The Practice of Hiring Dance Instructors to Partner You for Social Dances

[Purr]

After ending up being a wallflower at socials more than a few times, hiring a partner starts to sound like a good idea. I haven't had the opportunity, but........

The 3 ladies described in the original post sound like they have a great arrangement going. And the cost per person isn't terrible. If they're having a good time, and it sounds like they are, more power to them.

 

[bry_dancer]

My perspective is different but maybe it's because I'm a lead and not a follow. The whole point of social dances for me is to get comfortable dancing with a variety of people. It's a way for me to test how well my leading skills are going and connect with other people. I also feel like dancing with a lot of different follows makes me a better dancer. I never want to be one of those people who can only dance with my pro. In fact, if my pro is at a social I try to dance with her as little as possible just so I can branch out a bit.

 

[bry_dancer]

My perspective is different but maybe it's because I'm a lead and not a follow. The whole point of social dances for me is to get comfortable dancing with a variety of people. It's a way for me to test how well my leading skills are going and connect with other people. I also feel like dancing with a lot of different follows makes me a better dancer. I never want to be one of those people who can only dance with my pro. In fact, if my pro is at a social I try to dance with her as little as possible just so I can branch out a bit.

Also, I'm aware that my perspective may just be a luxury of being on the easier side of the supply and demand curve in the ballroom world. And if I want to dance with someone I just ask rather than having to wait to be asked so that helps too...

 

[Cal]

I both Lead and Follow, so I do like to try out social dancing with a variety of other dancers.

As a Lead, it's still most likely that I'll dance with female Follows, and most (not all) females don't mind dancing with another female.

As a Follow, it's still most likely that I'll dance with male Leads; and I will say that I have been on the receiving end of some VERY withering looks from female Follows on the rare occasion when I dance as a Follow with a male Leader, even if he's really inexperienced. (How DARE I take away a male Lead from them!)

 

[Well Rounded]

My opportunities to dance with my pro are limited so I probably would not pass up an opportunity. That being said, learning to follow and lead a variety of partners is one of my main takeaways from social dance. I like the idea of hiring a taxi dancer occasionally but I wouldn't do it regularly.
Leads are so scarce where I am that they pretty much get to dance with almost anyone they choose. One of the reasons I learned to lead was so that I could have more choice about who I danced with. Plus I never have to sit out a dance unless that's what I want to do.

 

[bry_dancer]

Interesting concept brought up by Cal and Well Rounded of learning the other part. I never thought of learning the follow part, but it probably would make me a better dancer. That said, there are so few leads that if I danced the follow part at a social I'm pretty sure the regular follows would not be happy that I'm effectively taking away two leads.

 

[Bailamosdance]

A ‘dancer for hire’ only has to be as good as the person who hires them, and rotating dance after dance is a matter of stamina not quality. In fact, social dancing endlessly is a certain recipe for mediocrity - there’s an old cliché the social dancers basically know four or five simple combinations which they recycle through every dance, with not much regard to expression or depth. And even if the dancer is a world-class ballroom dancer, there are only limited movements they can share with a follower who has not had that kind of training.

locally, there are a few six week wonders who do this at the local socials. It’s true that their clients get them more consistency since there is no test of quality to show up at a dance, only your entrance fee. But overall it’s basically box Rumbas, viennese Waltz Patty cakes, and twinkles everywhere.

 

[lucia_l]

But overall it’s basically box Rumbas, viennese Waltz Patty cakes, and twinkles everywhere.

Chances are the majority of follows who actually hire a taxi dancer are content with this. The alternative is sitting on the side, dancing with beginners who have trouble doing box Rhumbas and/or dancing with men who think they know more steps but can't lead. (Honest, I prefer dancing with a beginner just trying to dance a box to dancing with a lead who really can't lead but tries all sorts of "fancy" steps to show off.)
.
If my husband didn't dance, I would definitely seek out a taxi dancer. I'd be happy to share with two other ladies so that I had a chance to dance with other people. But it would beat the heck out of just sitting and watching people dance.

