That sounds like a recipe for disaster or mutual misunderstanding. I would hope you're both dancing to the same thing. If you're in synch, your interpretations should not be dissimilar. And if she has no idea what step is being led, well, you're each dancing your own separate dance.
I disagree.
As I said, it's a question of proposal and counter-proposal: My follower has a
perfectly good idea of what step is being led! However, it's her decision to accept that lead or to create something that fits the music and my movements as well as (or better than!) what I proposed. It isn't
my improvised dance; it's
our improvised dance. We each have veto power. Of course, we also each have the responsibility to
listen to the music and to each other, and to insert only elements that fit.
That doesn't require synchronization. It requires complicity. LadyLeader said it well, so I'll quote her:
If all the instruments were doing the exact same thing and melody never left the rhythm (possible?) the songs would be so boring compared with the variation they have now.
It's exactly this.
Dancing tango is like jamming improvisational jazz. There's nothing wrong with me "being" the violin or voice while my partner is "being" the bandoneon, contrabass, or piano. We can "be" different parts of the same composition and remain in perfect complicity without rigid synchrony. All we need is a common idea of what our goals are, which is the entire point of the famous "connection" in tango – which is a state of mind, not a state of body.
When the music offered parallel paths we could go parallel and come together again when music come together.
Yep.
One of the things I like best is to give my partner room for a "solo." I pause, or simply walk (often slowly), and make sure there's enough time and physical space for her to do whatever she likes. All I ask is that: (1) what she does is on the music, and (2) eventually, she gives me room for a "solo." The very act of trading solos and seeking to do whatever we do on the music ensures that we're communicating and dancing
together. We're just not both boringly dancing to the same element (beat, rhythm, melody) or instrument all the time, no more than every member of the orchestra is playing the same notes. Nor am I taking 100% responsibility for everything, which in my mind would be some seriously macho garbage.
That feeling of boredom was the very reason driving me to experiment with the leader/follower split where I was doing something and the follower got space to do something else.
My experience is that I feel like I'm truly dancing
with someone only when we both have space to create and yet we're both acutely aware of who has what part of the music just now. We're jamming together, and it's really cool. When we're slaves to a pure lead/follow mechanic, I'm no longer dancing with someone; I'm
making someone dance, which is about as interesting to me as cutting up someone's food.
It's interesting to read how so many musicians of the Época de Oro had contact with jazz musicians; the Jazz Age overlapped the Época de Oro significantly. Jazz's values of jamming and improvisation influenced tango music, and I'm happiest when that's in the dance as well.