Social dancer v medals dancer

A

Alora

Member
Hello there

I’ve been learning ballroom dancing for several years but more seriously in the last 2 years and am taking my ballroom medals. I’ve been partnered by my dance school with a female dancer who leads because I’m taking my exams as a follow. She is a social dancer and, prior to partnering me has not had any formal lessons as a lead but comes to my private lessons to help me with my exams but it’s helped her to learn to lead. She was a social dancer as a follow and had had several partners before me. We’ve got on pretty well, we go to dance practice and classes together and she always leads. My teacher keeps an eye on me. She did say to me a couple of months ago that my standards were slipp(mg to that of a social dancer and that I should remember that I’m taking exams. I did ‘up my game’ and work hard to get better.

We have three teachers and they always give my dance partner and me feedback and I’m really enjoying learning ballroom and want to get better,

My partner is a salsa dancer and does tend lead me in a ‘relaxed style’ which I’ve learnt to adapt to and she’s doesn’t follow routines which is challenging at times. There are not many leads at the school so I’m lucky to have a lead to dance and practice with. I have asked her if she’d teach me to lead but there was no response and the teachers do tell my lead to swap roles but she ignores them mostly as she prefers to lead.

I signed up with my school to learn to lead as a beginner and it’s been a bit of a revelation! I’ve been taught the basics properly and, not only that, there is several spare beginner leads to dance with too as a follow. I’ve learnt so much in the short time I’ve been in the beginner’s class, I should have gone back to the beginners as follow 2 years ago.

My dance partner and me are in the intermediate and advanced class but I feel we are not good enough to be in the advanced class really.

I’m beginning to realise that my dance partner is not a good lead as she’s not leant the basics…such as how hold hands as a lead, precision of movement, timing which I’m learning. I’ve asked if she would come to the beginners class with me but she refused sys8mg she goes elsewhere. She leads another female at another school and teaches salsa classes.

My teacher did say to me that my partner prefers to lead because she’s not as an experienced follow as I am!

I’m in a bit of quandary about what do about this.

I do need a lead but one that knows the basics but I figured that if I lead I’ll always have a follow to dance with as there is more follows at the school. I’m not sure I want to continue this dance partnership if she is not prepared to lean the basics of ballroom. She wants lesrn all the advanced steps but is a hard lead to follow and she is making me look a bad dancer.

I’m thinking of speaking to my teacher but I think she’d say that there are no other leads to dance with and that I could learn to lead…
 
Alora said:
Hello there

I’ve been learning ballroom dancing for several years but more seriously in the last 2 years and am taking my ballroom medals. I’ve been partnered by my dance school with a female dancer who leads because I’m taking my exams as a follow. She is a social dancer and, prior to partnering me has not had any formal lessons as a lead but comes to my private lessons to help me with my exams but it’s helped her to learn to lead. She was a social dancer as a follow and had had several partners before me. We’ve got on pretty well, we go to dance practice and classes together and she always leads. My teacher keeps an eye on me. She did say to me a couple of months ago that my standards were slipp(mg to that of a social dancer and that I should remember that I’m taking exams. I did ‘up my game’ and work hard to get better.

We have three teachers and they always give my dance partner and me feedback and I’m really enjoying learning ballroom and want to get better,

My partner is a salsa dancer and does tend lead me in a ‘relaxed style’ which I’ve learnt to adapt to and she’s doesn’t follow routines which is challenging at times. There are not many leads at the school so I’m lucky to have a lead to dance and practice with. I have asked her if she’d teach me to lead but there was no response and the teachers do tell my lead to swap roles but she ignores them mostly as she prefers to lead.

I signed up with my school to learn to lead as a beginner and it’s been a bit of a revelation! I’ve been taught the basics properly and, not only that, there is several spare beginner leads to dance with too as a follow. I’ve learnt so much in the short time I’ve been in the beginner’s class, I should have gone back to the beginners as follow 2 years ago.

My dance partner and me are in the intermediate and advanced class but I feel we are not good enough to be in the advanced class really.

I’m beginning to realise that my dance partner is not a good lead as she’s not leant the basics…such as how hold hands as a lead, precision of movement, timing which I’m learning. I’ve asked if she would come to the beginners class with me but she refused sys8mg she goes elsewhere. She leads another female at another school and teaches salsa classes.

My teacher did say to me that my partner prefers to lead because she’s not as an experienced follow as I am!

I’m in a bit of quandary about what do about this.

I do need a lead but one that knows the basics but I figured that if I lead I’ll always have a follow to dance with as there is more follows at the school. I’m not sure I want to continue this dance partnership if she is not prepared to lean the basics of ballroom. She wants lesrn all the advanced steps but is a hard lead to follow and she is making me look a bad dancer.

