The Great Partner-Hunt...

[Fizzipop]

Being a follower, I'm all too acquainted with the pain of searching for the rare unpaired male of the dancing variety. I've never hunted for a partner before outside of university; there it was made easier by weekly practices and close proximity. I had the luck to only need launch a full-scale search once back then... even then it was really unsuccessful, and in the end I only found a partner through sheer luck (a team-mate whose partner dropped out)!

Now I've been out in the in bad world for almost 2 years, horrendously out of practice (also a little out of shape, and out of sorts), but am aching to find someone to brush up with (with a view to compete in future). But because my goals are quite fuzzy, and I'm not really all that picky, I could really do with some advice.

I've contacted a few people on free 'partner wanted' boards and the like, but could do with your advice:

- How can you tell when you've found the right partner? What do you look for?
- Do you contact several people and do tryouts simultaneously in the hope that one of them stick? In which case, what do you do if a few of them seem right?
- Or just one at a time, but run the risk of 'the right one' being snapped up by someone else?
- I'm not currently taking lessons, and there's a shocking lack of cheap socials around - how do you stage a 'tryout'?

Thanks in advance...

 

[waltzguy]

Good questions. However, I don't think there's any one correct answer. It's analogous to dating. There's really no one right approach for a guy to ask out a girl (or vice versa although rare).

In the context of ballroom dance, in the past, I asked, and I got.

Perhaps there are old threads on this topic too.

 

[LovingIt28]

Good questions and good luck

I think you answered yourself though. You have fuzzy requirements so how cna you know who/what is right

So try and refine your goals and your timeline. Improve your dancing as much as you can in the meantime. Some people believe that if you know what you want then it will happen. Some other methods could be to dance as much as you can whilst telling people your goals. Hopefully you will meet someone who shares them (or knows someone who does).

Hope that helps

 

[Joe]

Do tryouts with as many people as you can interest. It may be one, it may be ten. Trying them out back-to-back will make it easier for you to compare and contrast the way the dancing feels with each.

 

[Wolfgang]

If she has trouble finding a partner in London, England, what chance do we have?:sad:

 

[suburbaknght]

If she has trouble finding a partner in London, England, what chance do we have?:sad:

As much as you're willing to make. Read the threads on this topic and you'll see that almost all the successful partnerships were the result of a pro-active approach: going to dances, taking classes at competitive studios, asking people to tryout, and risking rejection. The natural odds are not phenomenal, but it is one of those areas where you can make your own luck.

 

[dlgodud]

As much as you're willing to make. Read the threads on this topic and you'll see that almost all the successful partnerships were the result of a pro-active approach: going to dances, taking classes at competitive studios, asking people to tryout, and risking rejection. The natural odds are not phenomenal, but it is one of those areas where you can make your own luck.

Right. We are sometimes too afraid of being rejected.

 

[Memory]

If she has trouble finding a partner in London, England, what chance do we have?:sad:

Well on the positive side I can say with certainty that there are single dancing men in London. I'm one for a start. However being an unattached leader in the area and being the right unattached leader in the area are two completely different things.

That and I have absolutely no interest in competing so I guess that puts me out of the running.

But good luck finding someone Fizzipop.

Memory

 

[Fizzipop]

Hehe, thanks all, for the advice. Much wisdom on these boards, there are

Good questions and good luck

I think you answered yourself though. You have fuzzy requirements so how cna you know who/what is right

So try and refine your goals and your timeline. Improve your dancing as much as you can in the meantime. Some people believe that if you know what you want then it will happen. Some other methods could be to dance as much as you can whilst telling people your goals. Hopefully you will meet someone who shares them (or knows someone who does).

Hope that helps

Good point, LovingIt28... I should really sit down and make some solid decisions. I'm pretty sure I want to compete somewhere down the line... but work is obviously my priority right now (am going to try and hold on to it as long as possible!), so I can't see that I'll be able to practice half as much as I'd need to just yet

Do tryouts with as many people as you can interest. It may be one, it may be ten. Trying them out back-to-back will make it easier for you to compare and contrast the way the dancing feels with each.

Yes, it's a minefield... I'm just afraid that it's a little too analogous to dating - I wouldn't want to "ask out" too many men, only to burn bridges in making choices. There's only really one place I can have lessons - and it'd be difficult to string a bunch of men to them. In fact, I've found one potential guy who seems to have quite similar experience/goals, but am shirking from contacting more men in case I offend him, or someone else, by wasting their time. I guess I'm just not sure what the etiquette is...

 

[barrefly]

Here's a weird question. Let's say you schedule a tryout and pay for an hr. studio rental, or even hire a pro. to coordinate the tryout. Within 5 mins, you know this person is not for you. What do you do? Is there a protocal?

 

[Gorme]

I look at it like a job interview. If the tryout is not a fit, there is no reason to waste everyone's time by dragging out the tryout for the entire hour. Thank the person for coming and if you wish, tell them why they did not make the cut. I always wanted to know why I did not get accepted, but that's just me.

 

[barrefly]

Thankyou Gorme,
Recently, I set up a tryout for my daughter. She knew almost immediatly that he didn't make the cut. I wanted her to give him the entire session, but she was very adamant about ending it. I aplologized to her afterwards.
P.S. She did not tell him why he did'nt make the cut, though she did tell me. It was very concise and technical. Him being an instructor (though he hasn't been dancing that long), I would guess that he would have been greatly insulted. I thought she handled it (me) well. It taught me a good lesson.

 

[Fizzipop]

Thing is, I don't feel I'm in any position to do that?... I'm no pro, or even anywhere near! Just an over-enthusiast who danced a little on her university team a few years back, and has pipe dreams of someday competing. If anything I feel like tryouts would be more for the man's sake...

 

[WaltzElf]

Here's a weird question. Let's say you schedule a tryout and pay for an hr. studio rental, or even hire a pro. to coordinate the tryout. Within 5 mins, you know this person is not for you. What do you do? Is there a protocal?

Not possible. Not possible to know on a personal level and not possible to know on a dance ability level. (with the very rare exception).

 

[waltzguy]

In the context of ballroom dance, in the past, I asked, and I got.

My apologies. Upon rereading my own post, this seemed brash. Did it offend, Fizzipop?

Believe me, finding a dance partner is not easy at all, even for men. It becomes much more difficult as the level increases. Like others have said, keep trying, don't fear rejection, and try to take the emotion out of the decisions, whether it's decisions by you or made onto you (easier said than done).