What happened after you have a really bad competition ?

[dancingirldancing]

Hi,

How do you get back up and get motivated after a really really bad competition ?

Everyone else seems much more together and dance better than us.

Everything seems to be a problem ...dress ... tails ... shoes ... floor ...

Sometimes we dont know how we can ever win .... the standard of everyone else seems so much higher than us ....

Everyone else look a lot better, taller, younger, prettier ...

But we have achieved so much in the last 6 months in term of self improvement .... I know that we can achieve a lot more in our heart.

The week after a bad comp is the worst though when we need to get back to practice and lessons.

We fight more, get told off more by our coaches ....

How do you snap out of this quickly ?

 

[samina]

my thoughts: regroup... get clear on objectives... be willing to find new answers, break through old barriers... re-inspire self and partnership. expect everyone involved to behave as pro-actively and positively as possible -- being torn down or tearing each other down due to stress and insecurity has no benefit.

use the experience as a launching point to go even higher...

 

[DancingMommy]

How do you get back up and get motivated after a really really bad competition ?

It can be difficult, but you have to just regroup and let the bad parts go. Chances are you weren't as bad as you thought.

Everyone else seems much more together and dance better than us.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else on the floor. Everyone is going to have an off night. What you *see* may not be reality. It may be that they are just *really good* at hiding their problems on the dance floor. You can't know what a partnership is like off the floor.

Everything seems to be a problem ...dress ... tails ... shoes ... floor ...

For these things, it's helpful to roadtest your clothing before you hit the floor. The floor there's not much you can do about it.

Sometimes we dont know how we can ever win .... the standard of everyone else seems so much higher than us ....

Seeming is a lot different than being. What you see could be an illusion. Are you dancing in the right category? How long have you been working with your partner?

Everyone else look a lot better, taller, younger, prettier ...

As someone who is 5'2" in flat feet and whose partner is 5'5" in flat feet, I feel your pain about being short. Did I mention we dance Standard? Almost every other couple on the floor is taller than us. I really admire Jean-Marc and France because they are vertically challenged like us and they managed to win the 10 Dance! They are our HEROES.

Do your best to present yourself as the best *you* can possibly be. You have no control over how any one else is going to look. And everyone gets older. Almost everyone on the floor is younger than me at a competition. I'm old for a professional. I'm older than some *retired* pros! But I don't let it get me down. Age is nothing but a number.

We fight more, get told off more by our coaches ....

How do you snap out of this quickly ?

The first thing I would do is to take your results/video (you did get video, right?) to your coaches and ask them to critique your dancing. Then, take their advice. That's what you're paying them for.

As far as fighting with your partner, one thing I've done is to take all the blame. Generally that helps to diffuse any anger/frustration on the part of my partner and allows our coach the opportunity to absolve me of it and place it where it *really* belongs or to give me pointers for making my own dancing better.

The old saying that hindsight is always 20/20 is so true. You can beat yourself up about all your perceived faults or you can resolve to do better. You can't change your past but you can change your future. My dad used to say that every job he ever got fired from was one job closer to his perfect job. Try reframing your perspective such that every bad result is just one result closer to a better result.

Results do not happen overnight. It can take years to perfect that *one* thing that is holding you back. There's no shame in that. Just don't have an unreasonable expectation going in to a competition and you won't be disappointed coming out of it.

 

[GJB]

Two quotes from Augusto Schiavo's FaceBook page:

There is only one Judge and that's YOU.

If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.

 

[etp777]

first thing, in my suggestion, is to go dance somewhere (studio social, salsa club, etc) where you two enjoy dancing just for fun, an das important, just for the two of you.

YOu have to analyze video, results, etc, to help yourself improve as dancers. But as people, and to keep your psyche up, you have to get out somewhere and have fun to remind yourself why you dance. AFTER that, then you can start breaking down where you had problems, what needs improvement, how to fix the problems, etc.

