me grief about my shoes again. I also think I've not been eating right -- my daily routine has changed because of starting a new job in January, and getting things back under control and in balance has been hard. I've been pushing hard on the weight loss again, which is also very hard on my body. The added ballet classes are leaving me just exhausted, and then I've been dancing my tango so hard during the week that Monday night, when Felix had to cancel my lesson (he had a bad charlie horse in his leg), it actually felt good to go home, have a mud mask, and go to bed early and SLEEP. I'm pretty sure this should be a "no-brainer," but when I'm this sleep deprived, my judgment center kind of shuts down (should I get up and go to the ladies' room now, or should I not -- can't decide). It must be physical exhaustion. I feel ready to cry right now -- over nothing -- and that's usually a good sign I'm too worn out. Can't tell though. One thing that helped me, I think, in San Diego, was that Felix got sick the week before, and cancelled all my lessons. Plus, being in SD meant I had a break from the ballet classes -- just my own workout for one hour a day, and one (easy) tango class per day. The rest and quiet, I think, helped.
My stomach's still bothering me -- too much coffee, I think, but maybe it's just nerves. I can't have more than two cups a day anymore, because I really start feeling sick to my stomach if I do.
Am I merely looking for "permission" to take a break? Can't tell anymore.
Renee
My performance with my teacher is next Tuesday, and I'm getting really nervous -- my lesson went well last night, but when Felix asked me to dance towards the end of the evening at the milonga, I couldn't dance worth dog poop. I'm hoping it was just because I was tired -- I've been driving my body pretty hard for the last, I don't know, two or three months maybe, and I'm feeling pretty exhausted. My right foot hurts so much I can barely dance sometimes, and after a couple hours of hard dancing, all the muscles in my feet, ankles, and lower legs start aching -- all the muscles I use for tondue, jumps, and going on high half toe in ballet, which are the same muscles I use for tango. I felt like I just couldn't "engage" my body properly, no matter now hard I tried, nor could I carry my back and shoulders properly. I'm hoping it's just me being physically exhausted from too much work and not enough sleep, and not me making excuses and being lazy, because I can cure the first by taking it easy and getting some rest, but the only cure for the second is to work even harder. I'm kinda scared my technique isn't going to be there next Tuesday, and I'm going to fall flat on my face in front of all my friends. I gotta shake off this funk somehow. Bottom line, I didn't feel like I was dancing very well last night, which always puts me into a bad mood the next day.
You guys were so encouraging to me last month. As usual, I'm psyching myself out with these stupid mindgames. Is it possible to exhaust oneself by over training before an important event? Or am I just making excuses? Felix was no help last night -- just started giving me grief about my shoes again. I also think I've not been eating right -- my daily routine has changed because of starting a new job in January, and getting things back under control and in balance has been hard. I've been pushing hard on the weight loss again, which is also very hard on my body. The added ballet classes are leaving me just exhausted, and then I've been dancing my tango so hard during the week that Monday night, when Felix had to cancel my lesson (he had a bad charlie horse in his leg), it actually felt good to go home, have a mud mask, and go to bed early and SLEEP. I'm pretty sure this should be a "no-brainer," but when I'm this sleep deprived, my judgment center kind of shuts down (should I get up and go to the ladies' room now, or should I not -- can't decide). It must be physical exhaustion. I feel ready to cry right now -- over nothing -- and that's usually a good sign I'm too worn out. Can't tell though. One thing that helped me, I think, in San Diego, was that Felix got sick the week before, and cancelled all my lessons. Plus, being in SD meant I had a break from the ballet classes -- just my own workout for one hour a day, and one (easy) tango class per day. The rest and quiet, I think, helped.
My stomach's still bothering me -- too much coffee, I think, but maybe it's just nerves. I can't have more than two cups a day anymore, because I really start feeling sick to my stomach if I do.
Am I merely looking for "permission" to take a break? Can't tell anymore.
Renee
