Do women and men want the same thing from tango?

bordertangoman said:
I honestly think a lot of women want excitement; I hear constant complaints about the deathmarch traditional music played at a local practilonga; the dj says he can brainwash the people who come into liking tango music but he's having the opposite effect by playing whole cds of one orchestra. I really like a lot of traditional music and i dont think its rocket science to mix up different orchestras into tandas, and keep it mostly instrumental ( with the exception of Tanturi Campos) so the flavours keep changing, along with some vals and milongas say one tanda of these per hour.
Women seem to like Poema but it seems pretty unique amongst tango music.
Then I always use Di Sarli to give people some clear structured music. Felicia :Alberto Carabelli version is another song that more advanced dancers like.
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It sounds like that DJ sucks. One can make interesting tandas from just traditional tango, of course there's no harm in playing an occasional tanda (1 or 2 / hour) of alternative, if that's what the audience likes.
 
dchester said:
It sounds like that DJ sucks. One can make interesting tandas from just traditional tango, of course there's no harm in playing an occasional tanda (1 or 2 / hour) of alternative, if that's what the audience likes.
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he has told me he has a Cambridge degree, understands tango music since he plays piano and reads music, and he dances like a plank. In cockney parlance he's a merchant banker...
 
bordertangoman said:
he has told me he has a Cambridge degree, understands tango music since he plays piano and reads music, and he dances like a plank. In cockney parlance he's a merchant banker...
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It's a shame that with all that going for him, he doesn't appear to DJ very well (based on your prior description, of course).
 
So on the topic of the embrace...which was a topic in this thread at some point...a thought from last night.

Guys, please do not actually grab your partner's left arm and try to put it in place around your neck--not if you think she's taking too long to do it, and not if you think she's going to dance in open embrace and you don't care for that.

(Can you all guess what happened to me last night?)

I can say that it did not amuse me in the least. Especially since I generally dance close embrace anyhow, and was taking my time getting into it. I guess that wasn't good enough. Lemme tell you, it did not enhance any connection going on. What was strange to me is that this was a guy I've danced with plenty of times before, and he's never done that before. *shrug* It just annoyed the blazes out of me. a)I was getting there. b)What if I'd wanted to dance open for some reason?

I guess there's a first time for everything.
 
Peaches said:
Guys, please do not actually grab your partner's left arm and try to put it in place around your neck--not if you think she's taking too long to do it, and not if you think she's going to dance in open embrace and you don't care for that.
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I would have to have a quite intimate relationship with a woman before I would do that. Otherwise, it's just plain rude.
 
bordertangoman said:
I honestly think a lot of women want excitement.........
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Yes, I do like excitement in the sense that I like to be surprised, entertained and amused whilst dancing. (Tell me jokes if all else fails.) I also like dancing challenging and unusual moves as long as they are within my capabilities - and OF COURSE, within the leader's capabilities to lead accurately. All these things increase my focus on the connection as I have to pay more attention and there is less likelihood that I will go onto autopilot.

But, these are what I would describe as higher-order skills, and are not necessary to a pleasant and enjoyable dance. Expressing musicality using very simple moves (such as variations of the walk) can be just as effective and within the reach of any leader, no matter how inexperienced.


Women seem to like Poema but it seems pretty unique amongst tango music.
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I love Poema, but it is now starting to sound a bit over-played.

Your DJ does indeed sound a bit difficult. For a follower, maybe the excitement comes as much from the partner as from the music, though?

However, in other dance forms, I find the music to be of overwhelming importance, probably over-riding the skill of the leader in ensuring a pleasing dance, so I don't know why I don't feel the same about tango.
 
dchester said:
It's a shame that with all that going for him, he doesn't appear to DJ very well (based on your prior description, of course).
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I think his superior intelligence leads him to conclude that he must be right; Quite honestly I don't think he is musical. His dancing lacks any lyricism. The ability to read music and play an instrument does not make one musical on the dance floor.

last night I was complimented on the dance floor my musical interpretation by a two visiting ladies who were a bit bored of with their regular milonga where they dont get much beyond the beat, and half-times.

( apologies for blowing my own saxophone)
 
Light Sleeper said:
I don't like Poema :)... in fact, I find it irritating at times... bit like Turkish Delight, nice, light and sweet but (for me) lacking in substance re dancing.
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I agree, and it is overplaid; it is no more than an appetiser, a morceau, an aperatif.

What tango pieces are your meat and two veg?
 
Peaches said:
Guys, please do not actually grab your partner's left arm and try to put it in place around your neck--not if you think she's taking too long to do it, and not if you think she's going to dance in open embrace and you don't care for that.

.
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I could show you how to turn that into aikido for next time it happens

obviously the guy was not a Jedi knight.
 
Peaches said:
...reply deleted...have headache (from banging head against wall)...

Are we seriously debating this nonsense again? Really? For the love of god, can't this damn subject be closed? No one here is ever going to agree--months and years of posts have made that pretty clear.

Can't we actually discuss something, I dunno, useful? Technique? Musicality? Problem solving? Music? With actual contributions instead of tearing people down and sniping?

Anyone taking any lessons they'd like to share? Puzzling experiences? Lightbulb moments?
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Thank you!!!! It is sooo annoying that we have endlessly to deal with this!

Message to Jan, I AM A PHILISTINE. GET OVER IT.

I admit that I dance 'not tango'. Oh, I dance almost exclusively to golden age tango music, I dance close embrace much of the time (all of the time with a new partner), and I might easily be mistaken for a tango dancer by one who is not in the know. But the basic problem is: I don't dance any dance (and I dance many) so I that can hold a woman and be held in turn. I have a GF. We have a most excellent love life. I have no phobias about holding or being held, otherwise I wouldn't dance 'not tango', but I (and my life partner) find that there is a LOT more to connection than the walking hug. So I second Peaches' request that we please get over this. If it helps, I will recognize that I do it all wrong. So can we drop it??? Please??

And yes, I should have deleted this message.
 
I'd like to remind everyone that while we are allowed to disagree with each other, we should always maintain a respectful tone towards each other.

"We" have been sliding on this, and a bit of self reflection should tell you if you are among the "we".

And, yes, it's been noted by more than one individual.

So, from the Guidelines...

4. Please do not engage in name calling, attacks on a person's character, deliberately inflammatory remarks, group stereotypes, or profanity (no matter how subtle – we take all such activities seriously).

6. Please be courteous in your posting, by following these basics:

  • Do not title threads or post using ALL CAPS.
Thanks in advance for being civil to one another.
 
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