 

[3wishes]

"But we have achieved so much in the last 6 months in term of self improvement .... I know that we can achieve a lot more in our heart." This is itself is a huge statement of where you were - vs - where you are. Don't be in a hurry, dance is a process and progress does happen, even when you don't notice it. Review your videos from your competition - work on "your" dancing - not comparision to everyone else. Know that you've put forth your best effort. I once had a coach - who still coaches us to this day when there is time available - tell me to not allow emotions to rule the afteraffects of the competition outcome. That professionals - where the coach comes from - use the competition as insight to new goals and objectives - based on your own dancing, not on others. It is sound advice. BTW, everyone has a really good competition, an in-between competition and a bad let's forget about that one competition - they are all tools for future practice, objectives and goals. Go out, have fun, dance socially or have a picnic at the beach - do something - and laugh again...you'll find your dancing self - progressing more than you thought and more than you ever imagined. Let it go - it's a process.

 

[latingal]

How do you get back up and get motivated after a really really bad competition ?

I try not to evaluate a comp on the basis of placements or comparisons to other dancers. I evaluate it instead on the basis of meeting my own goals for improvement that I made before the comp.

And no matter what happens, a "failure" is an opportunity to learn. Did I not prepare correctly? Did I fail in a physical effort because of a mental attitude or issue? Etc.

I use "failure" as a motivation to find what I need to do better and then move on.

Sometimes we dont know how we can ever win

Make it so you win whenever you do your personal best and when you see the improvement that you seek. Then you win when you do the work and dance from your heart.

the standard of everyone else seems so much higher than us

Competition is about raising everybody's levels. I will never dance as well as the professional world champion in latin, but it is my challenge to get as close as I can personally get.

And even if I never get as good as a world champion, a world champion cannot bring to the dance what I, as a unique individual, can bring to my dance.

Everyone else look a lot better, taller, younger, prettier

Perhaps, but they are not you.

The week after a bad comp is the worst though when we need to get back to practice and lessons.

We fight more, get told off more by our coaches ....

How do you snap out of this quickly ?

See above. And please note...above takes practice...

 

[dancingirldancing]

The funniest thing is 3 weeks ago we were doing really well at another comp !

So in our heart we know that we could do it ....

AFter reading this, we were inspire to have a heart to heart convo today.

We talked our frustration out today and funnily enough we were not fighting or feeling as upset as we thought we would.

Should be interesting how our practice will feel next week.

Who do you normally delegate to videotape you in comps DM ?

 

[DancingMommy]

We purchase them from the onsite videographers. Most comps outside USA Dance and the collegiate circuit don't allow you to bring your own camera.

 

[BasicsFirst]

How do you get back up and get motivated after a really really bad competition ?

Isn't that enough??

I try not to evaluate a comp on the basis of placements or comparisons to other dancers. I evaluate it instead on the basis of meeting my own goals for improvement that I made before the comp.

We agree! (OP didn't define their criteria for a "bad" competition.) Our worst competition this past year we still got 1st place, but we know it was a bad outting.

 

[fire_dancer]

Just a few suggestions, since I think we've all been where you are, and a bad competition can really take the wind from your sails for a while!

Whenever I have a competition, good or bad, there are a few things my amateur partner and I do to help us regroup and move forward.

* Take notes. - After a competition, sit down with your partner and a notepad and take notes on things you both felt. Whether it's things you both felt you did well or things you need to improve on, the time right after a competition is often the time you're most aware of what is going on in your dancing - especially after having danced 'all out' in front of judges, and watching other competitors.

* Take a break. - Yep, that's right! My partner and I like to take one week and, aside from social dancing and the note-taking session, take a small break from our lessons and dancing. I know it sounds counter-productive, but often we find that we're so wound up during the days/weeks going into the competition and during the comp itself that afterward if we don't take a few days off the stress doesn't have time to dissipate. We've actually found that taking a short break after a comp lets us come back to our regular practices with a clear head, and new energy.

* Watch the videos. - Videos and pictures are the best way to see how you did, and have your coach go over them with you. If your comp went badly and you need a quick pick-me-up, then also...

* ....Watch your old videos. Nothing is more exciting than pulling out footage from your first competitions and realizing just how far you've come. Let YOU inspire yourself!