Why is there so much drama in life???

[SPratt74]

I was wondering why there was so much drama in real life. I guess to me as adults, you would think that people would get over the drama. But I noticed in the workplace and dance even that even as adults people like to cause drama but why?

I guess with coming from a big family and all we were taught not to meddle in other people's lives because we always had a lot going on etc. And I used that theory being an adult, because to me I have too much to worry about than to worry about what other people do. And this has worked to my advantage millions of times it seems. In fact, to give an example there was one job that I had that you know had a bunch of kids working there etc., and there was drama over a bunch of girls and a guy that worked there. Well, I told everyone that I was staying out of it, and they all ended up getting fired because the boss did not want that kind of activity going on inside the store. And to this day this boss has told me that I was welcomed back if I ever needed a job. I've had other jobs where I've stayed away from the drama, and I would be the few that were there the longest etc.

So, I don't get it. Why do people worry so much about what other people do? Are they that insecure with themselves, and try to put the stronger people down? Don't they know that strong people will only make themselves that much stronger? And what about karma? I believe in karma. To me what goes around comes around, and I've seen it happen far too much in my life to believe otherwise.

I guess that I just think as adults that there should be no reason to cause drama. Why put that much stress on yourself? Do you need that kind of excitement to make your life that much more interesting? There are more beneficial and helpful ways to make your life more interesting than that.

And I should say that by drama I don't mean by talking about things that have happened in your own life and then having something go out of control. What I mean by drama in this case is by mettling in other people's lives as to which you have no business being a part in especially if they did not want your opinion or your precense in the first place as to which your real concern was to hurt the people involved in order to boost up your own self-esteem. However, if you put yourself out there then that's a different story all together. Then you shouldn't expect anything less, because it was basically an open invitation on your part I believe.

But again why? I just don't get why.

 

[hamstersphere]

Insecurity. One hundred percent insecurity.

 

[bordertangoman]

Insecurity. One hundred percent insecurity.

105 percent more like.

 

[fascination]

the way that I stay away from it is to avoid people who tend to like to live that way, and to isolate myself whe I sense that I am on the verge of being that way...I think anyone who is honest with themselves is able to answer this question simply by analyzing their own bad behavior...we all do it to some degree at some time...some just show less restraint than others...I think it more useful to monitor myself and deal with what I do have control over than to ponder why someone else behaves in a particular way b/c unless one asks and is given the answer, it really isn't very productive or healthy

 

[mamboqueen]

couldn't have said it better....just take a left turn when I see the drama coming.

 

[SPratt74]

the way that I stay away from it is to avoid people who tend to like to live that way, and to isolate myself whe I sense that I am on the verge of being that way...I think anyone who is honest with themselves is able to answer this question simply by analyzing their own bad behavior...we all do it to some degree at some time...some just show less restraint than others...I think it more useful to monitor myself and deal with what I do have control over than to ponder why someone else behaves in a particular way b/c unless one asks and is given the answer, it really isn't very productive or healthy

That's very true. It's just always a shock though when it happens, because it's usually someone that you have cared about and trusted. But then afterwards to me it's like oh well.

What's interesting though is that I thought about last night, and this is what I came up with too. The people that try to befriend you right away you know are overly eager to become your friend usually have an agenda, and you usually don't find out about it until later until after the drama unfolds. The people that I noticed that were my worst enemies are the only ones that I really have any trust in. They weren't my friends to begin with in other words, but after some ordeal we became the best of friends.

For example, I dated a guy for years that was a good looking guy. The women that tried to befriend me right away had something they wanted from me or from him or from us. The ones that didn't I'm still friends with. It's interesting that the ones that befriended me were the ones that caused the most drama where the ones that didn't really talk to me or didn't like me to start with I'm still close to now to this day.

It just amazes me how as adults we still act this way. And the only one that it really affects longer than a second is the person that started the drama to begin with, because they have to live with the guilt of starting the drama in the first place while the others move on with their lives. I'm still friends with my x and the girls that didn't start the drama. It's just interesting to me, but I've always liked Psychology though lol.

But you are right fascination. It's best not to dwell on anything and to look at yourself, which is why in the long haul I have become a stronger person. No one has stopped me from anything that I've wanted to do or will do in the future. It just you know at the time affects you for like a second, especially when it's someone you once were friends with. But after that, well... that's when the karma kicks in lol!

 

[Me]

Ballroom tends to draw in a group of people who are looking for something other than dance - for most of those people, that something they seek is to be around other people.

These people simply do not know how to behave around adults, and many revert to a high school level of communication, because that is, quite simply, where their interactions with large groups of people left off.

Some of these people are worse than others - they simply have nothing interesting in their grey little lives, so they decide to create something. These 'pot stirrers' are the types that my coach used to, without so much as a warning, kick out of his studio and ask never to come back. He lost business over it, but he retained a strong following of mostly decently behaved adults because of it.

(My two cents as to why some adults in ballroom communities behave like whiny, greedy little kids.)

