Best and worst dance snubs when you ask a lady to dance
- Thread starter Dr Dance
- Start date
tanya_the_dancer
Well-Known Member
Lioness
Forum Master
It's not her fault you're shy.
What did you want people to say? That she's a horrible person for refusing your kind offer of a dance? That she should be obliged to dance with you whenever you want, just because it's impolite (supposedly) to refuse?
Just...chill out a little. Sometimes people have legitimate reasons for refusing a dance. That is totally ok. It's not necessarily a reflection on you, or a rude snub. Sometimes you just don't want to dance that particular song.
Gorme
Active Member
Proximity asking could set a bad precedence. What if the woman were to stand right next to you so that you can't possibly miss her without running her over? Would it be a snub if you want to ask someone else instead?
Gorme
Active Member
I believe in the 3 strikes rule. Ask 3 times that night and if you strike out every time, then try again another day.
Joe
Forum Master
I was at a social and I'd just taken off my shoes to change them and give my feet a break from wearing heels, when this guy came up to me and asked me to dance a quickstep. Since I wasn't wearing dance shoes and I think it's dangerous to dance quickstep without them I had to decline. I didn't dance that quickstep with anyone else, but that guy kept giving me the stinkeye the rest of the night.
Terpsichorean Clod
Forum Master
I had one woman sit down and immediately start talking at me. That would've been pretty hard to ignore. (obviously, she'd forgotten about her condescension towards me when I was a beginner)
Terpsichorean Clod
Forum Master
3 strikes in general and then you go home? Or 3 strikes per individual and then you stop asking that person for the rest of the day?
I've settled upon asking no more than twice. If they've declined two times without offering a raincheck, then they go on the DNA list.
Gorme
Active Member
3 strikes per individual. It could be ill-timing that the person turns you down.
Gorme
Active Member
That seems to be a common way for women to ask me for a dance without outright asking me for a dance.
mindputtee
Forum Master
If they can't be bothered to say "Would you like to dance with me" I don't think you have an obligation to ask them to dance.
There's a woman at the studio who's terminally upset with my partner for not asking her to dance. She'll walk up to anybody else and ask them to dance, but she expects him to ask her. She's gone so far as to discourage her husband from dancing with me... except I don't really care if he does or not. He's a great guy, and a great dancer, but if I don't get asked to dance by him, I'm not going to cry.
fascination
Site Moderator
yep...I just don't get that...we have one lady who gets her undies in a bunch about how much a certain pro dances with a certain student...but that student asks...and that doesn't make her the bad guy...it makes her the samrt girl who gets the dances...shrug...man up or lose out
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twnkltoz
Forum Master
My ex and I went through that. I am friends with a couple, and my ex knows them but not as well as I do. We used to see them at WCS often when we were still together. I enjoy dancing with the husband of this couple, even though he's not a great dancer (he's fun and lets me do my thang). Ex does not enjoy dancing with the wife at all for various reasons, and he is a dance snob because his arthritis and gout make dancing painful so he saves his dances for people he really likes. Wife got all annoyed that my ex never asked her to dance. The husband asked me about it and I hedged. He indicated he wouldn't be able to keep dancing with me if ex didn't dance with the wife. I think that's BS, but whatever.
fascination
Site Moderator
lol, I would have been tempted to say; "um ...well, that controlling behavior is also part of the reason"...I wouldn't...but I would be tempted