Appropriate vs Inappropriate Lead Gaging

[Tango Distance]

Be Present and other followers, would this work for you for sneaking up on a tough step?
I mentioned (leader's perspective) step right, weight change, diagonal step to the left is a bit hit-and-miss for my leading. Here is how I try to sneak up on it, I'm not sure how much it helps, please comment. All steps are from the leader's perspective. I'm going to skip the in-between steps. I usually do these as part of a box step.

• Step right, weight change, step back.
• Step right, weight change, step to the right again.
• Step right, weight change, step diagonally left, done quickly.
• Step right, weight change, step diagonally left, done slowly.

 

[Tango Distance]

There is some business research that says you should have about 5 compliments for every negative https://hbr.org/2013/03/the-ideal-praise-to-criticism. Couples who do more critiques than positives are at high risk of divorce. I have long heard children need more compliments and saw similar 5:1 numbers.

We humans seem to need lots of positive reinforcement.

Steering it to dance: When I meet a new follower, I am often asked how I got started in Tango, or something along the line of "I can tell you enjoy Tango." They are surprised to hear me say that it took me a while to warm up to Tango (I don't burden them with my hugging issues), that I did it to be a good husband, and that at first I only wanted to dance with my dear wife. I can say compliments and praise were hugely helpful to keeping me going, and especially helpful with my forays into dancing with others and then doing close embrace.

I have enough history I can now look at critiques more dispassionately. I also give many compliments and few critiques.

Criticism, however merited and however polite, will drive away a significant percentage of students: Those who believe that paying money for a leisure activity – as contrasted with things like driver education, and certifications and degrees that they can parlay into future earnings – entitles them to a uniformly positive, even fun experience. They receive criticism poorly and walk away from that teacher, who now has less business (and who, if they work for a studio and cost it enough business, might be asked to leave and lose a job . . . yes, I've seen this). "Serious" learners will understand that criticism is part of what they paid for and, as long as it is polite and constructive, appreciate and learn from it. But let's not delude ourselves into believing that serious learners make up even a significant minority in the typical tango class.

 

[Brummbaer]

So you are the guy that holds and chokes the ronda at the entry points A couple that enters the ronda and doesn’t move; blocks the couple already in the line of dance behind them and other couple in the line waiting to enter. It causes big traffic jam.

I do realise I can't spend 30 seconds waiting if the song has already started, but 10 seconds of dancing on the spot won't kill a person.

I hadn't really thought about this previously, but it can be an a problem if it's a cumulative sequence on entry. Not everyone prepares at the same time. You enter the ronda, and prepare - holding up the next, who enter the ronda and prepare - holding up ....

I don't go as far as consciously synchronising breathing, but I do prepare. It's annoying to be in the ronda when there's some couple ahead still continuing their discussion, or many sequentially taking forever to prepare.

I tend to enter a crowded ronda prepared to dance, having 'prepared' whilst waiting. I hope that, if in the ronda, I note others ahead and behind me when preparing.

In Einstein's explanation of relativity, 10 seconds can appear to be a long or short time - especially if you're waiting.

 

[JournalInTime]

We humans seem to need lots of positive reinforcement.

It'll depend on the human, I imagine!

I approach all learning opportunities – first-aid courses when I was young, quantum field theory courses in university, figuring out the manual for my new coffee machine, learning French by immersion, preparation for a court appearance, and yes, tango – with equal intensity. Some things are serious, some are boring, and some are fun, but in all cases, my aim is to listen, read, and/or watch intently, make whatever errors are acceptable, and take any and all criticism as part of the learning experience. I know I'm going to be terrible early on and I expect to be called out on that so I can improve; I remind myself, "You chose to be here, so deal."

So, there are times when I forget that not all tango dancers see learning tango that way. Probably another reason why I'd be a bad teacher.

 

[JournalInTime]

I hadn't really thought about this previously, but it can be an a problem if it's a cumulative sequence on entry.

Yep. I was taught:

• When you enter the ronda, you look the approaching leader in the eye and await permission to enter.

• Once you get permission, you enter quickly and walk immediately. Anything else is rude to that person and – if everybody did it – to all the people behind them.

• To enter quickly, use a salon-style salida that moves you into the ronda with eye contact and then turns your couple toward the line of dance in one count. Don't fuss around with sidesteps, never mind figures, when you should be walking.

