Best Milongas in the world for followers

[Rabbit]

I never viewed tango as a progression activity with goals, or a journey, it's an experience in the moment.

However, I found that since last year I've become more focused on musical interpretation. And that I dance for the dance itself, not for the milonga, if that makes any sense.

 

[itwillhappen]

Sorry, it still is. This point somehow triggers me emotionally. Unfortunately, I am no longer the most attractive, youngest, and best leader in my community. Somehow I have to come to terms with it. In this forum there were many threads about learning curves, progress and prognoses. I deal with the contrary, aging in tango. This is where the tried and tested strategies fail.

So if you "only" get older - the whole peer group is aging, what speaks against it to keep dancing within it? Hey, this is tango, not techno, the pictures from some events look like afternoon tea in a retirement home.

To get separated from this is a gender or role imbalance. I was just at a milonga with a clear surplus of men, in this country probably an effect of a pandemic, vacation time or weather. Within competition for dance partners, anyone who successfully enters the stage without bringing a partner with them will have someone else pack their shoes. Since those who give up usually go quietly, we like to ignore that.

To get separated from this is a BMotWfF. I had no problems finding a mate for such an event with selected participants, in a beautiful European capital, in a beautiful theater, in a beautiful apartment. In two weeks, one will see.

 

[TTanguero]

I was just at a milonga with a clear surplus of men

Interestingly, in both the two milongas I've attended this week (the first since the end of lockdown here), there were more leaders than followers at both. The imbalance was slight in the first and bigger in the second. So seems an excellent time for followers to return!

One could hope this might even see more balanced roles in future, but I suspect it's a temporary effect, where men (who make up the vast majority of leaders here) are more gung-ho about returning, while women are more cautious.

 

[itwillhappen]

Interestingly, in both the two milongas I've attended this week (the first since the end of lockdown here), there were more leaders than followers at both. The imbalance was slight in the first and bigger in the second. So seems an excellent time for followers to return!

Experiencing a crisis it's instinctive, archaic behavior that men throw their surplus of 30% muscle mass into the ring. So I'm not sure that the woman really get happy.

 

[opendoor]

Interestingly, in.. two milongas I've attended this week.. there were more leaders than followers..

I also noticed that last week: at the three open-air milongas that I attended, there was a surplus of men. with one it was so blatant that I turned around on the spot again

 

[Tango Distance]

Interesting question, are established dancer men or women more gung ho for Tango, or dance in general?

In my little area, there tend to be fewer men, but they tend to stick with Tango longer. There are more women, but women have more turnover. For example, it is fairly common to see a lady do Tango until she gets a boyfriend, and then she quits. If a man gets a girlfriend, he tends to keep Tangoing. This might be because a typical male won't do social dancing (so the girlfriend quits), but females love dancing (so the boyfriend keeps dancing).

It might be a case that the reasons women quit were still true during COVID, so they dropped off, but there was no influx of new ladies.

I have some supporting observations I'll put in an upcoming post.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

Somehow I have to come to terms with it.

We all have to come to terms with it at one point or another.

 

[David_In_CA]

In my little area, there tend to be fewer men, but they tend to stick with Tango longer. There are more women, but women have more turnover. For example, it is fairly common to see a lady do Tango until she gets a boyfriend, and then she quits. If a man gets a girlfriend, he tends to keep Tangoing.

I think that women tend to prioritize the family more than men. So it might have less to do with men being more devoted to dance than women sacrificing their hobby for the partnership.

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

We all have to come to terms with it at one point or another.

Yes. Getting older is generally preferable to the alternative.

 

[itwillhappen]

It might be a case that the reasons women quit were still true during COVID, so they dropped off, but there was no influx of new ladies.

A reservoir, an inflow, an outflow, a level?
Okay - what is the turnover time of your TC?

 

[TTanguero]

Okay - what is the turnover time of your TC?

Interesting question. I haven't been in tango long enough to know about leaving rates (other than those – mostly leaders – who don't make it through the first year). In terms of inflow, most leaders I know waited around year before their first milonga. I know a follower who waited the same time, but generally they jump in much faster.

 

[LadyLeader]

If I only dance with a few leads who will lead familiar sequences, I might never look bad or feel frustrated, but I won't improve. If I dance with a beginner or a newcomer or even just someone with whom I'm not very sympatico, that's a challenge and I can learn from it.

I think that during the dancing and couple training we are moving within our capacity corridor. The floor represents our most stable skills which are there even when the pista and partner are really challenging. When the pista and partner offer the best conditions, supporting and lifting us, we can reach our highest level, our ceiling. Other days, other tandas are somewhere in between!

I share your idea of checking the floor, challenge the skills and building a strong and diverse base for your dance. No problems with the floor for me but I have not taken care of building and developing the ceiling. (I am planning for a change . . . .)

 

[itwillhappen]

I was told that I should feel my partner as well as possible while dancing. In that sense, dancing with a beginner does not bring me any progress, there are too many disturbances in the movements. It would be like listening to a philharmonic concert on the radio better because there is a football game on TV.

And lately a tanguera (also leading quite well) told me that you have to take group lessons all the time, otherwise you will never become a good leader. That a look at the dance floor showed the opposite, that there are no classes for close embrace in the city, that I occasionally take private lessons, that I prefer my teachers to be far away when I dance at a milonga ... all that was not able to change her mind.

 

[Tangogal]

Interesting question, are established dancer men or women more gung ho for Tango, or dance in general?

In my little area, there tend to be fewer men, but they tend to stick with Tango longer. There are more women, but women have more turnover. For example, it is fairly common to see a lady do Tango until she gets a boyfriend, and then she quits. If a man gets a girlfriend, he tends to keep Tangoing. This might be because a typical male won't do social dancing (so the girlfriend quits), but females love dancing (so the boyfriend keeps dancing).

It might be a case that the reasons women quit were still true during COVID, so they dropped off, but there was no influx of new ladies.

I have some supporting observations I'll put in an upcoming post.

I think I saw on another thread that a woman will stick with tango until she finds something or someone (boyfriend, husband, baby) that she loves more. Anecdotally, I agree that many women quit for these reasons. However, I’ve also found that women tend to have more diverse interests so tango might be one of many passions and they’ll cycle through their pastimes. Men seem to be more focused on their one passion be it Tango, Soccer, singing etc etc.
This pandemic has been a great opportunity for people to focus on their other hobbies like gardening or crafting or their new activities like hiking or open water swimming. They haven’t been anxiously awaiting the return of milongas in the same way that those with a single interest have been.
Let’s add in that it’s Summer in the Northern hemisphere and many people are on holidays or looking after schoolchildren or elderly relatives (much of which caretaking falls to women) and you can see why there might be low attendance.

I quit tango myself for a number of years. It was a combination of injuries and illness but it was also that I found I was appreciated more at Swing dance (which my then new partner also danced). And that I had other interests so that I didn’t need tango as my sole outlet.
Dipping in and out of swing dance is accepted and not penalised in terms of social dancing but dipping in and out of tango is frowned upon. As a follower I was considered not dedicated enough, not supportive enough and questioned as to my absence on the few occasions when I felt well enough to attend milongas.

 

[Cabbit]

My teacher tells me that it is very okay and sometimes even beneficial to take a break from tango, both from lessons and milongas. A time to reset, refocus.

@not dedicated enough idea