what does it mean dancing four tandas with the same leader?I how many tandas one can dance with the same partner at a milonga?

[ardix]

A month ago I had this puzzling experience: I was meeting with a leader I recently got to know at a Festival we have agreed to both attend but where we could only dance one evening/milonga. After the first (or second tanda) he said: "we can dance four tandas, right?" . I didn't pay much attention to this and just noded, but the question stayed with me. Is there a special code about how many tandas one can dance with the same partner?

 

[Brummbaer]

ONE tanda only is the norm, unless you're a couple of because of pandemic restrictions on changing partners. It's usual for a tanda to comprise 3 or 4 tangos (or 3 milongas or 3 vals). If you dance consecutive tandas it can imply that the couple have interests beyond tango.

Have a look at the Cabeceo thread or search on codigos.

 

[Rabbit]

If you agree to go to a milonga or festival "with" someone, it is implied that you will dance more than one tanda with them, but I've never heard of an exact number being specified before

 

[Numawan]

ONE tanda only is the norm, unless you're a couple of because of pandemic restrictions on changing partners. It's usual for a tanda to comprise 3 or 4 tangos (or 3 milongas or 3 vals). If you dance consecutive tandas it can imply that the couple have interests beyond tango.

Have a look at the Cabeceo thread or search on codigos.

Or it doesn't mean nothing at all and he simply enjoys dancing with you.

 

[opendoor]

There only is one rule: Is it based on mutuallity?

And welcome to DF!

 

[JournalInTime]

Or it doesn't mean nothing at all and he simply enjoys dancing with you.

This.

—

There are milongas where I observe, realize that there are very, very few people I want to dance with, and rotate among those few. In theory, that's "until they refuse"; in practice, refusal has never happened. It's no mystery why: One usually wants to dance with people with whom one dances well and in a similar fashion, and so those people are in the same boat, with very, very few people they want to dance with.

I find it head-shakingly weird when people think multiple and/or successive tandas send some sort of non-tango-related or shady message. Perhaps traditionally, back in the day, it did. These days it just says the above, I think.

 

[JournalInTime]

If you agree to go to a milonga or festival "with" someone, it is implied that you will dance more than one tanda with them, but I've never heard of an exact number being specified before

Yeah, I'm a strictly monogamous man with absolutely no interest in adventures or affairs. However, I still go on "tango dates" with followers when my partner isn't available and the other person is in the same boat or simply lacks a partner.

When I do that, it's taken as read that we'll dance more than usual together, simply because – setting aside tango completely for a moment – it's beyond rude to accompany someone to an event and then abandon them the moment you walk through the door. This is true whether it's "let's get a drink" or "let's sit together at boring presentations at a trade show." In fact, one of my litmus tests for "How socially intelligent is this person?" is "Do they understand what 'do something together' means or are they just using me as leverage of some kind?"

Anyway, I've never heard of a magical number of tandas under those circumstances. At times it's "almost all the tandas"; at times it's "just these few we both really like"; at times it's "Oh, look, everybody we know is here, so let's agree just to dance one tanda and go off and dance with other people!"

 

[ArbeeNYC]

A month ago I had this puzzling experience: I was meeting with a leader I recently got to know at a Festival we have agreed to both attend but where we could only dance one evening/milonga. After the first (or second tanda) he said: "we can dance four tandas, right?" . I didn't pay much attention to this and just noded, but the question stayed with me. Is there a special code about how many tandas one can dance with the same partner?

ONE tanda is the norm, unless it's your boyfriend, husband, or partner. But otherwise, it's one. You might dance another tanda later in the evening with the same person but sequential tandas are generally frowned upon.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

Anyway, I've never heard of a magical number of tandas under those circumstances.

The saying down south is about consecutive tandas: "One tanda is standard. Two means you're good friends. Three means you're going out for coffee after the milonga."

 

[JournalInTime]

The saying down south is about consecutive tandas: "One tanda is standard. Two means you're good friends. Three means you're going out for coffee after the milonga."

Could be! People here don't much care, though. It's more like, "Three means you're not dancing with me, damnit, so stop letting that other person hog all the tandas."

 

[Tango Newbie]

Yeah, I'm a strictly monogamous man with absolutely no interest in adventures or affairs. However, I still go on "tango dates" with followers when my partner isn't available and the other person is in the same boat or simply lacks a partner.

My experienced partner (GF) and I are monogamous, and we had a discussion about expectations. Mine was the 'first-and-last' tanda 'rule' and hers was we don't go to milongas without each other (which I was completely okay with). That said, we dance at least 4 tandas, so it limits 'who' we dance with besides each other, which is typically two or 3 other dancers.

Doing the math, 4 tandas could be around an hour or so, which takes two people out of the mix for a while.

I have to agree with others about the number of tandas in a row being a 'sign' to others that they're a couple, so if people dance say 4 in a row they're making a 'statement' about their status. Leaders may be a less inclined to cabeceo a follower if she's seen dancing that many tandas with one leader. Just my thoughts.

 

[Tangogal]

Four tandas! That’s half my dances with the same partner that’s a ridiculous request from anyone but my actual partner.

When I attended festivals with a non-romantic partner we would meet for workshops, have meals together and generally dance a number of tandas in the evening - that number wasn’t usually specified but it was usually one early in the evening and another milonga or vals later. Occasionally we’d have a third tanda if it was one of those crazy long milongas.

 

[tangobro]

Is there a special code about how many tandas one can dance with the same partner?

I understood the codigo to be about the number of consecutive tandas rather than the total number of tandas. In my area I think it's more about disapproval of someone monopolizing a potential partner for others, but It's not uncommon for some guys to ignore that codigo as well as others..

For me, about 4 - 6 good tandas means I've had a good evening & I'm ready to leave, so 4 tandas with one person means I've ignored a bunch of others.

 

[ardix]

Edit: it was not four consecutive tandas. My question is about the number (is this some unknown /obscure/local rule?) , since it was the first time I heard about such a thing.

 

[Brummbaer]

Edit: it was not four consecutive tandas. My question is about the number (is this some unknown /obscure/local rule?) , since it was the first time I heard about such a thing.

If it was at a long event, no one will notice. There's no rule. If it's consecutive then, in a traditional milonga setting, it might be noticed so others could think this is a couple, or they have some other mutual interest. Note the could and can : it's possible, but do you care, does it matter? In a small world, maybe, maybe not. Maybe it just restricts further invites.

Random tandas through a long evening: who notices?