What makes you cringe in tango?

Maja and Marko's list from this Facebook post:



The only ones I'd disagree with here are (4), with provisos I'll get to, and (7) – I don't personally mind these. It's one song, some recognition for the birthday person, and a bit of fun for others.

For DJ requests, I'd say "it depends." If you know the DJ, and make it a gentle "I was wondering whether you were planning any ..." then I think it's fine. But I gather some people do get more demanding than that, which is cringe for sure.

Ben
I'm opposed to DJ requests as a rule. I never bother the DJ other than to tell them how much I like a particular tanda or the entire night's set. If I really dislike what a DJ plays, I'll skip the milonga. If anything I think we should thank DJs who play a great night's set. Tell them how much you like the music; they'll appreciate it.

I disagree with no. 5 at least in terms of the reasons for rejection. In fact, I'd say it has nothing to do with how you dance and everything to do with other factors. As for lack of immaturity in being rejected, yes, I agree with them. Just live with it, it's not that big a deal.

9 and 10--yes. I dislike birthday dances exceedingly. Also don't think teaching on the floor at a milonga is appropriate.
 
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DJs who play overlong cortinas. I've heard "20 to 40 seconds," "30 to 45 seconds," and "no longer than 60 seconds," and I agree that less than 20 or perhaps even 30 seconds is too short. But . . . 60 seconds? 90? A full song? Yikes. I didn't come to listen to the DJ's jogging playlist or the Best of the 1980s. I came to dance tangos, valses, and milongas.
How about a five-minute salsa break?
 
But the minimum dose is 1/6 V and 1/6 M, and going lower simply isn't fun

I tend to stop playing milongas in the last hour (or after midnight; at the very least, no more traditional/Golden Age ones unless it's Quinteto Pirincho.), unless it's an afternoon milonga, and even then I prefer to finish off with at least three tandas after a milonga tanda.

The word that comes to mind is "monotonous."

If I had a nickel for every time @Rabbit and I commiserated over bland DJs, we'd probably be millionaires.

But . . . 60 seconds? 90? A full song?

Full song DJs are simply incompetent. I tend to let the floor clear fully, pause a few seconds, and slowly fade out the cortina, but sometimes after a particularly intense or high-energy tanda, I give people time to hit the refreshments table, freshen up at the restrooms and engage in a bit of nosh and natter while catching their breath.

Also, a lot of people use that as a strategy to secure partners, trying to keep a cortina dance partner on the floor for the next tanda, ...

This happens so much! Ridiculous.
 
Most times when the DJ plays the whole cortina for a small bunch of dancers, they're usually part of the elite table/organisers' gang/hangers-on. I never let it go on unless a significant proportion of people are dancing it.

Spontaneous is fun but possibly not good. It's complicating the lives of everybody who wants to change partners and benefit from a clear floor for the sake of a few people who decide to dance. I think that it's better for such things to be planned and announced.

I get annoyed when they play a chacarera — it makes my cynical self cackle in glee when a bunch of middle-class (and above) dancers who can afford to fly around for tango events dance a rural folk dance, especially in a private, glitzy venue.

Besides, Zamba is way more elegant anyway. I'd rather dance that. Hopefully I get to spend a good amount of time in classes when I finally save up enough for a trip to Buenos Aires.

Honestly, it could all be solved if the DJ just didn't start playing a tango immediately after the dancing cortina fades out. Let the people who hold on to their partner's hand for the next tanda after dancing the cortina enjoy a sweet, awkward silence.
 
my cringe list would be something like this in no particular order:

1. this specific nuevo tango group in my city, they have cheesy themed milongas, but like I said in previous posts here — I think nuevo style can be cool if the dancers themselves have good regular tango technique and just expanded upon that, but having poor technique + trying the nuevo style which builds upon that just makes it look between silly and cringy.

2. Someone who always writes about tango in super dramatic prose (there’s a popular blogger that always pops up in tango fb groups that comes to mind) + always shilling his books or other content.

3. Super arrogant ego filled tango maestros (I mean we sorta saw the downfall of 2 in the past year and half). Outside of this niche dance, no one knows them, even in Argentina, so the ego just seems so unwarranted. This has a trickle down effect to the rest of the community too, how everyone sees tango dancers are snobby, I think it goes from top down in terms of how their attitude effects the dance and community as a whole even to the lesser teachers and local advanced dancers.

