Eye contact and social dancing

wonderwoman

wonderwoman

Well-Known Member
The other night at a studio social I ended up dancing with this guy twice during foxtrot mixer. Not a big fan either, don't get me wrong. I'm not there to hook up or anything, and the guy is married to a beautiful lady who was also there.

Now I've whined in the past about partners flat out staring, but this man made zero eye contact whatsoever. A curt thank you at the end, but not so much as a smile at any point. I don't expect a guy to look at me the whole time but smile, acknowledge my presence, act like you are enjoying dancing with me.

Why do we call it social dancing if we don't socialize with our partners?
 
Just something you have to accept. Some people will make eye contact, talk, etc. Some leads will not make eye contact, won't talk, will just dance and that's all. It' s not about you, it's him.
 
That's hard, I know. I know I have a very hard time with eye contact--tend to have too much or too little. But I've encountered what you describe, and it's sort of odd. Unsettling.

There is one guy I've dance (AT) with a few times, and it's like there's absolutely no acknowledgement (sp???) of me as a partner at all. No eye contact, no chat between dances, nothing even in how he feels. It's like his mind is somewhere else altogether. ... Then a few weeks ago I made some comment, about the music I think, and we both laughed. And everything changed! Everything. It was amazing...he was *there* with me in the dance. His embrace, what he lead, the fact that he got something of a playfulness/sense of humor with what he lead...everything. Now I look forward to dancing with him.

Perhaps you could try breaking the ice with him?
 
you're a cute woman and guys in general, evne the cocky ones, are self concious. Dancers tend to be even more that way, at least to start. So don't worry about it, definitely him, not you.
 
It's so frustrating. I was SHY all my life and everyone always assumed I was UNFRIENDLY and standoffish, even rude. I start to dance to open me up and be more social, and it works, and now I'm the one thinking people are standoffish to me. Of COURSE it's just that they are shy and intimidated! I should understand. I should be able to read minds just like I expected everyone else to give me the benefit of the doubt.

sigh.
 
I enjoy both socializing and dancing, but I do one at a time, so I can have focused attention in either. Depending on the dance, I may never look at my partner, but I am observing her attentively. I usually don't speak when I'm dancing, but I am communicating continually. Advanced dancers know this, while partners who are beginners often want to communicate verbally.
 
oddly, I find the opposite to be true in a social setting...men who are more advanced seem far more likely to talk than a new lead...as to eye contact that really seems to depend upon the gentleman's level of self-confidence...as a person not as a dancer
 
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