Veronica Tourmanova's take:
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"I have some thoughts about what happened during Naveira's show at Gavito festival.
I know I have to weigh my words carefully because this is my line of work too and I'm known to be a compassionate and reasonable voice in tango.
It took me a couple of days to watch and read everything and to gather my thoughts.
First things first, it was not a couple's dispute gone too far. Gustavo publicly humiliated his long term partner Giselle Anne. It was an act of emotional violence. But what I want to stress is that it was not only unprofessional and cruel to her. It was also unprofessional and disrespectful to the audience, the other artists and the organisers. The Naveira couple is among the best paid professionals in the trade, may I remind you, if not the best paid. For good reasons. Gustavo did not just disrespect his partner, he also didn't care to do the job he was hired for and paid for handsomely, no doubt.
Just like Giselle Anne tried to stay professional while he was throwing a tantrum, the whole audience was taken hostage by this. When we are a member of the public, we also go into a freeze or a fawn stress response in a situation like this. We don't put on our best outfits and pay a high entrance fee to be traumatised. We are too stunned to do or say anything about it right away, too.
Secondly, and I'm sorry to say this, but it's not the first time he publicly humiliated Giselle Anne. I personally witnessed it once during a workshop some time around 2004-2005. She was clearly embarrassed but chose to continue as if nothing happened. I remember all the women in the class gasping collectively but nobody said or did anything. I did not say or do anything either. I was just a student, they were the stars. This time, what happened was not only more shocking, it caused an outrage and a backlash, but it did so mostly because Giselle Anne no longer pretended it was ok.
It seems like the responsibility of demonstrating the gravity of the situation falls on the victim. Had she chosen to go along with the show and suffer through, there might have been comments and rumours but the incident would not have reached the amplitude that it ultimately deserves.
This makes me wonder what we can do, as audience and bystanders, to take some of that responsibility upon ourselves and not leave it entirely to the victim. Because it's way harder for her to step up. And yet Giselle Anne did. Followed by everyone, but especially the organisers, doing the right thing: validating and supporting her. This was truly awesome to witness.
If public mistreatment is this shocking, it's likely way worse in private. Yes, unfortunately. I don't want to speculate about their relationship and I do not know Gustavo and Giselle Anne closely. But that's what the statistics of toxic behaviour in relationships tend to demonstrate. Hopefully it's not their case.
The apology was long and sounded very sincere, but I'm reluctant to celebrate it, for it doesn't take courage to issue an apology, it takes basic decency and also that's the bare minimum in this situation. Courage is what Giselle Anne showed when she stood her ground.
A lot of people say, we all make mistakes. It's true. I once lost my temper at my already overwhelmed partner during a rehearsal. I stopped immediately. It was immensely hurtful to him. We talked about it, later, and I also apologized.
But what is a mistake? A mistake is making a stupid joke during a class. Or to say "she" when referring to followers in a mixed role group. They were performing to a Piazzolla. Do you know how long these songs are sometimes? During a Piazzolla you can go get a pumpkin spice latte, have a smoke outside, feed, change and put to bed a baby, ask someone in marriage and then file for divorce. Gustavo didn't just behave badly in the beginning of the song. That I would have considered a mistake. He kept on mistreating Giselle Anne and disrespecting the audience, making it worse and worse and storming off the dancefloor at the end, leaving her to trail behind.
Go on, tell me now how women are the emotional ones.
All this while, Giselle Anne tried to literally do her job and mend the peace. There is one heartbreaking moment in the video when she realises that he is not going to snap back to his senses and all the light just goes out in her. I watched the video only once and I cannot bring myself to watch it again. Most female professionals were bullied by their male partners at one point or another, not necessarily publicly, but most of us feel sharply that moment when your light goes out because your partner starts losing it. It can be small things: rude remarks, name-calling, impatience, ridicule. It can be full blown screaming rage fits. Mostly behind closed doors. Mostly when practicing. Do female dancers also bully their male partners? Some do. But because there are more good female followers than good professional male leaders, and especially in couples in which he is considered brilliant and she is just lucky to have him, male dancers will often abuse their power. Also, ahem, patriarchy.
And this is another thing: whether Gustavo's reputation is restored or damaged forever, if they want to continue being a professional couple, whatever fallout he experiences will also affect Giselle Anne. If Gustavo never dances again, she won't either, at least not with him. And if somehow everything returns back to more or less what it was before, as another female colleague wrote, would it make Giselle Anne less of a queen and a hero? Would we lose our admiration for what she did? Are we really putting this much pressure on her who already suffered a public humiliation?
If the roles were reversed, we would have likely labelled the woman hysterical, an unstable bitch, a spoiled princess. Would we have as much empathy for her as we are trying to have now for Gustavo, praising his apology, celebrating his achievements, stressing just how much he contributed to the development of tango? Oh, also, he contributed, alone? Not any of his partners?
I hope we as a community will now become more aware of our own responsibility. That organisers learn from it. I also hope that Giselle Anne finds the inner strength to deal with the consequences of this incident in ways that are best for her wellbeing and career.
And I hope that her light never goes out like that again, ever."
