Eye contact and social dancing

I'm a pretty quiet person, especially with those I've just met...so have been accused of being unfriendly/standoffish myself at socials.

Especially when dancing, I tend to get focused on the dancing and what I'm feeling and trying to dance the best I can with each song...sometimes my quiet focus makes me seem to be "somewhere else" but in my head, trust me, I'm just so focused on being exactly there. I will always smile and thank my partner at the end though. :D

So not just an issue for leaders...can be for us shy follows too. ;)
 
etp777 said:
you're a cute woman and guys in general, evne the cocky ones, are self concious. Dancers tend to be even more that way, at least to start. So don't worry about it, definitely him, not you.
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Well said etp.

If it is a ballroom dance I never make eye contact once we take hold. Latin dances I'll make eye contact whenever it feels natural (which is most the time when we are facing each other).
 
and mixers can be intimidating...if they're the type where you switch partners frequently during a long song, a lead (and follow) must adjust quickly to different partners. if a lead is not used to this, it could be quite intimidating...
 
Perhaps some guys don't want to make eye contact in fear of being thought of as being flirty. Or maybe the guy's wife is watching him like a hawk and has previously scolded him for making eye contact with other women. :p
 
etp777 said:
just do whole floor and every 20 seconds or whatever persona running dance yells "switch!". My second studio does that, we do a push pull mixer, aka "snowball" at end of every party.
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Oh, those are awful. I'm implicitly rejecting n-1 of the neighboring follows at each "switch." Ugh.

To get slightly back on topic, I mostly avoid eye contact at that "switch," just to avoid seeming to make any of the rejections explicit.
 
waltzguy said:
Perhaps some guys don't want to make eye contact in fear of being thought of as being flirty.
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Can happen to ladies too...I have done this before when someone was coming on a little too strong...and I wasn't interested. 'Course, he still didn't get it, thought I was being coy. :doh:
 
soshedances said:
Can happen to ladies too...I have done this before when someone was coming on a little too strong...and I wasn't interested. 'Course, he still didn't get it, thought I was being coy. :doh:
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:rolleyes: You can't win. If you'd mashed his toes, he probably would've thought you were into...um... <censors self> samba & merengue...
 
samba and merengue. well, SNM, but it's more fun if you say it out loud.

The obliviousness just comes naturally. And there are people here who can vouch for that one. :P or rather, loudly accuse me of that one. :)
 
soshedances said:
I'm a pretty quiet person, especially with those I've just met...so have been accused of being unfriendly/standoffish myself at socials.
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"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done." :)
 
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