Breaking up sucks!!!!
- Thread starter SalsaGeek
- Start date
salsachinita said:
Frogs and princes aside, I'm not sure that I agree. Getting hurt, I think, is an inevitable part of life, unless you stay hidden in your impregnable tower ( and even that hurts, in a way :? ) Being heartbroken, I've found, is a choice. It's a choice I've made in the past, but I make no longer.
I have no control over anything except my thoughts, feelings, and actions. All else is up to the universe. But, as long as I have control of me, I am happy and at peace. (No appropriate emoticon available. :wink:
)
tsb
Well-Known Member
hey, just saw the topic. i'm sorry. i'm sure it hurts a lot right now, but grief is a normal & healthy process and you will feel better eventually. unfortunately, i have no magic words to offer to speed up the process - and i doubt that any really exist.
things are going to suck for a while. i've found that diversions can help by providing a respite, but if you want to use one like novocaine or something, i offer bill cosby's observation - novocaine doesn't make the pain go away - it just postpones it...
barry
things are going to suck for a while. i've found that diversions can help by providing a respite, but if you want to use one like novocaine or something, i offer bill cosby's observation - novocaine doesn't make the pain go away - it just postpones it...
barry
johnnywalker
New Member
Am I too late to throw in my 20 cents worth? (or whatever currency you use)
Many years ago an eight year relationship I was in had ended and that left me absolutely devastated (and that's putting it lightly). I spent the first year in a daze, not motivated and almost disillusioned with relationships. We had bought a house, car and had everything headed in what I thought would be a bright future.
This is where real friends come in. I was eventually talked into going out. I did so and started feeling a little better. I then decided to pursue some things I had wanted to do but had only procrastinated over. This led to dancing and, after a few years, meeting the wonderful woman who is now my wife. This was not something I had intended when I started dancing but it happened anyway.
In retrospect, I now (more than ever) believe there is a purpose to everything. Also, everything I experienced during this period in my life has shaped me in ways I would not have thought. I think everyone is different in how it affects them, how they react in similar situations but the thing I believe in is that there is always a reason, that this allows us to grow and that there is always something just ahead to replace what we have lost.
Be positive and patient and good things will happen; and as others have said, don't be idle...get out there.
Best of luck Salsageek.
Many years ago an eight year relationship I was in had ended and that left me absolutely devastated (and that's putting it lightly). I spent the first year in a daze, not motivated and almost disillusioned with relationships. We had bought a house, car and had everything headed in what I thought would be a bright future.
This is where real friends come in. I was eventually talked into going out. I did so and started feeling a little better. I then decided to pursue some things I had wanted to do but had only procrastinated over. This led to dancing and, after a few years, meeting the wonderful woman who is now my wife. This was not something I had intended when I started dancing but it happened anyway.
In retrospect, I now (more than ever) believe there is a purpose to everything. Also, everything I experienced during this period in my life has shaped me in ways I would not have thought. I think everyone is different in how it affects them, how they react in similar situations but the thing I believe in is that there is always a reason, that this allows us to grow and that there is always something just ahead to replace what we have lost.
Be positive and patient and good things will happen; and as others have said, don't be idle...get out there.
Best of luck Salsageek.
Are you feeling any better, Salsageek? Sincerely hope so...
Now, what happened to me is more or less fresh... it happened about one year and 5 months ago (want a precise date? i can give it to you...).
Two summers ago I hooked up with my dance partner... fell for him head over heels... the relationship lasted for 4 months (and then another month every now and then, when we couldn't handle being apart anymore...) and then everything fell apart... my nervous breakdown caused a complete separation... I stopped dancing entirely. Would barely go out, just to the office and back home, cried like mad and drank too damn much! I didn't know what else to do... I was completely lost... It lasted 2 months... I had turned into a complete wreck... I was barely speaking to people (I found it hard just to open my mouth) and didn't even smile a little (usually I smile and laugh a lot).
And then, one day, it just passed away (the nervous breakdown, not the pain). The pain was still there, always present, but I got used to it... and it slowly passed... I could listen to Salsa music once more...I could go dancing once more... it just all started again...
You'll feel better, I'm sure... give it time and give yourself time... just be patient...
and DO NOT DRINK! It's stupid... it makes you feel even worse (not to mention the following morning hangover...)
Good Luck...
Keep us posted about how you feel!
Now, what happened to me is more or less fresh... it happened about one year and 5 months ago (want a precise date? i can give it to you...).
Two summers ago I hooked up with my dance partner... fell for him head over heels... the relationship lasted for 4 months (and then another month every now and then, when we couldn't handle being apart anymore...) and then everything fell apart... my nervous breakdown caused a complete separation... I stopped dancing entirely. Would barely go out, just to the office and back home, cried like mad and drank too damn much! I didn't know what else to do... I was completely lost... It lasted 2 months... I had turned into a complete wreck... I was barely speaking to people (I found it hard just to open my mouth) and didn't even smile a little (usually I smile and laugh a lot).
And then, one day, it just passed away (the nervous breakdown, not the pain). The pain was still there, always present, but I got used to it... and it slowly passed... I could listen to Salsa music once more...I could go dancing once more... it just all started again...
You'll feel better, I'm sure... give it time and give yourself time... just be patient...
and DO NOT DRINK! It's stupid... it makes you feel even worse (not to mention the following morning hangover...)
Good Luck...
Keep us posted about how you feel!
But you're right. It does pass. And it's easier in the long run if you can avoide doing self destructive things (like drinking) while you're grieving.actually, things were a lot worse than I described them... but it doesn't matter... and now I might be heading for the same
It seems I can never learn my lesson... but who does?
And thanks for the compassion, pygmalion... yet, I believe we are all grown-ups and responsible and whatever happens to us is most of the time of our own accord... for instance, when some guy like the salsahog (I think some of you know who I'm talking about, for those who don't check out the thread related to the best dance to learn to pick up women) or somebody worse ('The Players' Edie the Salsafreak was talking about) gets to be with a woman, they see the weak part of her... and they are not the only ones to blame... she's also responsible for her choices!
It seems I can never learn my lesson... but who does?
And thanks for the compassion, pygmalion... yet, I believe we are all grown-ups and responsible and whatever happens to us is most of the time of our own accord... for instance, when some guy like the salsahog (I think some of you know who I'm talking about, for those who don't check out the thread related to the best dance to learn to pick up women) or somebody worse ('The Players' Edie the Salsafreak was talking about) gets to be with a woman, they see the weak part of her... and they are not the only ones to blame... she's also responsible for her choices!