Cabeceo and Other "Rules"

[Brummbaer]

, social dance is pretty much dead

Don't write it off, although it is mainly a particular age group (60+), unless you describe 'clubbing' as social dance.

The monthly jive event, which had a small separate AT room, used to be packed into a large multi-purpose sports hall with stage. Dance demos/teaching on the stage. Mostly seemed to be people 40+.

 

[Rabbit]

Agreed. "Cabeceo" is just tango-speak for a near-universal idea in partner dance. We tango freaks love our special vocabulary, but it's not our concept – just our word. It goes deeper, too . . . as one tango teacher I quite respect said, "Probably the only uniquely tango thing is the cruzada, and I've seen even that show up in gaff*."

Can confirm that cabeceo is easily understood and also frequently used by dancers of other styles. even where walking up and inviting people is common it functions as a way for people to have more choice over whom they dance with.

Crosses exist in the various ballroom dances so I doubt it's a concept that even originated in tango.

 

[Brummbaer]

Crosses exist in the various ballroom dances so I doubt it's a concept that even originated in tango.

I doubt whether there's one single thing which is unique to AT since it's an amalgam of diverse dance cultures. It's the combination of these things in a particular way which make it unique: the music, the embrace, the improvisation, the social aspects. Even now, we take the parts we like.

 

[Tango Newbie]

There are several motivators for choosing that partner, but you also have to consider the social environment. Do they also have a life-partner? A life-partner who dances AT? Are they looking for a 'pick-up' as well (Let's have a drink afterwards and I can help you with those elements)? Are they just into as many dances as possible (enjoyable, but help me forget the humdrum day)?

I'm glad you mentioned something that seems to be dispelled in other AT forums; that there are some dancers (i.e. leaders) on the prowl at milongas.

As I have mentioned in my posts on other topics that I have a life partner who is a very seasoned follower, and she has dispelled the notion about Tango being a 'pick-up' opportunity, something I had a hard time believing.

Sure, I get it, a lot of milongas are frequented by a specific community of dancers and they don't want to be the cause of concern, but that said there are dancers who are 'regulars' who get comfortable enough to make 'moves' on other dancers (discretely), especially given the nature of the 'connections' that can be 'enjoyable' from a sensual dance perspective that is the very nature of AT.

 

[Brummbaer]

I'm glad you mentioned something that seems to be dispelled in other AT forums; that there are some dancers (i.e. leaders) on the prowl at milongas.

First of all, that was about motivations for choosing a dance partner. But 'pick-ups' happen - and it's no different than anywhere else. That's just life. OK, it shouldn't be a priority, but obviously the motivation is still there. Those who are annoying get banned. It's really about the purpose of the milonga. Nowadays we see it as just a dance; years ago, pre social media, in another culture it was the place to meet and hook-up. Just like the village harvest supper after the actual harvest!

I've been with the same woman for over 40 years, and I'm not changing. I know of a 75-year old whose wife died a few years ago who is into the dating apps; I used to see the 'solos' at the jive/salsa events whose interest was probably more than dancing. I've chatted to the guy at the milonga who just claimed he was there to meet women (he got banned later). And doubtless there are single women out there who would like more than a tanda.

Years ago I was involved in a sports scene with many fit women. What's not to enjoy? Great opportunity to actually meet the opposite sex.

I don't think social AT is any better or worse than anywhere else. Women shouldn't feel threatened. Maybe men need a better, more acceptable, pick-up technique. Who can you trust? UK recently had a policeman using his position to abuse and murder a woman.

 

[Cabbit]

I'm glad you mentioned something that seems to be dispelled in other AT forums; that there are some dancers (i.e. leaders) on the prowl at milongas.

In the spirit of equality in the 21st century, lets just point out that men could be as often prey as hunters.

 

[Brummbaer]

In the spirit of equality in the 21st century, lets just point out that men could be as often prey as hunters.

True, but I couldn't possibly suggest that. Or maybe just wishful thinking, as my wife would say.

 

[itwillhappen]

As I have mentioned in my posts on other topics that I have a life partner who is a very seasoned follower, and she has dispelled the notion about Tango being a 'pick-up' opportunity, something I had a hard time believing.

However, you could believe that tango is not a good opportunity to pick up your life partner. Regardless of whether a tanda would be 'enjoyable' with her from a sensual dance perspective or not.

 

[itwillhappen]

In the spirit of equality in the 21st century, lets just point out that men could be as often prey as hunters.

Since about 20 times more men than women are imprisoned in this country, they seem to be caught more often in "hunting accidents". Maybe they're just clumsier, maybe they're just discriminated.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

Don't write it off, although it is mainly a particular age group (60+), unless you describe 'clubbing' as social dance.

The monthly jive event, which had a small separate AT room, used to be packed into a large multi-purpose sports hall with stage. Dance demos/teaching on the stage. Mostly seemed to be people 40+.

Swing seems to be pretty popular, and it's mostly a younger crowd.

 

[Brummbaer]

Swing seems to be pretty popular, and it's mostly a younger crowd.

Do you know the invite protocol there? I've always imagined some more informal variation on: Would you do me the honour of allowing me this dance?

 

[Steve Pastor]

OK, so, country western is social dancing with lots of people getting on the floor here (Portland, OR ish) with line dancing before learning the partner dances. Attendance is building up here in Portland, just as it always does in the fall. and I have to add that most people are WAY younger than me... like 20s & 30s.
My tango wish is that the venues I used to attend would reopen, but the organizers are respecting the still existing mask mandate, etc. AT involves a lot more face to face contact than the country dances. The country places, not so much.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

Do you know the invite protocol there? I've always imagined some more informal variation on: Would you do me the honour of allowing me this dance?

I don't but I have danced tango with swing dancers and they are pretty informal. They don't speak with 19th-century formality.

 

[Brummbaer]

I don't but I have danced tango with swing dancers and they are pretty informal. They don't speak with 19th-century formality.

I'd guess some more modern form of invite, but the discussion of seemed to have disappeared into whether social dance still existed and invites to dance. I did hear once of smartphone invites (broadcast) for clubbing, but too old for that scene.

I guess we can agree that various styles of social dancing are alive and well, and that there needs to be some invite protocol appropriate to the context. Cabeceo/mirada originally suited a place and era, and indeed, in some form, suits occasions nowadays l, even if adapted, but is mainly used in social AT.

The heading also raised the question of other 'rules', or codigos in AT. The internet provides a wealth of these from particular locations. Mentioning 18th century, but actually much more recent, I particularly liked Cabeceo del caballero as I found in some of my notes. Generally these codigos are about respecting others (basically, no toxic masculinity, as today's terminology) - by not getting in the way and ensuring you don't smell. But what about today's codigos for followers?

 

[WhiskeyPapa]

Since about 20 times more men than women are imprisoned in this country, they seem to be caught more often in "hunting accidents". Maybe they're just clumsier, maybe they're just discriminated.

Perhaps because men have fewer objections to being the victims of of “hunting accidents” when a woman mishandles her weapons?