Did you decide to participate in this event?
Well, one night down; one night left to go. Tonight was smooth. Next Friday is rhythm.
I have very, very mixed reactions. Overall, it is a huge messy ordeal due to hair, makeup, mask, dress, etc., with what feels like precious little payoff in exchange - and don’t forget I am PAYING to participate in this messy ordeal. But opportunities for live performing are few and far between, so even though tonight basically sucked, I’ll go next week also.
Pro had emphasized several times that tonight was intended as a “fun” dance night - no instruction, no judges, no scores, just an opportunity to perform in full comp attire, get experience sharing the floor with other couples, etc. He warned me at my lesson yesterday that he’d be “throwing things” at me - doing unexpected moves & leading steps I didn’t know. I said, “sure, bring it on,” & reassured him I wasn’t gonna freak out when I got something wrong.
So I was under no illusions that I would dance well tonight, but I wasn’t stressed about it, because it was just supposed to be FUN and a good way to gain important experience.
I was in 8 heats (2 each W/T/F/V) out of the total of 72 heats. And of course my first heat was #1. No prep at all. It was rocky, but not the worst waltz I’ve ever danced.
Next was FT. I had a lot of trouble following his lead. His energy felt different so I wasn’t reading his signals right. It reminded me of a social dance I attended at the studio
a few decades ago back in February, and someone led a FT without me recognizing a single step.
Next was tango. This was our best dance at the recent virtual comp, and it started off okay...but then he led a move that we had JUST learned earlier this week. Unfortunately I didn’t recognize it at all. When that became obvious to him, he clamped his arm around my waist from behind and PUT me where I was supposed to have gone. That provided a short-term fix, but didn’t solve the underlying problem of me not knowing what we were supposed to be doing.
Next was VW - still my favorite. It’s my newest & therefore roughest, but so what? Pro says it’s a dance where you can - and should - be over-the-top expressive. Exaggerated sways & arm movements. And from the first 3 steps, I could tell he was gonna be silly with this one, so I just went with it. I matched his mood and it worked. He led some stuff I didn’t know, but somehow I “felt” what I should do and it worked. After that heat he grinned & said “you stayed with me! Very good!”
And it was all downhill from there.
Next was VW again, but the spell had ended. I was doing okay keeping up with him until he led a new move that - just like in tango - we had JUST learned earlier this week. I didn’t recognize it until it was too late. I thought it was a different step, so I started to move the way I would on that step, turning in front of him and raising my arm. He grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm down, wrapped his other arm tightly around my waist, and held me in that
straightjacket shadow/cuddle position for almost two beats before we could get back in with the music. Looks very awkward on the video... more like wrestling than dancing.
Next was tango again. Some of the moves went fine; he didn’t try the new one I messed up on earlier; but in the video you can see us stumble over each other’s feet a few times, and see him jerk his right elbow upwards to remind me to tighten up my frame.
Next was another hoooorrrrrrible FT. I mean, really horrible. He hissed at me, “really? THIS is how that goes?” And “YOU follow ME. THIS is the tempo.” And “I’m not kidding around.” And “STAY. WITH. ME.” ...all accompanied by cold, narrowed eyes and tightened grip.
As soon as the music ended I pulled away from him. Dude - wtf happened to no-pressure fun? I was tempted to leave after that dance, but decided to stay for my final heat. Another waltz: mechanical without being precise, and distinctly un-graceful.
I had already changed my shoes & was picking up my purse to leave as soon as the final heat ended. He came over to hug me goodbye, and it took him a couple seconds to realize that I was standing motionless, not responding. He pulled back to look at me, then said, after a pause, “ok, have a great weekend, and I’ll see you next week on...on...”
“Whenever,” I said curtly.
He continued, “on Wednesday, I think?”
I shook my head impatiently. “Whatever.” Then I exited through the side door. Couldn’t get out of there quickly enough.
The funny thing is, I’m not angry or hurt about this. I’m definitely put off, but mainly baffled. Wtf was the deal tonight? I texted DH before my final heat to tell him I was dancing poorly and that Pro was being a [bleep] about it. “I was actually having fun despite my [bleep] dancing until he turned into an [bleep]. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he must have had a long ugly week.”
My main takeaway from this experience is that I would NOT choose to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a mini-match. Probably never. It’s not fun/enjoyable/rewarding, it’s not a competition with judges and feedback, it’s not enough dancing to be good exercise, it sure as hell doesn’t strengthen my relationship with my teacher, so....um....?
P.S. Rereading this, it sounds like Pro is manhandling me or something. He is not. There is NOTHING inappropriate or overly forceful in the way he leads, so don’t misinterpret any of my descriptions above.
dancing in masks is still not fun, but I’m getting used to them, and used to seeing them on others. I’ve figured out different ways to hold my mouth slightly open underneath to breathe more easily. And it’s actually kind of fun to see all the various styles and levels of decoration that people choose to wear. And honestly, it can be useful to have a mask concealing things like, just hypothetically, sticking out one’s tongue at one’s snarky pro, if one happens to be so inclined.
)