 

[Mengu]

(Honest, I prefer dancing with a beginner just trying to dance a box to dancing with a lead who really can't lead but tries all sorts of "fancy" steps to show off.)

Just to play devil's advocate... How else are they supposed to get more comfortable with leading advanced steps, if they don't try to lead more advanced steps? When a lead is learning from an instructor, they get a huge amount of "help" from the instructor. But when doing it on the social dance floor with a different partner, they are going to fail their first attempt, 100% of the time. They just have to try and try again. And sometimes the failure is not just the lead's fault, maybe it's something the follow is not experienced doing at all, or has only done it with an instructor and not a social dancer. So again, these experiments can only benefit the dancers.

And at a certain point, we can try steps without necessarily having worked out all it's details, trusting we can figure it out on the fly. Sometimes our attempts don't work out, we just shrug and keep going. That's how we become more natural dancers, and can start paying attention to music more, instead of constantly trying to figure out what amalgamation to lead next into the navigation space available.

 

[lucia_l]

Mengu,
I'm just saying what I prefer in a social setting. I certainly agree the problem can be the follow lacking skills or not having a clue what a particular step is.

I'm not saying the lead shouldn't try or that he should condemned for trying. I'm saying I find it mentally less taxing to dance with an utter beginner who can't do something than to try to follow someone doing something fancier who doesn't really know how to lead it yet.

My husband likes to try to learn new steps from tapes. So.. we try that sometimes. At this point, when my husband and I practice a new step, I'm the one who wants to repeat several times to music so I can fully sense the nuances of the lead. After all, as a follow, I don't know what the step is supposed to be other than through the lead. When he's just learning it to.... exactly how it feels sometimes even evolves while we are getting timing or exact pattern to lead. No matter how well the timing is described, it does seem we need to do it together. I definitely need to force him to repeat it otherwise, the mistiming on the dance floor will often mean I don't have a clue what he's lead.

Honestly, I think you need to be a follow to know just how much some guys don't lead. ( Yes, you probably have to be a lead to know just how much follows don't follow!)

 

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Just to play devil's advocate... How else are they supposed to get more comfortable with leading advanced steps, if they don't try to lead more advanced steps? When a lead is learning from an instructor, they get a huge amount of "help" from the instructor. But when doing it on the social dance floor with a different partner, they are going to fail their first attempt, 100% of the time. They just have to try and try again. And sometimes the failure is not just the lead's fault, maybe it's something the follow is not experienced doing at all, or has only done it with an instructor and not a social dancer. So again, these experiments can only benefit the dancers.

And at a certain point, we can try steps without necessarily having worked out all it's details, trusting we can figure it out on the fly. Sometimes our attempts don't work out, we just shrug and keep going. That's how we become more natural dancers, and can start paying attention to music more, instead of constantly trying to figure out what amalgamation to lead next into the navigation space available.

I think it's about degrees - not going for that complex routine that the "intermediate/advanced" class taught before the social, but trying something new of which the leader already has some or most of the building blocks. E.g., they're comfortable with whisks/twinkles, so they try a back whisk/twinkle next.

 

[Greybeard]

I do try the routine from the pre-social class, but only with other students from that class or more advanced followers that I think already know it. And if we don't succeed, I don't try it again that dance (unless the lady asks me to). I might try again if I know where I messed up and think I can fix it. And maybe that's the last time I try it before a review in private.

I do similar with the stuff I've been working on with my teacher. Find a partner I think can follow the move and I think is comfortable with my doing new moves (not a stranger). Try the move once and if it doesn't work I probably need another review before trying it again. That might make the rest of the dance all boxes and crossovers and peek-a-boos. I'm usually only working on one move for each dance at a time.

I try to tailor the figures I lead to the skill level of my partner. I don't want to bore the great dancer any more than I want to overwhelm a new one.

 

[IndyLady]

there’s an old cliché the social dancers basically know four or five simple combinations which they recycle through every dance, with not much regard to expression or depth.

