Thoughts on friendship vs romantic relationship

[Twilight_Elena]

I was discussing this with a friend. Simply put, what's the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship?
It's not as easy as it sounds.

Twilight Elena

 

[chandra]

Obviously, I havent had the life experience to really say much on this topic...

Its still an interesting and curious topic though, and I have some thoughts:
This question could be answered so differently depending on the friendships involved. My immediate thought was that, aside from chemistry, and physical shtuff, with a significant other they become as TE put it "like a body part". You take things they do and say so much more personaly. You feel like you should be able to depend on them no matter what. But then, as TE also pointed out, friendships can have that quality too sometimes...

 

[fascination]

i dont think theres much difference as long as you remember to put friendship with the person first even when romance is involved....

 

[diputs]

A romantic friendship as in someone that you are having physical relations with?

Isn't that the difference. One is non physical while the other is physical.

 

[fascination]

A romantic friendship as in someone that you are having physical relations with?

Isn't that the difference. One is non physical while the other is physical.

well, sir one can feel terribly romantic without actually getting physical...BUT...that is not what I meant...I meant that romantic and physical friendships can be just as successful as frienships that are platonic as long as the friendship part comes first....that way if the romantic part gets rocky...it is undergirded by something strong

 

[diputs]

fascination,

I knew what you meant, I am just confused as to what is the definitions of a romantic friendship. I cannot figure out how to compare the two.

 

[Indiana_Jay]

I agree with Fascination, that the best romantic relationships begin as friendships.

The OP seems to ask, however, how one knows whether one is in a friendship or romance.

Or perhaps even more difficult, how one knows whether one's friendship has become a romance (yet).

I agree that there are times when it can be difficult to tell.

Of course, "back in the day" when I was Twilight_Elena's age (aka the Dark Ages), people didn't engage in certain physical activities without being in a romantic relationship. This has apparently changed (witness the phrase, "friends with benefits"). I'm sure that makes things even more confusing for today's young people.

I guess one possible milestone to use is when each party begins talking about the possibility of long-term committment.

-IJ

 

[fascination]

well for one...unless you are bisexual, a friendship can mean with someone of a gender that you have no sexual interest in....so we could be talking there about buddies of whatever gender.......a romantic friendship, actualized by physical expression or not, clearly has to do with attraction ...which can really mess things up if the friendship part isnt solid first...that's all I am trying to say

 

[Shooshoo]

A romantic friendship as in someone that you are having physical relations with?

Isn't that the difference. One is non physical while the other is physical.

This is what I hope to find in a romantic relationship. A good friendship with physical relations. It would be great if you find a lover who you can be friends with.

I see it that some friends you can live, talk, travel, so things with and others just drain you, you can't communicate with, maybe take advantage of you, etc (these are the friends you choose not to see that often, but you still like for some reason).
This same applies to lovers, some you can get along with (which would be great to find) and others you can also be attracted to and they just drain and annoy you contastly (if you choose not to see them that often, then what's the point). The latter I see cannot last for long.

 

[Twilight_Elena]

The OP seems to ask, however, how one knows whether one is in a friendship or romance.

Or perhaps even more difficult, how one knows whether one's friendship has become a romance (yet).

... Not really. I was just being philosophical and decided to see what's your "line" between the two.
An interesting rephrase is: What do you get from a relationship that you can't get from a friendship? Besides sex, people.

Twilight Elena

 

[Shooshoo]

What do you get from a relationship that you can't get from a friendship? Twilight Elena

I wonder?

I can imagine: someone who puts you first, your decisions would depend on what you both agree on (comprimising), generousity in loving ?

 

[Ellis]

I have heard it said that a relationship is down to mutual lust. While a relationship can be founded on mutual lust alone, such relationships do not last. Relationships with the right blend of friendship and lust have the greatest longevity.

 

[fascination]

... Not really. I was just being philosophical and decided to see what's your "line" between the two.
An interesting rephrase is: What do you get from a relationship that you can't get from a friendship? Besides sex, people.

Twilight Elena

then I dont have an answer for you....

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Your answers really catch me by surprise. Almost all of you say that being together with someone is a lot like being friends with sexual benefits. I'm very sceptical. It's the first thing that comes to mind that there are other things as well, no?

Twilight Elena

 

[fascination]

Your answers really catch me by surprise. Almost all of you say that being together with someone is a lot like being friends with sexual benefits. I'm very sceptical. It's the first thing that comes to mind that there are other things as well, no?

Twilight Elena

no...like what? everything I can think of also appears in a friendship....the only thing romance adds is the desire to act romantically which, at least in my world involves the physical eventually