The three-dance rule

[Ampster]

Huh? I guess that just goes to show that different cultures are different. Coming from the American ballroom scene where one dance is the rule, dancing three seems a bit much. Five? Oh my goodness! What if you get stuck witha creep, or a sweaty person, or one with B.O.? *shudder*


That said, my question is, what is the etiquette around getting out of the three to five dance custom? Is there a polite escape? Or do you just have to grin and bear it?

There's been plenty of discussion in other branches of DF about how many dances is the norm, but in Argentine Tango the norm is quite different. Here in Australia, it's a set of three dances with a fourth one give as a "tip", so to speak.

I was very surprised by this when I first started AT. I'm kinda used to it now, but it still gets to me sometimes when I'm dancing with someone who I find I don't wish to continue dancing with, for whatever reason.
Having said that, three dances isn't enough with someone you enjoy dancing with! :lol:

Is three dances the norm for AT everywhere else?

Also, is dancing more than three dances (in a row) with a guy or gal considered a social no-no in your neck of the woods?

Re: Number of dances:
The norm here in the US (at least in all of the milongas in the US I've been to) is to dance one tanda of four songs (sometimes five, depending on the DJ). It gives you the opportunity to enjoy dancing with someone for the whole tanda (set). That's normal in AT.

Re: Sweaty people:
In a milonga, you will be sweating all over each other. It's what happens when you dance for 10-15 minutes continuosly (one tanda) in close embrace. AT people pay VERY particular attention to their hygiene because of this. Again, that's normal in AT.

Re: Cutting the tanda short:
If you must cut the tanda short, it is for a very, very good reason (eg. bad partner, bad breath, bad dancing, bad vibes, need to go to the bathroom, etc, etc.) give the signal to cut. Its a bit rude, but if you must...

Re: How to Cut a tanda short:
The polite signal to cut a tanda short is to say "THANK YOU" after the song when you want to quit tis partner. Then you take your leave.

Normally, the "Thank you" is reserved ONLY for the end of the tanda. Not anywhere in the middle. If you do say "Thank you" anywhere in the middle of the tanda, then you just told your partner that your done. In AT, this is the social no-no. But, if you have to...​

 

[Angel HI]

In AT, this is the social no-no.

Re the 3 dance rule;

My post from another thread is..."This has nothing to do with AT. It is cultural to BsAs, or Argentina. Many Americans speak to this, but, we, in the U.S., do not have to do it. It is not cultural to us. I do not mind it, yet, I believe copying it because it is "...what they do in BsAs..." but has nothing to do with the dance, is ridiculous." I have frequented many milongas where there was a severe shortage of males. Everyone was okay with an unspoken 2 dance norm (rather than "rule"), enabling us to partner more persons.

Re beginning a dance;

It is just courteous to not take one out for the first dance, and unload your entire last year of lessons on her. Men like to believe so, but she is not impressed. Begin slowly, meaning simply, and progress...add complexities accordingly.

 

[tangotime]

Simple answer--- no matter the dance genre--- Comfort zone

 

[Heather2007]

There's been plenty of discussion in other branches of DF about how many dances is the norm, but in Argentine Tango the norm is quite different. Here in Australia, it's a set of three dances with a fourth one give as a "tip", so to speak.

I was very surprised by this when I first started AT. I'm kinda used to it now, but it still gets to me sometimes when I'm dancing with someone who I find I don't wish to continue dancing with, for whatever reason.
Having said that, three dances isn't enough with someone you enjoy dancing with! :lol:

Is three dances the norm for AT everywhere else?

Also, is dancing more than three dances (in a row) with a guy or gal considered a social no-no in your neck of the woods?

On Saturday, I did the usual "thank you" and made to walk away and the guy pulled me back and said, "you're not going to escape that quickly". In total, we danced 3 x 3. He was a brilliant lead so I was flattered. I guess the only "no-no" as it were, were echos emanating from the ladies queuing to dance with him. When I lead a woman in a dance, I'll limit it to 2 dances maximum as I am aware that they maybe wanting now to dance with a man. If I don't want to continuing following (usually due to bad personal hygience) after one track, then I'll politely do a second and then say my "thankyous". But yes, 3-dance rule tends to be the norm here too.

 

[Ampster]

To be clear, when I talk of dancing several songs with a single partner, I am talking about the norm in AT that you dance ONE WHOLE TANDA with your partner. You break away at the Cortina.

A tanda can be anywhere from 3-5 songs of the like tango types (Tango, Vals, Milonga), separated by a Cortina (something non-tango danceable for about ~1 minute), so you can find a new partner to dance the next tanda with.

In some places they don't organize it into tandas and cortinas. In this case, then you dance a set mutually agreed upon by you and your partner (three songs?), or do whatever (one song?). This is not as much fun IMO. It doesn't have a feel of a milonga, but that depends on the ideosyncharsies of a particular demographic.

 

[Angel HI]

Was rereading the thread, for some reason, and absolutely loved this...

You have a whole tanda...let things build.

And, this priceless, and FAR to overlooked gem can never be discussed enough.....

...and don't overlook how wonderful simple moves can be.