Ballroom Dancing Scene vs. Bar & Club Scene

[VronskyWasSoVain]

Who says ladies don't need to buy gentlemen drinks at the pub?
Last I checked it's 2017, and we are well past the male/female gender roles and stereotypes.
I've bought drinks for guys- both professionally in a social setting and in a dance setting as well. I don't do social dancing, so I cannot speak to that. I've never had any problems with buying drinks. None of the guys I was with did either. It was just people having fun on the final night of their competition, or at the conclusion of a seminar etc...On the other hand, if anyone bought drinks for me, it was never assumed that I would end up in their hotel room that night. Maybe I've just been fortunate. YMMV..

Yah so I didn't mean it's some sorta protocol that guys have to buy girls drinks. I'd love for girls to buy me drink hahaha but I guess I was never attractive enough for them to do so.

When you're in a pub/club environment, the girls are more hostile and so average looking guys buy them drinks as a conversation starter and as an "in." It's lame I know. I'm glad I don't do this crap anymore now that i've found the dance scene.

 

[cornutt]

I saw no evidence that the Gen X or Ys ever picked up any of those skills that permeated pop culture in my day (and my parents generation too).

As an X'er I can tell you that any sort of dancing with a syllabus was very much "out" in the early 1980s. There were two forms of dancing: club free dancing, which was on its last legs even then, and slam dancing. Ballroom was something old people did; swing was something from the movies, and I had never heard of any Latin dance other than bossa nova, which was something my parents did when they were my age. It's kind of funny because the 12" EP extended dance mixes were a big thing -- but there wasn't very much actual dancing to them.

Remember, we X'ers were the generation that raised ourselves. We had no pop-culture touchpoints from the past, except for the ones that we researched on our own. I had progressive rock, which I had found on my own as a teenager, and next to bebop is about the most non-danceable form of music there is.

 

[sbrnsmith]

Yah so I didn't mean it's some sorta protocol that guys have to buy girls drinks. I'd love for girls to buy me drink hahaha but I guess I was never attractive enough for them to do so.

When you're in a pub/club environment, the girls are more hostile and so average looking guys buy them drinks as a conversation starter and as an "in." It's lame I know. I'm glad I don't do this crap anymore now that i've found the dance scene.

I don’t think what I’m talking about is the same thing you mention- I’ve got drinks for my guy friends who range in age from 25 to 80.
I’m sure the pub/club environment is different. But it depends what you are looking for. The dance community seems to be more open and accepting of all types of people, whereas a millennial generation age group may be more focused on dating, attractiveness of the other party etc
In any case, I will be happy to buy you a drink and have a good conversation!

 

[VronskyWasSoVain]

I don’t think what I’m talking about is the same thing you mention- I’ve got drinks for my guy friends who range in age from 25 to 80.
I’m sure the pub/club environment is different. But it depends what you are looking for. The dance community seems to be more open and accepting of all types of people, whereas a millennial generation age group may be more focused on dating, attractiveness of the other party etc
In any case, I will be happy to buy you a drink and have a good conversation!

Yah it's all about attractiveness. Back in my pubbing days, my guy friends didn't really have to do anything. They didn't need to know how to dance or really dress well or even to be a great conversationalist. Somehow they managed to hook up with women. It never happened to me. I was like the invisible one. Nobody acknowledged my existence.

The dance scene is much more welcoming and friendlier. Again, I'm not aiming to date but at least I don't feel as invisible and ignored. The girls seem happy to be asked to dance. I leave feeling happy instead of dejected.

 

[Xelebes]

There comes a point in one's life where they ask themselves why they are still drinking in LA.


I went to clubs. I enjoyed myself and burnt off some of that energy that I had when I was younger. But then the friends I used to go with no longer go and so I had to do other things to keep a circle of friends. I decided that dance was still important. So. . .

As for cost, I didn't throw money around then and I don't throw money around today.

As for the quality of dancing, eh. Syllabic dancing was ridden of a generation before me. You might have an MC who will prompt a specific circle event (twerking, bboy, jit) but usually it was unled. And that can mean that the dancing is simple and rudimentary and it can lead to the false sense that it was meant to be a meat market (okay, some sleazy clubs were just that.)

As for the "buying girls drinks", that's by design of the sleazier clubs. They let as many girls in as they can and then be selective of the men. Since more men are looking to get in than women (gee, I wonder why), they can always count on this discrimination to keep things balanced. Girls are expected to have not much money but the guys are expected to be loaded and having them throw money around.

 

[tangotime]

True - it is a depressant. But go to a party or to a busy/fun bar, and I think in this context, it feels more like a source of fun than a depressant.

Well, I'm teetotal , and I have always derived my fun from just dancing. Ironically, my family had a liquor store, and I was co owner of a club that sold beer and wine !!..

 

[Loki]

I decided several years ago that 8-hour long hangovers were not worth it.

And now heavy eating or any alcohol before dancing just turns me into a slug.

 

[tsb]

the more the lady drinks, the more handsome I become.

beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

 

[VronskyWasSoVain]

When I first started dancing, I thought of it was a good way to meet women. Now, I kinda like the fact that dance communities have structure and rules. Not that I wouldn't date someone if we both fancied each other but I no longer go for that purpose.

Dancing is fun and there's a community of support and its sustainable because it's just platonic friendships for the most part. Also, as a guy who spent a lot of his 20s going to bars/clubs, I like how there's no pressure to "get the girl."

 

[tangotime]

But go to a party or to a busy/fun bar, and I think in this context, it feels more like a source of fun than a depressant.


.

I never have been a "bar " type person ( T/Total ) .And the clubs I used to attend were always dance types. Irony is, my grand parents ran a liquor store !!