The theory says - if you are happy with yourself

If you are happy with yourself, you have a better chance of making the best of whatever circumstances you find yourself if. But there are plenty of external circumstances that would make any sane person unhappy, regardless of how they felt about themselves.
 
waltzgirl said:
If you are happy with yourself, you have a better chance of making the best of whatever circumstances you find yourself if. But there are plenty of external circumstances that would make any sane person unhappy, regardless of how they felt about themselves.
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Absolutely. That is one of the reasons why I titled this thread "The theory says.........".

In practice, am coming round to the thought that some people (and am not excluding myself from this! ;)) look outside of themselves for "happiness" how ever they may be defining it, when what they should be doing is looking inside.

So for instance... a new haircut, a new job, a new city, a new country (!) might bring that "happiness", when the real problem may not be the hair, job, city or country.

Re external circumstances, some circumstances can be changed, it is a question of how much someone wants to be happy, that they will effect the changes necessary to be happy.

Where am I going/coming from in all this? No, not "unhappy" myself, but as previously said, the winds of change are ablowin' and I have been trying to reflect/contemplate which of those winds (not of the bodily type!) are from how I am feeling inside, which are external circumstances that are within my power to change, and which, if any, are not.

Where someone has chemical imbalances, health problems, depression and such like, I am classifying those as external circumstances, even though those circumstances are internal to them because there is often very little one can do about the above without external help. So, for the purpose of this discussion ;) I would like to exclude those sorts of external circumstances please.
 
Maybe its a similar thing Pacion, but people do seem to fall into two groups - Type H: intrinsically happy with transient periods of unhappiness; and Type UH: intrinsically unhappy that have to work at being happy. I suspect that these reflect some native brain chemical ballance.

My theorem continues that the latter (intrinsically unhappy) are always looking for the former to cheer them up!

I am fortunate in that I do fall into the former but have had my fill of the latter who, unintentionally (I believe, but then again I am a happy person that would ;)) drag me into unhappiness.

Happy people unite!!! I say.... :):):)
 
For ME, happiness is definitely an internally driven event. After the physiological needs are met (needs of food, shelter etc.)...

It's about having an optimistic, but realistic view of your world.

It's about valuing those around you for what they are, not who you'd like them to be.

It's about being in charge of your world, not the victim of it.

It's about continually challenging yourself to be learning and growing, even in the worst of situations.

It's about building a caring environment around yourself in your "chosen" family and friends.

It's about acknowledging what you have, and giving back to the world in whatever way you feel best.

I wish you all much happiness....
 
i come more from the "not naturally happy" crowd and had to discover how to find that & carry it within.

discovered that one can have virtually nothing positive externally but still be massively joyful and fulfilled. that experience & awareness changed me thereafter. even difficult times since have been a completely different experience.

so yeah... it's definitely true for me. IME, no matter how depressed or miserable or unhealthy or OCD or whatever someone is... been there done that... there's another frequency one can live life in.
 
Well Sam - you are definitely succeeding 'cause I never would have guessed... obviously I need a new catagory:

TUH: Transitioned unhappies: unhappies who found what was amiss and fixed it...

Hats off to all the TUH's from all the :)s and :(s
 
you crack me up, elise... lol.

and i echo your sentiment: from one TUH to all others... cheers!
 
love and happiness are not feelings at their highest level...they are decisions

I have always loved the book "happiness is an inside job" by john powell
I also think that is why the 12 steps has changed so many lives

bloom where you are planted...
 
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