What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?
- Thread starter Paula M
- Start date
Yeah, it's certainly not my approach, but when you chuck in the sublimated mating thing, and guys wanting to vicariously look good (ie through her), then it makes sense enough, in many blokes....
Oh well, poetic justice - chances are they're missing out on good dances through their superficiality.
Dave Bailey
Active Member
Presumably you never look at beautiful women either? I mean, looking is not an orgasmic activity, so there is no special benefit looking at good looking women.
little hobo
New Member
What's an "orgasmic activity"?
And should you be doing it on the dance floor?
And should you be doing it on the dance floor?
Dave Bailey
Active Member
wooh
Well-Known Member
Latin dancers might appreciate it, they do like the floor sticky.
Hey, everyone. Please drop it.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Nice one.
Hell, no, I'm starting to celebrate the Outer Crone.
bordertangoman
Well-Known Member
not me..I danced with the most beautiful young woman who is all long hair and long legs on saturday, and she isnt quite as wild as she used to be; sometimes we played and it was a lot of fun.
And had a lovely last dance with a woman with an embrace to die in....I know of only three or four ladies in the uk who feel like this.
and had nice dances with the usual crones....
Dave Bailey
Active Member
On a semi-serious note, and vastly over-generalising, I often find that when I do dance with those women, they're not very good. They're often all about making themselves look good - not surprisingly - and not so much about connection with their partner.
Show dancers, basically. And I'm not that keen on dancing with show dancers.
Dave Bailey
Active Member
twnkltoz
Forum Master
I hope y'all don't mind me bumping up this old thread, but I thought you could help me puzzle out why I don't get asked to dance. Well, I do some, sometimes by men who don't know me at all, often by an old ballroom or swing friend, sometimes by men whom I've met and gotten to know a little bit. However, I find my self sitting a LOT, even when at a small practica with a total of maybe 20 people that are evenly balanced between men and women. It's frustrating, which makes it hard to manage my pleasant attitude as the evening wears on. My husband and I go together, but we don't want to dance with each other ALL night. We like to get around and have some variety, plus dancing with more experienced dancers helps us learn.
My background:
I've been ballroom and west coast swing dancing for 15 years, so I already had a concept of partner dancing and how to move my body before I started AT a month ago. I'm also a fast learner, and being a woman, I can follow and pick things up more easily than my poor husband, who has to go more slowly (but is doing great!). I've been told by several people I don't have the typical ballroom dancer problems, and I get specific enough compliments with genuine surprise and smiles that I believe them. Also, I'm neither 20 nor skinny nor do I dress sexy in 4" heels nor have big boobs, so I'm pretty sure they're not acting impressed to hit on me. They even smile while we're dancing. I don't mean to sound egotistical--I have a lot to learn, and I take every suggestion very seriously and try to learn from every dance. Anyway, the point is, I'm just trying to point out that the men who have danced with me seem to enjoy it.
Although we've only been doing this a month, Greg and I have been going out dancing 2-4 nights per week, so we're really getting to know a lot of people in the community. They've been very welcoming, introducing themselves and each other. We've become friends with quite a few on facebook. The women have been super about dancing with Greg, even though he mostly just walks at this point (but, did I say, well? I'm proud of him).
So, here's what puzzles me:
1. There are men who dance with me one night, sometimes 2-3 tandas, who don't even look at me the next night. Or one week to the next. There isn't a pattern by venue/crowd.
2. They'll dance with me once (perhaps a pity dance? I'm not above pity dances.), smile and compliment me throughout and/or after, then don't ask again.
3. A couple of men I've made a point of introducing myself to, or someone else introduced us, or he and my husband and I got to talking, but still they don't ask me.
I know I"m being a whiner, but I'm truly puzzled. I'm friendly, I smile, I try to look people in the eye (although I'm shy, so that's hard and I don't always manage it), all indicators seem to point to the fact that I'm pleasant to dance with despite being a beginner to the style.
