burnout: causes and timeline

Why does dancing have to involve competitons? Are competitions the ONLY reason to take dance lessons? I've taken 10 years of private Ballroom, Latin, Swing and Hustle lessons and 8 years of private Argentine Tango, Vals, and Milonga Lessons. I NEVER wanted to compete.

Seems dancing on a conveyor belt isn't going to lead to dance happiness.
 
Good topic, fascination,

Here's some of the things that's I've experienced; my list has a number of similarities to yours.

- Cost of dancing, not necessarily lessons themselves, but associated costs like coaching, competitions, dresses and shoes
- Pressure, ranging from subtle to manipulation, to purchase the above
- Time commitment, especially for travel to and from lessons
- Lack of time for other interests
- Jealously expressed regarding pursuit of other interests
- Breakdown of pro am relationship
- Family pressure to quit lessons altogether and cut back on social dancing
- Health issues, including inherent posture problems and sciatica
- Disillusionment with judging at competitions
- Negative self image due to height and weight; don't fit the model of petite slender waif at competitions
- Negative self image gets worse at socials, when the waifs get all the attention, whether they can dance or not
- Disgust over lack of progress
- Tired of paying for events that don't materialize, recently 2 such events, as well as associated costs for lessons, coaching, and new dress and shoes
- Not fitting in at some socials
- Tired of fielding questions about when I might compete again
- Lots of acquaintances in dance community, but few real friends
- Lack of support system
- Don't see the point in taking lessons if many leads at socials can barely do a basic, or that's all they can do
- Tired and depressed over all of the above

There's a lot of moving parts here. I'm not proud of some of my feelings on the above, but there it is. I don't want to deal with any of it, and I'm questioning what dancing's worth or benefit is. I'm not sure what would be on the plus side of a cost/benefit analysis.
 
It's not really a secret that I struggle with being on the edge of burnout... but my reasons are a little different.

Warning: some of this is brutally honest, but is not intended to cause offence to any who have made different choices/feel differently.

The biggest issue for me comes down to the fact that I want to be competing am-am. In my area at least, that's where the stiffest competition is, and I want to be there to be challenged. Sadly, competent partners don't just grow on trees, so I'm in pro-am at the moment, where the competition at higher levels is almost non-existant and the costs are astronomical. This means that I don't compete nearly as often as I'd like, and when I do, I'm often unconstested or up against one or two others - so it feels like I've paid thousands to simply dance a show... and leads to me questioning the point of it all pretty much every single time. And yes, I'm completely tired of fielding the "why don't you have a partner?" question.

Being in the pro-am ranks as some sort of consolation league makes it tough to keep working. I am improving, and am mostly satisified with my progress, but being at the studio alone (because I'm not rich enough to have lessons every day) working to get there while wondering if my goals will ever be acheivable - because of something I cannot control - can be incredibly demoralizing. It makes you wonder why you're working so hard.

I also struggle with feeling that there is no place for me... I don't fit in at group classes or socials because of my level, at dance camps/workshops because I'm unpartnered, and even while practicing, I'm often the only one there solo, and often the only one dancing standard. I sometimes feel like I'm in the way. Rounds, for example, I can really only run when the studio is empty (since I can't see where I'm going most of the time), but the growing success of the studio has meant a steady encroachment on available floor time for standard practice, and it's getting really hard to find empty-studio time.

I haven't had the over-investment issue some have mentioned - I have a healthy and realistic dance budget, and I'm very aware that pro is not nor will he ever be my partner... but sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier if I had gotten swept up in the illusion along the way. Because sometimes realism sucks.
 
tangomaniac said:
Why does dancing have to involve competitons? Are competitions the ONLY reason to take dance lessons? I've taken 10 years of private Ballroom, Latin, Swing and Hustle lessons and 8 years of private Argentine Tango, Vals, and Milonga Lessons. I NEVER wanted to compete.

Seems dancing on a conveyor belt isn't going to lead to dance happiness.
Click to expand...
It doesn't have to..it just happens that it is the reality for many who have responded
 
Perhaps for some, if not many, the expectations were too great / unmanaged. Couple that with frustration over whatever.

