Stick a Fork in me, ...
- Thread starter DWise1
- Start date
chachachacat
Well-Known Member
CONGRATULATIONS!
And so it is truly a New Year for YOU!
And so it is truly a New Year for YOU!
This is a real milestone, and can set up a lot of conflicting feelings. So, I'm not saying I'm either happy or unhappy for you... but at least now, you can move on. 
The rest of your life is out there and though it might seem a scary prospect (don't I know it! :roll: ) freedom is always better than servitude.
Rosa
The rest of your life is out there and though it might seem a scary prospect (don't I know it! :roll: ) freedom is always better than servitude.
Rosa
Indiana_Jay
Active Member
DWise1 said:
Well, congratulations and/or sympathy as you deem appropriate. In any case, I find it annoying that it took so long for you to get the official word. I'd be pretty angry to find out I'd been officially divorced for so many weeks without knowing it!
Grace and Peace,
J
fascination
Site Moderator
I just wish you a happy new chapter
Swingolder
New Member
You mean no one bothered to tell you?
Congratulations, anyway. It is part of the past now.
Congratulations, anyway. It is part of the past now.
SDsalsaguy
Administrator
Ditto! All the best!fascination said:
Boynextdoor
New Member
I'm wondering if every person involved with the justice system is plain slow or what...
And what's the deal with family court judges all hating children?
Anyways, yeah.... Good vibes to you!
And what's the deal with family court judges all hating children?
Anyways, yeah.... Good vibes to you!
cornutt
Forum Master
Swingolder said:
I think that's typical. You don't know until you receive the papers. When I divorced my first wife, it took three weeks after the divorce was final before I got the paperwork. They don't bother to tell anyone.
And I think that it sucks that the judge, having taken that much time, couldn't wait a few more days before signing the papers. That means you'll have to file as single on your takes this year.
Sorry about that.
DWise1
Well-Known Member
cornutt said:I think that's typical. You don't know until you receive the papers. When I divorced my first wife, it took three weeks after the divorce was final before I got the paperwork. They don't bother to tell anyone.
And I think that it sucks that the judge, having taken that much time, couldn't wait a few more days before signing the papers. That means you'll have to file as single on your takes this year.
Actually, filing as single is better than "married filing separately". Filing jointly would have been out of the question because 1) our finances have been completely separate since end of December 2004, and 2) we were deadlocked for more than half the year before we could arrive at an agreement over splitting the refund checks.
Here's the story:
The divorce was filed on 28 Dec and some time after that my copy was sent to my lawyer's. In his office it's just him and his secretary. His secretary's father has been very ill for the past few years battling cancer and he died at about the time they received my copy, so she was out-of-state dealing with that. Apparently, they both thought that the other had taken care of notifying me and I got dropped through the cracks.
The way I finally found out was first thing Monday morning when I kept my doctor's appointment and they informed me that my coverage had been terminated (she had always carried me on her insurance because I changed jobs more often than she). That leaves me without coverage, but our HR person was able to talk HQ into getting me on their plan immediately, so I should have coverage in a few days.
Now here's the weird thing that I still don't understand. In talking with so many people who had been going through a divorce, most of them had an effective date, usually a month or two in the future, when the divorce would become final. And yet my case and a few others was that it would become final as soon as the judge signed it and the court filed it, and nobody could possibly predict when that would be. And all of these were in the same state (Calif) and hence under the same laws and courts, so why would they be so different?
In other news, our son is getting married tomorrow. He called to tell me that they'd just gotten their license and I asked him shouldn't they have issued them a learner's permit first? Tomorrow will be a legal ceremony so that she'll be covered by his benefits when they move back out here in another month or two, then they'll have the regular ceremony in August as they had planned.
Reminds me of my in-laws' wedding in Mexico City. First they were married legally by a state official and then a day or two later they had a church wedding. That night after the legal ceremony, he tried his luck by pointing out that they were married, after all, but she insisted, tough, not until the church wedding.
fascination
Site Moderator
PY--I am charging you for forgery.....(not to highjack or anything)....and best wishes to your son, Dwisepygmalion said:I wish you all the best on the next chapter of your life, DWise1.
Plagiarism? Eh. Mea culpa. You said it well, so why should I attempt to reinvent the wheel?
And what gives with the son's wedding, DWise1? What's his deal? How dare he forgo the months of excruciating planning, the family squabbles with the in-laws-to-be, and the crippling expense? Doesn't he know those are time-honored American traditions? :wink: :lol:
Oh yeah, and, btw, he and his new bride have my congratulations and best wishes.
And what gives with the son's wedding, DWise1? What's his deal? How dare he forgo the months of excruciating planning, the family squabbles with the in-laws-to-be, and the crippling expense? Doesn't he know those are time-honored American traditions? :wink: :lol:
Oh yeah, and, btw, he and his new bride have my congratulations and best wishes.
DWise1
Well-Known Member
Thank you all for your well-wishing.
Yes, I just want to be as completely rid of her as possible. It's like my wife died years ago and was replaced by this despicable person I don't know. But at the same time, I've been feeling down last night and today. Even during the separation I had some kind of direction to my life, but now I'm just completely adrift.
Rather, I'll be going to a rumba class followed by a quickstep class. Same thing next Wed, but then right after that I'll be going to our Lindy venue where one of our favorite swing bands will be playing.
Monday night, right after all this was just starting to go down and I suspected that the divorce had been final for some time (not confirmed nor a date given until the following afternoon), my WCS teacher (part of a party-happy crowd that formed the core of our dance cruise) said I needed to have a "whoo-hoo!" party to celebrate. I think I was able to duck out of that evolution by pointing out that I was most likely single during the cruise, so that was my "whoo-hoo!" party (I didn't tell you about my reputation as "the guy with the harem" nor their kidding me about the pole dancing ["But I wasn't anywhere near that pole!" "David, you were the pole!" And far too late, I thought of the perfect rejoinder: "But in WCS it's the man's job to be the pole."]).
Rosa said:
Yes, I just want to be as completely rid of her as possible. It's like my wife died years ago and was replaced by this despicable person I don't know. But at the same time, I've been feeling down last night and today. Even during the separation I had some kind of direction to my life, but now I'm just completely adrift.
cornutt said:
Rather, I'll be going to a rumba class followed by a quickstep class. Same thing next Wed, but then right after that I'll be going to our Lindy venue where one of our favorite swing bands will be playing.
Monday night, right after all this was just starting to go down and I suspected that the divorce had been final for some time (not confirmed nor a date given until the following afternoon), my WCS teacher (part of a party-happy crowd that formed the core of our dance cruise) said I needed to have a "whoo-hoo!" party to celebrate. I think I was able to duck out of that evolution by pointing out that I was most likely single during the cruise, so that was my "whoo-hoo!" party (I didn't tell you about my reputation as "the guy with the harem" nor their kidding me about the pole dancing ["But I wasn't anywhere near that pole!" "David, you were the pole!" And far too late, I thought of the perfect rejoinder: "But in WCS it's the man's job to be the pole."]).