I’m thinking of speaking to my teacher but I think she’d say that there are no other leads to dance with and that I could learn to lead…
Click to expand...
Is dancing with your instructor for the Medal/Proficiency test an option?
When I did Medal tests, I danced with my instructor. Most of us did. Those that danced student-student were actual partners, usually a married couple.
 
Yes I can with do that which I prefer. The idea was that I’d have someone to practice the exam steps with but quite frankly I’m better prscting on my own
 
Thank you. I’m taking a silver medal in Viennese waltz, waltz and foxtrot.

I guess there’s nothing I can do about my dance partner’s lack of dancing skills - which she would have had if she’d taken exams or gone back to basics….
 
Alora said:
..I’m beginning to realise that my dance partner is not a good lead as she’s not leant the basics…
Click to expand...
I seem to recall you were at this point about two years ago. I wouldn't have thought you could hold out for so long, She's quite a unique personality, and everyone involved will see your current dance partnership as an expensive compromise. Now learning to lead will be liberating for you. You'll remain present at your dance school. And perhaps, just maybe, this will even lead to a dance partnership where you can follow. Good luck!
 
Alora said:
Yes I can do that which I prefer. The idea was that I’d have someone to practice the exam steps with but quite frankly I’m better practicing on my own
Click to expand...
A while ago, I set up practice sessions with someone who told me he knew the syllabus. I needed someone to help me practice the lead's part, as I was thinking of taking the Associate's exam and need to know both parts. He agreed to help. We met at the studio and pulled out our books got all ready to work, and I took the lead's position for the natural turn in Waltz and he said WTTE of I don't know the lady's part, I'm not going to do that.

I walked off the floor, put my book away, started to change my shoes. He panicked and said ok, ok, I'll try.

I do not recommend this as a technique for studying the syllabus: partnering with someone who talks a good story about having solid knowledge but actually doesn't know zip.

TL/DR: walk away.

PS: if I could take your beginner lead's class, I would!
 
You're attempting silver level without completing bronze? A lot of red flags here, a lot like j's post.
You didn't mention which syllabus and teacher organization you're using. You need to get a copy of the syllabus and figure out for yourself where you stand.
If you were successful as a leader at the (Bronze 1? Bronze 2? full Bronze?) level, two years is a long time to be working on silver for only 3 dances. How many others are working on medals? How often does the studio schedule medal tests?
 
I’ve already done my bronze and bronze bar exams .

My teachers are qualified to set exams and the syllabus which they are teaching the classes.

What do you mean about red flags?

I did my exams as a follow not as a leader.

I’ve not taken 2 years to do my silver exam I started working this exam late 2025 and will take it may 2026 and my silver bar in November 2026.

I’ve been dancing for several years but started doing it seriously for the last 2 years.

There are 10 other people in thd school working on exams

The medial tests are scheduled every May and November each year.

I just came to the forum to try and solve a problem that I have with a dance partner.
 
If your dance goal are to be a medal dancer and take exams, you do need a like minded partner - whether it be a student, experienced AM or an instructor. It's more challenging to do your part with precision, if your lead is not attempting (or simply doesn't know how) do their part with precision. Medals require a certain level of precision.

If you just want to dance ballroom for the fun and joy of social dancing, you have a great partnership for that!

You know what you have to do based on what you want out of your dance journey. And perhaps it's find the money to pay the instructor to take your exams with you, if no other trained lead options are available.
 
I am paying for an instructor whom I have lessons with every other week.

I’ve been put with this person because there are no other leads and we’ve been dancing together about 8 months. At first it was fine but as my dance partner got better at leading she started correcting my steps, my arms, where I stand - it’s gradually got worse so it was happening every lesson. I’ve told her stop many times but she still does it she just can’t help herself.

She is a salsa dancer and leads in a relaxed style which is hard to follow. She is also a social dancer and has no formal lessons since joining my school u months ago.

I feel very patronised by her and resent it as I’m the one with that has passed dance exams. I think she feels superior to me. I suggest some new moves to try but her response is to go to the teachers for clarification. She talks about me to our teachers which I resent

I’m her 5th dance partner.

I wouldn’t say she is fun to dance with but we have a working relationship/
 
I’m wondering – is it possible that she feels threatened because you’ve become more proficient than she is in Ballroom? So, maybe she’s trying to convince herself that knows more than she actually does by “leadsplaining” to you? In any event, it sounds as though your practice-partnership has run its course.

I totally understand that it isn’t ideal to practice solo, but, for me, I’d prefer to practice solo than to be distracted by a partner that I was beginning to resent.

Good luck with your exams!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top