To date or not to date... is it specific to tango?

Madahlia said:
People are always compromising and negotiating to get what they want or can out of life.
Click to expand...

Girl..we ain't so different in our views although I would subsitute "compromise" for "sacrifice". Although the two meanings are quite often misunderstood. I personally don't think a relationship should be "worked" at. (I have a day job where I do that). But yep, some do have to juggle etc. etc. (compromise) and others just give up (sacrifice). There should always be a healthy balance between the different interests of two people and then putting aside time where "quality time" is set for both to do something that is shared (and not just playing on the carpet with the kids).

Madahlia said:
Am I to understand that you work in the counselling profession? Then you will know that an issue-free relationship is a rare thing.
Click to expand...

I had an issue-free relationship once...and then his death separated us. Made a promise to myself some years back - no more relationships - as I kept comparing those after him (which was unforgivably unfair...one ex even shouted, "I cannot compete with this, this dead guy of yours". He was right. Ha, ha, ha.

A counseller? Nah. Just remembering what I once had...which turned me into a people watcher :rolleyes:
 
c955 said:
The important thing to remember though is that an 'emotional connection' doesn't automatically mean a good 'dance connection' will ensue and vice versa!
Click to expand...

Absolutely - it's one of the mysteries of dance how a connection during the dance can seem so powerful at the time, yet so completely without basis in any other context.
 
So I talked to my tango ex last night, and an interesting thing she told me was that she wished I had shown a little more jealousy... as in I seemed cold and unmoved when she danced multiple tandas with better dancers, as well as in other non-tango contexts. In reality, I am human, so I do get jealous, but it always seemed to me that jealousy is a sign of insecurity. As such I made a conscious effort to hide jealousy. I don't think this would have changed things much, but this aspect intrigues me about female psychology. I guess every person has different perspectives and preferences, but what do women here think?
 
milongadicto said:
So I talked to my tango ex last night, and an interesting thing she told me was that she wished I had shown a little more jealousy... as in I seemed cold and unmoved when she danced multiple tandas with better dancers, as well as in other non-tango contexts. In reality, I am human, so I do get jealous, but it always seemed to me that jealousy is a sign of insecurity. As such I made a conscious effort to hide jealousy. I don't think this would have changed things much, but this aspect intrigues me about female psychology. I guess every person has different perspectives and preferences, but what do women here think?
Click to expand...

Hearing this makes me feel utterly relieved I don't have a tango bf as I don't have to bother going through the whole jealousy thing which I know would arise in dance context!

I suppose it would support her feelings of security if you had shown more jealousy but it would also encourage game-playing rather than direct communication of feelings. Taken to extremes, having a jealous partner would be a pain in the neck at a dance event.
 
milongadicto said:
So I talked to my tango ex last night, and an interesting thing she told me was that she wished I had shown a little more jealousy... as in I seemed cold and unmoved when she danced multiple tandas with better dancers, as well as in other non-tango contexts. In reality, I am human, so I do get jealous, but it always seemed to me that jealousy is a sign of insecurity. As such I made a conscious effort to hide jealousy. I don't think this would have changed things much, but this aspect intrigues me about female psychology. I guess every person has different perspectives and preferences, but what do women here think?
Click to expand...
Haha, I bet if you had shown more jealousy that she would have complained that you were too jealous.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top