• Use the first musical pause after you enter the ronda to adjust and settle into the embrace. That's part of what pauses are for.

It's annoying to be in the ronda when there's some couple ahead still continuing their discussion, or many sequentially taking forever to prepare.

Discussion in the line of dance is so controversial. Some dancers claim it's traditional, but they overlook that it's a tradition that dates to an era when that was the only time to talk with a member of the opposite sex unchaperoned. I find it highly annoying – especially when it's people who are clearly acquaintances if not friends, and they're taking separate tanda-long pauses at tables and on sofas. Why not sit down together to catch up? No tango chaperon is going to put you in tango jail in 2024.

It's one of those things that works only if everybody agrees to it and does it. Most people do not do it, so even one chatty couple can hold up dozens of non-chatty couples.

 

[Be Present]

Be Present and other followers, would this work for you for sneaking up on a tough step?
I mentioned (leader's perspective) step right, weight change, diagonal step to the left is a bit hit-and-miss for my leading. Here is how I try to sneak up on it, I'm not sure how much it helps, please comment. All steps are from the leader's perspective. I'm going to skip the in-between steps. I usually do these as part of a box step.

• Step right, weight change, step back.
• Step right, weight change, step to the right again.
• Step right, weight change, step diagonally left, done quickly.
• Step right, weight change, step diagonally left, done slowly.

What might you be leading into with this sequence? If i am seeing envisioning this correctly, when you step diagonal left on your right leg you would then be outside partner in parallel system? you have done a big build up and I think I would be aware that the leader is building to something.

With all the back and side steps, and especially with a slow diagonal left step, i would be aware that, unless you continue outside partner to cross, you are trying to get us in sync for more than something basic.

I would say that in my experience, most leaders don’t do much in the way of signaling that something “big” is coming. So if you are giving some warning, followers likely appreciate it, especially beginners and earlier intermediates. Or possibly they gauge how much “warning “ a follower needs as they gauge the follower’s ability level.

Feel free to give a bit more detail.

 

[Be Present]

I think it's pretty simple:

Are you dancing at a milonga, ball, encuentro, marathon, etc.? Do not teach, explain, justify, or judge, even if your partner asks. They might ask . . . but answering within earshot of others can ruin the mood for them. Dance and thank your partner afterward. It isn't judging to give effusive thanks for a superior tanda; it is judging to not so much as thank your partner, or to critique them in parting, for a tanda you didn't enjoy.

Are you at a práctica? You may share thoughts and constructive criticism with a partner who is practicing with you and who has established that they are looking for feedback (regardless of relative level). You may teach and explain only to someone who either is clearly your student or has asked you do that (also regardless of relative level). If the other person has not requested feedback, teaching, or explanation, do not offer it – dance, thank your partner, and leave it at that. Still do not justify or judge! Being at a práctica doesn't turn everyone into a teacher or make uninvited comments acceptable; plenty of people treat it as a less formal milonga (which is why most prácticas here are now "practilongas").

Are you taking a class or workshop? You may express thoughts and constructive criticism to your current partner (regardless of relative level). You may teach and explain only if you are a teacher. Still do not justify or judge.

Are you putting on a demo or show, or competing? Do not say a word to your partner! The audience and/or judges will surely express their feelings – that's part and parcel of the deal, so don't do these activities if you're thin-skinned. Judges must judge. Nobody should be teaching or explaining, however.

I think these tips are good.

 

[Tango Distance]

If i am seeing envisioning this correctly, when you step diagonal left on your right leg you would then be outside partner in parallel system?

That's correct.

you have done a big build up and I think I would be aware that the leader is building to something.

The something here is the side step, weight transfer, and then diagonal step. Some followers will hop with the side step -- great fun! 2 or more of these can be chained together, and sometimes it fits to slow down the last diagonal step to fit the music.

Interestingly, the teacher (follower half of the couple) followed perfectly but didn't recognize they had taught this step when I did it with her at a milonga (I did do it way bigger and faster than they had taught it).

I would say that in my experience, most leaders don’t do much in the way of signaling that something “big” is coming. So if you are giving some warning, followers likely appreciate it, especially beginners and earlier intermediates. Or possibly they gauge how much “warning “ a follower needs as they gauge the follower’s ability level.

