Social Dancing - People Who Ignore You at the Start

[waltzguy]

Yes that was a good read, Derek.

 

[dance.student.rich]

Attitude

I don't look at it in a negative way. I look at the change in attitude as a milestone. People who did not like me the first time are now eager to dance with me. I have improved myself so that I can dance at their level. Each milestone opens me up to a greater range of potential partners. It would be petty of me to look at it as vengence as everyone just wants to have an enjoyable time.

If you want to add a little ribbing, you can do so in a joking manner. (e.g. "Remember when I first dance with you..."?) Then the two of you can have a hearty laugh about it.

I applaud your attitude. :notworth::notworth::notworth:

 

[snapdancer]

I try to dance with a variety of people, dancing both "up" and "down". Sometimes I can improve my lead dancing with someone less experienced, maybe I'm doing something wrong that a more experienced dancer or one who took a class with me is compensating for.

I even take chances with rank beginners, people I've never seen before. Some of these ladies while new are natural dancers and will soon be better than me if they stick with it. Or maybe they're visiting and already are better than I am. And it's a way to "pay it forward" now that I'm less bad than I used to be. There have been more experienced ladies in the past who suffered with me as I was coming along.

The ladies I don't like to dance with and may ignore are some of the ones who are more "experienced" -- the competition dancers who take off on their own and don't follow. I'd rather dance with a less experienced dancer who's at least trying to follow.

 

[megeliz]

As for the OP, I don't hold it against guys who wouldn't dance with me when I started out, because honestly, I don't remember! The only ones that I really hold a grudge against aren't the ones who've turned me down, but are the ones that have been rude to me when we danced. There are guys still today that either won't dance with me, or will only dance with me under certain circumstances...I don't hold it against them, I just either don't ask them and wait for them to ask me when they're in the mood, or only ask them at the times I know they're likely to accept - and enjoy dancing with them when they do, and take their accepting/asking me more as a sign of improvement on my part.

As far as the later conversation goes, I don't hold anything against the above guys, because I can be just like them, although for probably different reasons. I admittedly can be a dance snob, but it usually is more connected to my own dancing than theirs. If I'm having a good night dancing, I'll dance with just about anyone. If I'm having an off night though (or an off MONTH...), and I'm having trouble dancing with guys that I almost always dance well with...I'm not going to want to take my chances with someone I don't know, or someone I know to have issues that negatively affect my dance (for example, the guy that I have to work to stay on balance with on a good night, I'm not going to want to dance with when I'm falling out of balance on simple turns with good leaders). When I'm having an off night, the only people I really want to dance with are my friends and the ones that I know won't throw me off.

As far as guys that I generally don't dance with, it's not the beginners I have a problem with - I'll even often seek them out...it's the "experienced" ones that have been dancing for years, aren't good leaders, and never improve (and usually think they're hot s**t too!) - and have copped an attitude with me at some point.

 

[Dream314]

People who wouldn't want to dance with me bc they don't know me or bc they don't think I'm good enough are people I avoid like the plague. The reason is bc their actions tell me at the core who they are as a person. Dancing is communication and I choose to 'communicate' with people who easy going, especially if it is a social setting.

 

[Ray Sison]

As for the OP, I don't hold it against guys who wouldn't dance with me when I started out, because honestly, I don't remember! The only ones that I really hold a grudge against aren't the ones who've turned me down, but are the ones that have been rude to me when we danced. There are guys still today that either won't dance with me, or will only dance with me under certain circumstances...I don't hold it against them, I just either don't ask them and wait for them to ask me when they're in the mood, or only ask them at the times I know they're likely to accept - and enjoy dancing with them when they do, and take their accepting/asking me more as a sign of improvement on my part.

As far as the later conversation goes, I don't hold anything against the above guys, because I can be just like them, although for probably different reasons. I admittedly can be a dance snob, but it usually is more connected to my own dancing than theirs. If I'm having a good night dancing, I'll dance with just about anyone. If I'm having an off night though (or an off MONTH...), and I'm having trouble dancing with guys that I almost always dance well with...I'm not going to want to take my chances with someone I don't know, or someone I know to have issues that negatively affect my dance (for example, the guy that I have to work to stay on balance with on a good night, I'm not going to want to dance with when I'm falling out of balance on simple turns with good leaders). When I'm having an off night, the only people I really want to dance with are my friends and the ones that I know won't throw me off.

As far as guys that I generally don't dance with, it's not the beginners I have a problem with - I'll even often seek them out...it's the "experienced" ones that have been dancing for years, aren't good leaders, and never improve (and usually think they're hot s**t too!) - and have copped an attitude with me at some point.

Everything here is very well said, because it touches upon a lot of the different issues. Including that things can change over time, including perceptions on both sides...