my experience has been that giving specific feedback tends to backfire because the real problem is not in what i as the leader feel, but in what she as the follower feels, and those are only marginally related. I can tell her where something is wrong, and why it s wrong at that spot, but what she has to do to fix it is usually somewhere deep in her conceptualization and structure of the dance
This is why feedback like "You feel heavier on the left side" or "When we do this, you feel like you're leaning on me" or "You're so light I can't tell where you are or what foot you're on" or "with every step, it feels like you fall away then come back, then fall away, etc" is the more helpful kind of advice. ("You need to step HERE" is not useful). In that way, what the leader feels IS important. It's not so much about how I do a specific move as about how it feels to lead me in general. It also presents me only with what HE feels, as opposed to trying to tell me how to fix it. (which, as you say, has to come from MY structure and conceptualization in order to work)
E.g. i tend to dance relatively squared off, and my advice for a lot of problems would be to be less in a v and more square - which is completely non-helpful to somebody who likes and wants to dance more v. So neither are good approaches for feedback at a milonga.
I agree that correcting the position of move based on a style preference isn't a good idea. But the sorts of things I mention above would still apply. Too heavy? Not enough resistance? No way to feel where she is? These things are not style specific. (unless we're talking about shared weight vs non-shared weight)
you don't get the proper body mechanics by trying to get the proper body mechanics, but by doing something 10000 times, and the movement that comes naturally when you are completely exhausted is the one that is biomechanically the most efficient one.
Now THIS is useful! Because I can totally agree that trying to get the correct body mechanics has not actually resulted in me having correct body mechanics. I remember a ballet teacher who used to have us do simple barre work until we were ready to drop. (instead of complicated barre routines) His idea was that you do the most you can do, then you do 3 more and that's how you develop strength and stamina. However, I also see your point that once the muscles are totally relaxed through exhaustion, the way they move with the least effort also becomes more apparent. It also points out which muscles are weakest. The ones left to do the work once you are tired may not even be the ones that would be the best for properly executing what you are trying; they're just the strongest ones (possibly because of under-use of the proper ones. ie, usually the core).
I believe that the step from being a good follower to being a great follower is the hardest thing to do in tango. Once a follower has enough of the technique down to follow anything the whole game shifts into something completely different, and there is very little support for that transition, and a lot of followers either drop out or start doing something different within tango when they run up against this barrier.
I can only assume that is where I am now.. trying to make that transition without having any real understanding of what I'm transitioning.
I once heard this described as the leader being the earth, and the follower being the sun and the moon at the same time, following the leader, but being the center of the dance at the same time.
Hmmm....
so the leader is "revolving" around me as the sun, but I am also revolving around him since I am also the moon. (metaphorically)
Tricky. :|
As usual, Gssh, a very valuable contribution to the thread! Thank you!