Greg and I thought maybe it was because others are afraid to ask me because they don't want to offend him or something, so we sometimes separate and hang out in different spots. We get him out dancing to show that we do dance with other people. I sit with an open posture or stand by the side of the floor. I dress neatly and fairly elegantly, although not fancy or sexy (nice slacks and a top). I wear ballroom practice shoes, because I've had foot problems and don't want to wear high heels. I dance in an open embrace when given the choice because I feel funny throwing myself at strangers (I know, I"ll get over it eventually, but I feel like I should learn more before I do), although some men just pull me into a close embrace and I comply to the best of my ability.
One friend suggested it's just getting more face time at the dances--that eventually I'll have been around long enough that they'll start asking. I can see that to a point, but what about the guys who have already danced with me? I can also see how when there is a big surplus of women, the guys have to get around to a lot of them, but can't they get to me even once? Even in, say, a snowball dance where they'll only be "stuck" with me for a few seconds?
OK, I'll stop whining now...but I'm interested in any theories or suggestions.
My background:
I've been ballroom and west coast swing dancing for 15 years, so I already had a concept of partner dancing and how to move my body before I started AT a month ago. I'm also a fast learner, and being a woman, I can follow and pick things up more easily than my poor husband, who has to go more slowly (but is doing great!). I've been told by several people I don't have the typical ballroom dancer problems, and I get specific enough compliments with genuine surprise and smiles that I believe them. Also, I'm neither 20 nor skinny nor do I dress sexy in 4" heels nor have big boobs, so I'm pretty sure they're not acting impressed to hit on me. They even smile while we're dancing. I don't mean to sound egotistical--I have a lot to learn, and I take every suggestion very seriously and try to learn from every dance. Anyway, the point is, I'm just trying to point out that the men who have danced with me seem to enjoy it.
Although we've only been doing this a month, Greg and I have been going out dancing 2-4 nights per week, so we're really getting to know a lot of people in the community. They've been very welcoming, introducing themselves and each other. We've become friends with quite a few on facebook. The women have been super about dancing with Greg, even though he mostly just walks at this point (but, did I say, well? I'm proud of him).
So, here's what puzzles me:
1. There are men who dance with me one night, sometimes 2-3 tandas, who don't even look at me the next night. Or one week to the next. There isn't a pattern by venue/crowd.
2. They'll dance with me once (perhaps a pity dance? I'm not above pity dances.), smile and compliment me throughout and/or after, then don't ask again.
3. A couple of men I've made a point of introducing myself to, or someone else introduced us, or he and my husband and I got to talking, but still they don't ask me.
I know I"m being a whiner, but I'm truly puzzled. I'm friendly, I smile, I try to look people in the eye (although I'm shy, so that's hard and I don't always manage it), all indicators seem to point to the fact that I'm pleasant to dance with despite being a beginner to the style.
Greg and I thought maybe it was because others are afraid to ask me because they don't want to offend him or something, so we sometimes separate and hang out in different spots. We get him out dancing to show that we do dance with other people. I sit with an open posture or stand by the side of the floor. I dress neatly and fairly elegantly, although not fancy or sexy (nice slacks and a top). I wear ballroom practice shoes, because I've had foot problems and don't want to wear high heels. I dance in an open embrace when given the choice because I feel funny throwing myself at strangers (I know, I"ll get over it eventually, but I feel like I should learn more before I do), although some men just pull me into a close embrace and I comply to the best of my ability.
One friend suggested it's just getting more face time at the dances--that eventually I'll have been around long enough that they'll start asking. I can see that to a point, but what about the guys who have already danced with me? I can also see how when there is a big surplus of women, the guys have to get around to a lot of them, but can't they get to me even once? Even in, say, a snowball dance where they'll only be "stuck" with me for a few seconds?
OK, I'll stop whining now...but I'm interested in any theories or suggestions.