4. Maybe the opposite of nuevo tango, but if a milonga is entirely geriatric and shuffling along in the dance. Good for them for being active and dancing at that old age, but if I took a non tango friend to a milonga that was entirely that i’d cringe and have to explain myself that this is a specific style of the dance and there’s tons of other styles and crowds that’s more exciting (to the non tango dancer anyways, we all know slow shuffling can still be enjoyable).

I guess most of what I consider cringe is just an over exaggeration of the dance in different forms.
 
a milonga is entirely geriatric and shuffling along in the dance. Good for them for being active and dancing at that old age,

Honestly, at that point, it's more about being able to get out of the house and socialise with peers. There's quite a few places in England just like that, and I think it's great that they have their own space to enjoy tea dances and such.
 
I get annoyed when they play a chacarera
Oh, I quite enjoy this. There are YouTube tutorials so anyone can reach the typical level of incompetence with which we dance it. I'd say about 50% of people who dance it have absolutely no clue each time, and it doesn't matter in the slightest – it's just a bit of fun.
 
I guess most of what I consider cringe is just an over exaggeration of the dance in different forms.
Even a well-ordered ronda can be seen as an obsessive exaggeration. There are certainly many dancers, perhaps less advanced but still paying full entrance fee, who see it quite differently. And aren't we all democrats?

I think, on the one hand, one has to recognize and accept practical constraints. A milonga, in general, won't simultaneously offer a beginner-friendly introductory class and an advanced-friendly ronda afterwards. Anyone who believes otherwise is welcome to organize such and report back.

And then one can also ask what the "cringe list" looks like in one's private and professional life. Is everything arranged in such a way that there are enough alternatives to tango dancing? And why exactly isn't there a positive spin-off from one's private circle of friends into tango? Is tango perhaps meant to compensate for deficiencies?
 
Most times when the DJ plays the whole cortina for a small bunch of dancers, they're usually part of the elite table/organisers' gang/hangers-on. I never let it go on unless a significant proportion of people are dancing it.

Sometimes I've been half of the only couple dancing it and TBH we didn't sign up to do an unscheduled performance either, it is just that some people also enjoy dancing other styles and we are just dancing it because we like the music.

It's up to the DJ to decide whether it's contributing to the energy/flow of the milonga or not and when to cut it, I certainly don't have an expectation.
 
Even a well-ordered ronda can be seen as an obsessive exaggeration. There are certainly many dancers, perhaps less advanced but still paying full entrance fee, who see it quite differently. And aren't we all democrats?

I think, on the one hand, one has to recognize and accept practical constraints. A milonga, in general, won't simultaneously offer a beginner-friendly introductory class and an advanced-friendly ronda afterwards. Anyone who believes otherwise is welcome to organize such and report back.
I mean two of the most advanced milongas in this city are preceded by beginner classes
 
How about a five-minute salsa break?
I prefer that to a 90-second salsa cortina, if it's done right: [tango, vals, or milonga tanda][cortina][salsa break][cortina][tango, vals, or milonga tanda]. Treat it like another tanda, even if it isn't structured as a tanda per se. Gives me time to change my shirt.
I tend to stop playing milongas in the last hour
I suppose I just don't get it. Near the end of the evening, the horde of more casual/less diehard dancers has left, so there's more space. Everybody who remains is well warmed up. That's when I'd most expect to dance to high-energy music. Up until then, I've been moving 3 metres per tanda because it's crowded, so it isn't as if I'm out of energy – in fact, I feel bottled up and ready to go!
I tend to let the floor clear fully, pause a few seconds, and slowly fade out the cortina
Best answer.
Most times when the DJ plays the whole cortina for a small bunch of dancers, they're usually part of the elite table/organisers' gang/hangers-on. I never let it go on unless a significant proportion of people are dancing it.
Also a great answer. This is the truth of the matter as I've experienced it.
I get annoyed when they play a chacarera — it makes my cynical self cackle in glee when a bunch of middle-class (and above) dancers who can afford to fly around for tango events dance a rural folk dance, especially in a private, glitzy venue.
:) That's exactly how I see it. Playing a structured rural folk dance at an event for an improvised urban salon dance is straight out of Bizarro World for me. Sort of like attending a jazz show and having a musical pause where a jug band plays old-timey standards.
Someone who always writes about tango in super dramatic prose (there’s a popular blogger that always pops up in tango fb groups that comes to mind) + always shilling his books or other content.
I know exactly who you mean . . .
I think it goes from top down in terms of how their attitude effects the dance and community as a whole even to the lesser teachers and local advanced dancers.
Snobby maestros are the seeds from which a snobby tango community grows. Fortunately, there are also non-snobby maestros. A recent, reasonably well-known visitor here hung out at the bar with the rest of us, danced with all levels, and said, "Awesome evening!" and hugged people at closing time, without his presence being announced or any mention of his availability for private lessons.
if a milonga is entirely geriatric and shuffling along in the dance. Good for them for being active and dancing at that old age
I have mixed feelings.