I had a class where the basic message was "stiffen the embrace to indicate something bigger or faster is about to occur." People struggled, myself included, and then I suddenly got it.

An instructor's classes I have really enjoyed teaches pauses during the 1st lesson. He teaches to not just stop, but to relax and assume a little tiny bit of a fetal posture. You can then explode, or slowly, go into a little tiny bit of a ballroom posture (opposite of a fetal posture, I'll coin a new word, "contrafetal") to indicate fast or big or bold. It is a nice, subtle way to communicate these things.

An interesting variation: I struggled with walking on the beat with a sudden transition to walking with steps twice as fast. I took a class on contrabody, and it took me some time to be milonga ready. I then found I could switch to double time steps easily, even with 1st day beginners, by leading with a moment of exaggerated contrabody. The instructor I mentioned does the same thing by lifting his arms a bit (a consequence of going from fetal to contrafetal). His method works great, too. These have been fun tools, it can be big, bold, and flashy with an exaggerated contrabody lead, or a smooth and subtle speed up with his lead.

 

[opendoor]

..Are you putting on a demo or show, or competing? Do not say a word to your partner! The audience and/or judges will surely express their feelings – that's part.. of the deal..

To be honest, I don't really understand it, JiT. My dance partner usually developed the performance in equal parts. When dancing socially, I lead spontaneously and of course alone. But in the case of a show case or competition, however, it is a collaboration of the two of us. I don't have to prove anything to my dance partner, we just have to convince the audience or the judges!

 

[opendoor]

..I would not completely rule out the possibility that you are right..

But which follower wants be reduced to a rack like that?

 

[opendoor]

..Feel free to give a bit more detail.

Concerning me: Next weekend Balloon Tango Marathon and in July somewhere at the milongas about Lake Constance.

 

[opendoor]

..had a class where the basic message was "stiffen the embrace to indicate something bigger is about to occur."

Honestly, what a nonsense. Everything in tango is equally important and big. And if you want to perform off-axis moves, you should relax your shoulders instead of stiffening. There is no “big” only correct leading technique. Maybe you should change the teacher, he has disqualified himself enormously!

 

[JournalInTime]

To be honest, I don't really understand it, JiT. My dance partner usually developed the performance in equal parts. When dancing socially, I lead spontaneously and of course alone. But in the case of a show case or competition, however, it is a collaboration of the two of us. I don't have to prove anything to my dance partner, we just have to convince the audience or the judges!

What my comment was saying is that dancing in front of an audience isn't the time to have an argument. I'd love to say I've never seen this happen, but I've seen this happen.

 

[JournalInTime]

And if you want to perform off-axis moves, you should relax your shoulders instead of stiffening.

I have to agree.

I was taught that the larger the amplitude of the movement and the more weight you have to bear during it, the more relaxed you must be to do it without harm to your partner. You do have to establish solidity in the floor and presence toward your partner, and, if the movement has no dissociation, you also have to "block" your partner's torso. Someone could read one of those things (solidity, presence, or blocking) as "stiffening," but the words I was taught with explicitly called out "stiffness" and "tension" as bad, and different from those things.

For instance, I sometimes lead forward volcadas arms-free. I do a "fly like a bird" upper-body embellishment and a few of my partners love to do the same thing. The structure holds itself up if we're both solid and present, and of course dissociation is generally desired in a circular volcada, so why block? It works just fine. I've yet to have a partner slide off me, even in very deep, showy volcadas.

There are places for stiffness of a sort. Those are so-called "compression leads," used for quick, tiny steps as in milonga. Even then, though, it's less stiffness and more tone. You remain supple . . . you just establish a narrower frame of movement for your partner to rebound off of. An ocho that might flow and span your entire frame ends up bottled up and almost a swivel in place. That's still about solidity, really – I establish the narrower frame mostly by stepping closer to my partner and into the space they'd otherwise occupy.

 

[Rabbit]

I then found I could switch to double time steps easily, even with 1st day beginners, by leading with a moment of exaggerated contrabody. The instructor I mentioned does the same thing by lifting his arms a bit (a consequence of going from fetal to contrafetal).

I change tempo entirely from the legs/lower torso, the top half doesn't need to be involved at all