Can we please stop promoting and recycling this cliche? It's not universally true, certainly not at my studio, and we don't need to be taking veiled swipes at social dancers. I really thought we were past that on this forum. Some people have wide repertoires, some don't - and that includes comp dancers.

Just to play devil's advocate... How else are they supposed to get more comfortable with leading advanced steps, if they don't try to lead more advanced steps? When a lead is learning from an instructor, they get a huge amount of "help" from the instructor. But when doing it on the social dance floor with a different partner, they are going to fail their first attempt, 100% of the time. They just have to try and try again. And sometimes the failure is not just the lead's fault, maybe it's something the follow is not experienced doing at all, or has only done it with an instructor and not a social dancer. So again, these experiments can only benefit the dancers.

And at a certain point, we can try steps without necessarily having worked out all it's details, trusting we can figure it out on the fly. Sometimes our attempts don't work out, we just shrug and keep going. That's how we become more natural dancers, and can start paying attention to music more, instead of constantly trying to figure out what amalgamation to lead next into the navigation space available.

My answer to this is "it depends". I play guinea pig for a lot of leads attempting new moves they just learned - I hear "I'm going to try something" at least once every party. I'm fine with that. OTOH, the ones who break out all sorts of fancy moves they aren't good at - and are oblivious to this fact - and clearly are not getting any additional private instruction on them - yeah, sometimes I'd rather have some basics. If I can't follow most of what's being lead, it might *not* be just me.

 

[madmaximus]

, , ,
Some people have wide repertoires, some don't - and that includes comp dancers.

This sounds like me these days.
A few weeks ago—seems like ages now—a lady I was dancing with at a social (am. competitor) asked if I knew the "Big Top."
For a very very brief moment there, I had to stop and think,
before realizing–oh yeah...I used to like that one.

I'm so rusty, it's not even funny.

My answer to this is "it depends". I play guinea pig for a lot of leads attempting new moves they just learned - I hear "I'm going to try something" at least once every party. I'm fine with that. OTOH, the ones who break out all sorts of fancy moves they aren't good at - and are oblivious to this fact - and clearly are not getting any additional private instruction on them - yeah, sometimes I'd rather have some basics. If I can't follow most of what's being lead, it might *not* be just me.

We gentleman should always remember to be grateful for all the ladies who—during that formative time
when we were bumbling and bungling around, stepping on their toes, and twisting their wrists in our enthusiasm—had graciously allowed us to practice our inept "moves" with them
(even if those moves looked cool ONLY in our minds).

We're all the better for it.

Hmm...come to think of it, I've never been asked (by a lady) "if we could try something."
It's always been "do you know the such-and-such figure/move?"



m

 

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Can we please stop promoting and recycling this cliche? It's not universally true, certainly not at my studio, and we don't need to be taking veiled swipes at social dancers. I really thought we were past that on this forum. Some people have wide repertoires, some don't - and that includes comp dancers.

Having a wide repertoire is pretty important for social dancing. An anecdote: I went out with a group of dance friends to a muggle environment (music festival). We dropped in at a restaurant with a live band. I asked a friend to stand up with me as a quickstep-able song came on. I invited her into a compact, dropped hold (hands around waist level) - 1. As there was no open space, we had to thread our way between tables. 2. A big frame/hold is out of place in a muggle venue and arguably obnoxious. Thirty seconds in, my friend was pleading for a full competition hold. She simply couldn't get any information out of that compact hold.

That isn't to say one type of dancer is better than another. Rather, for many of us who are in the earlier stages of our dancing (she'd been competing in standard for several years), there are areas which our chosen style/outlet has tended to emphasize and others where our knowledge is not (yet) complete. Now she can read pretty much any hold. In the end, a good dancer is a good dancer, whether social or competitive.

I hear "I'm going to try something" at least once every party.

usually the last words i hear before i land on my head are "i just wanna try this new move" my mom danced with this guy who wanted to try a "new move" he flipped her over his back and she landed on her face, when she asked where he got the move from he said it was a judo move that he wanted to convert into salsa....what were you thinking man??????