What sorcery is this?

Naddrin Kentlar

Naddrin Kentlar

Active Member
A couple of weeks ago at a single milonga I've participated to, at some marathon.

Dancing with one of my favorites, very chill and relaxed towards the end of the milonga.

Then this happens: somehow I feel drawn by her into a flow with a very pleasant dynamic, yet the flow/dynamic were unfamiliar to me. Major surprise was when I realized that I'm leading that ... whatever we were doing.

This lasted for about 10-15 seconds where due to my surprise and attempt to understand what's happening, most likely I've broken the magic. Dance continued in a very pleasant way, being one of the top tandas of the evening.

- it was not back leading where the follower has preferences that she enforces and provides the energy for enforcement
- it was not negotiated movement, where our bodies negociate in real time on which is the appropriate flow our couple will take

- it felt it was coming from her
- and I am quite sure I was leading that

So, what title says: what sorcery is this?
 
Naddrin Kentlar said:
what sorcery is this?
Click to expand...
Being tired and just sinking back into your default memory of learned moves. I've sometimes had that when pre-occupied with some technical, work-related, issue but have gone out dancing for some downtime. I've done some dances as if I'm not there, but then been complimented on how good they were. Not really been overly aware of what I should be doing; almost like being above the floor and observing. It also works in reverse: you're doing something else and your brain comes up with a solution (used to really annoy my wife on a night out).

Sometimes it's better not to think too much and just let it flow to the music.
 
I had an experience with similarities. For me, I think being tired removed some layers in my thinking. I like this analogy that just popped into mind: More layers in a Machine Learning Neural Network does not necessarily mean better! Here is a repost from my Not Touchy Feely thread, describing my experience:

Did the Tango Distance Get the Tango Tingles?
Here is an old post from my thread:
Gina Tangoes said:
Oh totally, I completely understand some women love their guys to be a bit insecure! I'm just saying for me it kills those tango tingles ;)


I was working late before my trip. It was 3 a.m. late for multiple nights, but I had to get things done. There will be plenty of time to sleep once I’m dead, uh, I mean when I’m done early each night and get to bed early to catch up on sleep. Naturally each day was rich… full… awesome… and long. I’d get to my hotel late, and then have to do yet some more work via my laptop computer.

I had looked up Tango opportunities before the trip. For a major metropolitan area, there was not much Tango listed, but there was a milonga listed my last night there. I could sleep on the plane, right? I Uber’d the 6.6 kilometers to what was surely the wrong address – it was just a house in a neighborhood. I had the Uber driver double check, it was the right address. I double checked the listed address, it matched. Then I saw a dancing couple, and realized I was at the right place after all.

My arrival made me male #3 with about 8 females, and the night was ½ over. Dancing with one lady went very well. She said she did steps with me she had never done before. She had followed so well I thought she had done them many times. She even said she hoped her daughter would meet someone like me.

The night wound down and I asked that lady again to finish. It was going well. Maybe being so tired was a part of it. I felt pleasantly tingly. BTW I think I am a bit of a synesthete (someone who can mirror other’s sensations, such as feeling hand pain when they see another hurt a hand). What was new for me was feeling like the pleasant tingles surrounded us both, like we were both in the same large egg shell of tingles. It seemed perfectly natural and felt good. I didn’t even think of it as being a strange thing. I think being tired was part of it. Sometimes I feel pleasantly tingly if I’m very tired as I fall asleep. I think I must have been very tired to not go <slap!> <slap!> “TD! You are a man of science! Wake up! There is no way your college physics textbook could explain that you could somehow perceive that lady was also feeling pleasantly tingly at the same time!” The night ended, I thanked the ladies, the DJ, and the host; the ladies expressed sorrow I was there just for one night; and away I went.

It was some days later I suddenly realized that was a new experience for me and maybe a little weird, perceiving that I was sharing a pleasant tingly experience with someone else. For the record, no alcohol or drugs were involved. I don’t actually know if this lady felt the same thing, it seemed so natural at that moment (and maybe it was that tired thing) it didn’t occur to me to ask, but she did seem to greatly enjoy our two tandas and was very appreciative.

Has anyone had a similar experience?
 
Naddrin Kentlar - what you describe sounds to me like the state of Flow. In Tango I find that focusing persistently on the position of the follower's legs or on the music helps me achieve something similar to what you describe.

Tango Distance - what you describe to me reminds the state known in some meditation traditions as jhanas. Especially the tingling sensation and the perceived dissolution of the me-others distinction.

If my post encourages anyone to pursue a serious meditation practice, I strongly recommend that you first learn about the associated risks. Two great sources for that are
  1. The book 'The Dark Side of Dharma'
  2. The paper 'Adverse events in meditation practices and meditation-based therapies: a systematic review'
 
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Naddrin Kentlar said:
A couple of weeks ago at a single milonga I've participated to, at some marathon.

Dancing with one of my favorites, very chill and relaxed towards the end of the milonga.

Then this happens: somehow I feel drawn by her into a flow with a very pleasant dynamic, yet the flow/dynamic were unfamiliar to me. Major surprise was when I realized that I'm leading that ... whatever we were doing.

This lasted for about 10-15 seconds where due to my surprise and attempt to understand what's happening, most likely I've broken the magic. Dance continued in a very pleasant way, being one of the top tandas of the evening.

- it was not back leading where the follower has preferences that she enforces and provides the energy for enforcement
- it was not negotiated movement, where our bodies negociate in real time on which is the appropriate flow our couple will take

- it felt it was coming from her
- and I am quite sure I was leading that

So, what title says: what sorcery is this?
Click to expand...

For me this sounds like a peace of good intuitive dancing! :)

When I am learning a sequence, my leading is controlling the process but when the sequence is fully established the process can run on it's own.

My process and her process (lead/follow) are meeting and we just observe, enjoy what is happening.
 
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