 

[fascination]

am not sure OP is referring to the ballroom community...nor am I sure that there is anything particularly unique to the ballroom community about such behavior...

 

[SPratt74]

am not sure OP is referring to the ballroom community...nor am I sure that there is anything particularly unique to the ballroom community about such behavior...

Yeah I wasn't specific, because it was just a generalization about life that I got to thinking about. You know it's one of those thoughts that came to mind. So, the topic could really include anything from work to dance to whatever. It's interesting I think. I love hearing what people have to say, and Me did make sense relating to dance. I wonder if the work world is similar. Family life I don't think so much unless it's a cousin or something like that maybe? I haven't really thought about that.

 

[Laura]

Personally, I think a little drama can be fun and interesting. I mean really, who hasn't ever Ever EVER gossiped a little?

And as for the question as stated in the thread title: "Why is there so much drama in life?" It's because life is interesting, unpredictable, difficult, complex, confusing, and therefore dramatic. With no drama in life we are but little cogs of society doing exactly what is expected when and how it is expected. With no drama in life, life is boring.

That is how I would answer the question in the topic line of this thread, based on my reading of the word "drama." However, SPratt74 clearly meant something specific about human inter-personal behavior when she used the word "drama." She wasn't referring to the overall theater of humanity that is life (as Shakespeare put it, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players....").

Is the real question "why are some people two-faced malicious gossips who like to stir things up and hurt other people's feelings?"

If so, my answer to that is that these people are so wrapped up in themselves and their little insecurities that they can't see the greater and far more interesting and satisfying overarching drama of life itself. They don't see a world bigger than them, and so stir things up to feel good about themselves and make themselves be a star in a little play of their own making. They have hurts and insecurities inside and the only way they can deal with them is to pass those hurts and insecurities on to others. One can either buy into their drama (and possibly get dramatic themselves and either participate or become all angst-ridden about it) or one can just shake one's head and giggle and go "ha, look at that!" or (most commonly) one can feel the stings, be hurt a little, then realize what is going on and find a constructive way to release it so that it passes away and doesn't harm oneself.

 

[Pacion]

Is the real question "why are some people two-faced malicious gossips who like to stir things up and hurt other people's feelings?"

Yep, I agree on that and likewise, perhaps they feel that they have so little going on in their lives (obviously never tried walking on grass barefooted!) that they try to pull the wind out of other people's sails.

The Desderata was written for a reason...

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.</STRONG>

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their own story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Written by Max Ehrmann; © 1927

 

[mamboqueen]

Everyone is the way they are for reasons most of which are beyond my comprehension. I think one can only try to figure out what makes themselves tick and work on their own self improvement. I like to think that mean or malicious people have something going on that makes them that way and try to be sympathetic and understanding. I can't imagine anyone *wants* to be that way. We all have our baggage. If you try to find the good in people, you'll usually find something.

 

[fascination]

and the opposite is true as well...

 

[fascination]

Personally, I think a little drama can be fun and interesting. I mean really, who hasn't ever Ever EVER gossiped a little?

And as for the question as stated in the thread title: "Why is there so much drama in life?" It's because life is interesting, unpredictable, difficult, complex, confusing, and therefore dramatic. With no drama in life we are but little cogs of society doing exactly what is expected when and how it is expected. With no drama in life, life is boring.

That is how I would answer the question in the topic line of this thread, based on my reading of the word "drama." However, SPratt74 clearly meant something specific about human inter-personal behavior when she used the word "drama." She wasn't referring to the overall theater of humanity that is life (as Shakespeare put it, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players....").

Is the real question "why are some people two-faced malicious gossips who like to stir things up and hurt other people's feelings?"

If so, my answer to that is that these people are so wrapped up in themselves and their little insecurities that they can't see the greater and far more interesting and satisfying overarching drama of life itself. They don't see a world bigger than them, and so stir things up to feel good about themselves and make themselves be a star in a little play of their own making. They have hurts and insecurities inside and the only way they can deal with them is to pass those hurts and insecurities on to others. One can either buy into their drama (and possibly get dramatic themselves and either participate or become all angst-ridden about it) or one can just shake one's head and giggle and go "ha, look at that!" or (most commonly) one can feel the stings, be hurt a little, then realize what is going on and find a constructive way to release it so that it passes away and doesn't harm oneself.

mmm...sad, but true

 

[Pacion]

I think one can only try to figure out what makes themselves tick and work on their own self improvement. I like to think that mean or malicious people have something going on that makes them that way and try to be sympathetic and understanding. I can't imagine anyone *wants* to be that way. We all have our baggage.

MQ, I agree, with a BIG *but*. Personally, or maybe it is the stage at my life where I am at just now, I can only be <....so.....> "sympathetic and understanding". After a while, I have to (make that need to) turn a blind ear and eye............. because I have more than enough of my own drama going on, and baggage to carry, that I can't do it any more for other people beyond a certain period of time, especially when, in my opinion, it is self-created drama by someone who is in otherwise sound mind and health.