My style is high-energy, dynamic, and mobile. I mark most accents, use many changes of direction, and advance down the line of dance with long steps, progressive turns, cadenas, etc. Particularly in vals, I like a constant flow, frequently mixing up 1-2-1, 1-3-1, and 1-2-3 phrasing. I feel suffocated when people in front of me aren't moving simply because they cannot, even if they wanted to.

On the other hand, I'm almost 60, so that'll probably be me in 15-20 years. Some of my favorite dance partners are over 80. And yes, I can appreciate pauses and just breathing.

I resolve it by not going to dance at the most geriatric place in town, and avoiding the runner-up place except when I'm sort of tired and won't be dancing at full energy anyway.
Honestly, at that point, it's more about being able to get out of the house and socialise with peers.
That's part of my tango life now, at age 58! I've had a boring work-from-home desk job for the past 30+ years. If it weren't for tango, I'd have no social life. The "social" in "social dance" is as important as the "dance" part for me.
Even a well-ordered ronda can be seen as an obsessive exaggeration. There are certainly many dancers, perhaps less advanced but still paying full entrance fee, who see it quite differently. And aren't we all democrats?
Despite my frequent rants about floorcraft, we agree here with one qualification: When chaos in the ronda is caused by less advanced dancers, yes, I accept it and move on. However, reality is that it is far, far more often due to more advanced dancers deciding that they have the right to more floor – and indeed the right of way in general – and outright taking the ronda from less advanced ones. That doesn't seem very democratic to me . . . it inconveniences less advanced dancers the most.
And then one can also ask what the "cringe list" looks like in one's private and professional life. Is everything arranged in such a way that there are enough alternatives to tango dancing? And why exactly isn't there a positive spin-off from one's private circle of friends into tango? Is tango perhaps meant to compensate for deficiencies?
Some of us lack the financial wherewithal and free time to accommodate multiple interests, and moreover have personal limitations (neurology, health, health of a partner, family obligations, etc.) that largely block easy resolution of that situation. We have space for one major interest, and we choose tango because it offers physical, mental, emotional, and social stimulation in one convenient package. I wouldn't describe it as compensatory but as practical and realistic: "I'm not privileged enough to choose two from column A, one from column B, one from column C, and three from column D. I can have one from A and one from C, and I'll choose the best ones."

Not an attack on you, but: Much of the perceived "snobbery" in tango comes from privileged people who can arrange their private and professional lives with ease to have tango as one of many interests, and who casually dismiss people who have to fight harder to have less – and who choose tango as their prize – as being somehow second-class or "people with deficiencies." That's pretty cringe right there.

Democratic should include accepting that travel, two other dances, a couple of sports, a mostly paid-for residence, a vehicle or two, and so on is a privileged rarity, and not trying to normalize it as "what tango dancers mostly have."
Sometimes I've been half of the only couple dancing it and TBH we didn't sign up to do an unscheduled performance either, it is just that some people also enjoy dancing other styles and we are just dancing it because we like the music.
To be honest: Me, too. I just don't think the DJ should leave my favorite disco tune (there, I said it) play for 2 1/2 minutes while everybody watches me get down tonight.
It's up to the DJ to decide whether it's contributing to the energy/flow of the milonga or not and when to cut it, I certainly don't have an expectation.
Exactly!
 
That's when I'd most expect to dance to high-energy music.

High energy/emotionally intense tangos, my dear friend! And valses, if only because I love them so much, unlike many other DJs. I'd rather not make 50% of the remaining dancers sit and watch an already emptier pista if I can.

We have space for one major interest, and we choose tango

That's all well and good, but when some dancers make it the centre of their lives to the point that they're essentially doing nothing but dancing tango, travelling for tango, posting about tango — that obsession, I find utterly cringe.

Off the top of my head, I can rattle off enough songs to last a few hours, name their orquestas and singers, and hum or sing extracts all the way to whole songs (if I like them enough). It's simply ridiculous that someone who claims to live for tango can't do the same. I'm not even expecting them to order those songs in proper tandas for a coherent, balanced setlist of three or four hours.

And let's not even forget how many self-proclaimed tango fanatics know so little about the history, culture and traditions behind the people and the songs. It's sad, really, how tango is reduced to movements and the aural aspect of the music.
 

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