And we're trained to compete at everything; if you're not in first place, you lost. And we're bombarded with daily marketing schlock messages saying whatever we have is not good enough. So maybe it's a little cultural too? Makes me wonder if dancers should practice Zen...
 
fascination said:
It doesn't have to..it just happens that it is the reality for many who have responded
Click to expand...

Well, then maybe their expectations should change.

My dance explained the difference between social and competitive dancing.

Social dancing: Make the partner happy

Competitive dancing: Make the judges happy
 
life is a journey...based upon what people are sharing, I would say that their expectations are changing....generally that is how all of us change...by living and learning....
 
My wife and i started out wanting to learn to salsa dance so we could go to a local club in AZ where we lived at the time. We then started to learn other dances and became accomplished social dancers. We also started dancing showcases atbour local studio. The mrs is a classically trained dancer and can learn much faster, she wanted to learn more material quickly so competition was suggested. As a person who does (over does ) everything 110 percent I knew I didn't want to make my hobby a job. However once we started I was hooked. We did very well in local comps then started usa dance. We won the senior champ rhythm national championship four years later . We also had been dancing pro am for a while by then slowly gaining in placements there too. Her more than I of course . She sees pro am as tool to improve our am am experience and has never drank the kool aid . I on the other hand with my addictive tendencies ( luckily only to health things like dance working out etc) guzzled the whole jug. Finally tho I'm beginning to wonder about the uphill battle especially as an am male We definitely enjoy pro am less than we did but my smooth results are improving pretty quickly with my new truly perfect match pro so I'm torn. I know when I hit the results wall that will be it for competition . However we still love social dancing and will get back to show cases. So my impending burnout is with competitive dancing USA dance and their issues aren't helping on the am am front either

I agree to some extent with every post on this thread since I posed the question initially on another thread I figured it was time to post on the subject
 
FancyFeet said:
I dance to make me happy ;)
Click to expand...

Agreed 110%. My life is much happier with dance in it than without, so I keep at it (even through some of the struggles).

The adrenaline rush of competition (even once I've learned to control it) is something I love. And on the am/am side, I love working with a teammate, even with the challenges (see my earlier post about learning to accept and cherish someone very different from myself). For me, at least, I find that having a growth mindset (getting better from where I was previously) helps me to stay sane and keep burnout at bay while making competition something I love to train for. The feeling of finally nailing something I struggled with is awesome, for me at least. I never had that challenge from academics (I was, and still am, an accidental nerd) so since about third grade I've looked for it from some sort of organized athletics, and dance is the latest incarnation of that. And given the depth of it, I see it sticking around for the foreseeable future in some form.
 
tangomaniac said:
Why does dancing have to involve competitons? Are competitions the ONLY reason to take dance lessons? I've taken 10 years of private Ballroom, Latin, Swing and Hustle lessons and 8 years of private Argentine Tango, Vals, and Milonga Lessons. I NEVER wanted to compete.

Seems dancing on a conveyor belt isn't going to lead to dance happiness.
Click to expand...

Competition wasn't something I started out with, it was something that was introduced gradually over time. The transition was something like spotlight dance, within studio mini comp, multi studio mini comp, and then NDCA comp. Probably others had a similar start; I can't speak for anyone but me. I've wondered if there's some organized psychology out there for pros to lure students into competitive dancing.

It gets to be too much what that's all your dancing is defined by. That's all a few folks in the dance community want to ask me about.
 
tangomaniac said:
Why does dancing have to involve competitons? Are competitions the ONLY reason to take dance lessons? I've taken 10 years of private Ballroom, Latin, Swing and Hustle lessons and 8 years of private Argentine Tango, Vals, and Milonga Lessons. I NEVER wanted to compete.

Seems dancing on a conveyor belt isn't going to lead to dance happiness.
Click to expand...


Other than lessons, it could be the only outlet. I love social dancing in the westie community. But I haven't found social dancing to be as fun or enjoyable in the ballroom community. So it's take lessons and compete for me in the ballroom world if that's what we stick too. And the ballroom world places much more pressure on competing than the westie world, I can see where it could be hard for someone not to at least compete once. That's my 2 cents...
 
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