stuck in beginner class after 1 year!

[aaah]

Help me I still suck at this after 1 year of classes.
When I take advanced beginner class I do well, understand the material and feel confident.
but when I take the intermediate class afterwards mostly I am lost and feel panicky this causes
my allergies to get worse, I feel less confident and gravitate to the undesirable lady partners.

Second problem I have bad allergies year round some days worse then others, at yesterdays intermediate lesson I almost dripped on my rotation partner. I was terrified but how could I let go of her to blow my nose. I did not know what to do and the instructor came up to us at that exact moment. I was terrified on what to do. take a chance on a drip or let go of her to blow.
I felt so bad afet class I did not stay for pratica but went to buger king to stuff my face feeling like a dance failure.

 

[fascination]

claritan....hang in there...rome wasn't built in a day

 

[FatBaldGuy60]

It sounds like your problem is not dance, it is confidence. The food as comfort thing is not productive. Please don't take this negatively, but have you discussed this with your doctor? Confidence/anxiety issues can be related to depression.

My DW was diagnosed a number of years ago with depression, and she had major issues with self-esteem and confidence, anxiety attacks, etc. It took some time to get to the right medication, but the difference before/after is very noticeable. Not to say she does not have bad days from time to time, but nothing like before. She finally has gotten to the point where she knows she will take this medication for the rest of her life, and that depression is not an indictment of her, just a condition she has to deal with.

Best of luck, and keep plugging away.

FBG

 

[Heather2007]

Help me I still suck at this after 1 year of classes.
When I take advanced beginner class I do well, understand the material and feel confident.
but when I take the intermediate class afterwards mostly I am lost and feel panicky this causes
my allergies to get worse, I feel less confident and gravitate to the undesirable lady partners.

I felt so bad afet class I did not stay for pratica but went to buger king to stuff my face feeling like a dance failure.

It's all in the head. Your think it's going to be like walking on hot coal and so to your conscious mind you're walking on hot coal. Stick with the Intermediate Level. You may not turn out to be as good as....but it doesn't matter. Your goodness is within you. View this whole learning to dance tango stuff like this: It's not a Sophie's Choice moment. You're not having to choose between one life and that of another. It's just dancing. A recreation. A social passtime. Nothing that will put the Middle East Peace Process back a decade. Only dancing. Maintain a sense of humour throughout and always remain open to good advice. You will get the odd remark (that is guaranteed as most tend to make others feel like a failure only to mask their own insecurities - in all walks/situations - but that's life and just laugh at it).

Hope that helps.

 

[Tanguera]

For the allergies you should ask a doctor: if you have problems all year round, you could consider to see an allergist and ask him about a vaccine (I don't know if the word "vaccine" is appropriate here: I'm talking about drops to take each day made expecially for you after you take a specific allergy test). It can really change your life for better.

 

[Steve Pastor]

For the allergies...
If you have tired a number of over the counter medications, and they haven't worked or have unpleasent side effects, by all means talk to a physician. Flonasse worked for me, and it it now available in geneic form and is farily inexpensive. Please make sure to mention generics if cost is an issue.
Regarding the confidence issue...
Growth involves stretching yourself and there can be a certain amount of discomfort involved. It seems to me that as we get older most people become less willing to put themselves in a position where it is clear that they don't know how to do something. That is why so many people don't continue to grow in life. They just settle into their confort zone.
How about this one?
The harder the task, the greater the reward.

P.S. My consolation is usually micro brewed beer

 

[aaah]

It's all in the head. Your think it's going to be like walking on hot coal and so to your conscious mind you're walking on hot coal. Stick with the Intermediate Level. You may not turn out to be as good as....but it doesn't matter. Your goodness is within you. View this whole learning to dance tango stuff like this: It's not a Sophie's Choice moment. You're not having to choose between one life and that of another. It's just dancing. A recreation. A social passtime. Nothing that will put the Middle East Peace Process back a decade. Only dancing. Maintain a sense of humour throughout and always remain open to good advice. You will get the odd remark (that is guaranteed as most tend to make others feel like a failure only to mask their own insecurities - in all walks/situations - but that's life and just laugh at it).

Hope that helps.

Thanks I think that approach will help me. I'm not making peace in the Middle east its just a recreation.

 

[aaah]

For the allergies you should ask a doctor: if you have problems all year round, you could consider to see an allergist and ask him about a vaccine (I don't know if the word "vaccine" is appropriate here: I'm talking about drops to take each day made expecially for you after you take a specific allergy test). It can really change your life for better.

Thank you I will pursue this again. Saw one about 3 years ago. Worrying about nasal drip is just incompatible with holding a partner and trying to learn.

 

[aaah]

For the allergies...
If you have tired a number of over the counter medications, and they haven't worked or have unpleasent side effects, by all means talk to a physician. Flonasse worked for me, and it it now available in geneic form and is farily inexpensive. Please make sure to mention generics if cost is an issue.
Regarding the confidence issue...
Growth involves stretching yourself and there can be a certain amount of discomfort involved. It seems to me that as we get older most people become less willing to put themselves in a position where it is clear that they don't know how to do something. That is why so many people don't continue to grow in life. They just settle into their confort zone.
How about this one?
The harder the task, the greater the reward.

P.S. My consolation is usually micro brewed beer

Thanks for the good words. Beer won't work for allergic to it.

 

[bordertangoman]

hmm big-stick-that-we-beat-ourselves-up-with syndrome> you are not the only one.
I see lots of people get frustrated with their progress, but mine was painfully slow, but you wouldn't know it. Confidence comes with practice and faking it occasionally.

PS use a smaller stick

 

[kieronneedscake]

I am allergic to some ladies' perfumes or hairspray or something. Sneezing mid-dance is a bit of a mood-killer.

Tip for a ruddy dose:

Handkerchief in trouser pocket on left side, maintain the right half your embrace and release your left arm. Grab hanky, dab nose (probably best not to honk in her face), return hanky to pocket, restore embrace. If you get good at it, you'll not even have to stop dancing! It is also sometimes productive to practice with only half your embrace. The trick is to act like there's nothing wrong, and to not break contact with your partner.

Muttering something about allergies might also help to let your partner know you are not bearing the plague, which will not help her relax into your arms.

 

[pascal]

We had a follower allergic to cats in our class, she had to find another class because two cats are living in this studio and they keep wandering wherever they like, sometimes running around the dance floor.

It's strange that there is such a gap between the beginner and intermediate class, I'd thought the teacher would begin his intermediate class of this year at the very point where he ended his beginner class of last year.

And yes, don't procrastinate by going to the beginner class year after year after year, becoming an A.T leader is a long process for everyone, don't make it longer.

 

[delamusica]

Handkerchief in trouser pocket on left side, maintain the right half your embrace and release your left arm. Grab hanky, dab nose (probably best not to honk in her face), return hanky to pocket, restore embrace. If you get good at it, you'll not even have to stop dancing! It is also sometimes productive to practice with only half your embrace. The trick is to act like there's nothing wrong, and to not break contact with your partner.

Muttering something about allergies might also help to let your partner know you are not bearing the plague, which will not help her relax into your arms.

This is good advice.

 

[etp777]

Indeed, one I'm making note of myself, and wish I had about a month ago, allergies have been bad lately. I'll generally excuse myself from floor and go blow nose, but during privates esp, feel like I'm wasting money and time.

 

[delamusica]

Although, now that I've thought about it, I wouldn't want you to use your left hand. Break the embrace and use your right hand. (You know - the one I don't have to hold.) It's ok to miss a measure or so of dancing.