I loathe competition and its introduction in other areas has killed the recreational aspects.
I feel the same way.
However it does seem apparent that AT 'performance' [...] is an attraction. And we don't appear to be able to use that marketing. Instead we seem to wish to market some deeper [social, platonic] attraction, being 'one'...
I really do think it comes back to purism!
The biggest show steps, definitive of the "performance" of which you write, are unsuitable "as is" for close quarters. However, when beginners hire teachers after having seen competitive TV shows, YouTube videos, demos by pros who have the entire room to dance in, and so forth, it's always show steps that they want to learn. Right now, I'm assisting my coach with teaching, and
everybody who walks in that door wants the deep volcadas, the colgadas, the enchained ganchos, the leader spiraling in place throwing patadas and exiting with swift enrosques to back sacadas, etc. Rather than rap them on the knuckles as if to say, "No! Bad dog! We don't do that!", perhaps we should show how those things can be shrunk and tucked inside the abrazo for use at the milonga.
Purists really hate that thought. They see "tango escenario" and "tango fantasia" as something "impure" and totally different from "tango salón" and "tango milonguero," to be discouraged actively not only by teachers refusing to teach it but also by social pressure – i.e., snobbery – on the part of ordinary dancers at the milonga. As a result, they're cutting off tango's nose despite its face . . . because the face of tango is what people see on those TV shows, YouTube videos, and demos, not what they mostly
can't see if they attend a milonga, which intimate conversations hidden between partners.
Anyway, I enjoy my coach's approach. Her students ask her to teach them the flashy thing. She's happy to do so, but shows them the "social" version. My partner and I act as a live demo. We show it both ways . . . and when the students try it the small, social way, they inevitably find it much easier because they aren't professional dance athletes, and then go on their happy way, dancing it politely.
The "No! Bad dog!" approach to teaching is the worst. When teaching, it's just about always best to avoid "no" and "don't" and take the "you could, but a better/safer/easier way is . . ." approach. But purists who teach just love to yap "no" and "don't," which isn't exactly the path to retaining people for the years it takes to feel comfortable in one's body at a crowded milonga.