ProgressNotPerfection
Forum Master
And speaking of a post-comp narrative, don’t forget about all the post-comp emotions. They run the gamut from happy excitement to dejected disillusionment.Anyway, for my own post-comp narrative
It’s not a disorder. All of these feelings are normal. There are tons of discussions about this on DF already.
In the past week, I’ve been exhausted (daytime naps & early bedtime); wide awake at midnight (when do you think I write all this down?); elated (oooo! Pretty pictures! Pretty videos! What fun! Great dress!); disgusted (OMFG do I really flail my arms around that wildly? Do I really still have such lousy balance?); mortified (wow I am definitely aging…those darn high-def photos are soooooo unforgiving of wrinkles & cellulite & sagging & loss of elasticity); and proud (wow I look pretty good for my age, despite the things I just mentioned, and btw the dancing matters more than the aging, and also hey I guess I actually do have decent stage presence and also WOW I LOOK HAPPY OUT THERE).
I’ve also had some extremely negative thoughts, such as:
Besides, it gives me an excuse to write.
In the past week, I’ve been exhausted (daytime naps & early bedtime); wide awake at midnight (when do you think I write all this down?); elated (oooo! Pretty pictures! Pretty videos! What fun! Great dress!); disgusted (OMFG do I really flail my arms around that wildly? Do I really still have such lousy balance?); mortified (wow I am definitely aging…those darn high-def photos are soooooo unforgiving of wrinkles & cellulite & sagging & loss of elasticity); and proud (wow I look pretty good for my age, despite the things I just mentioned, and btw the dancing matters more than the aging, and also hey I guess I actually do have decent stage presence and also WOW I LOOK HAPPY OUT THERE).
I’ve also had some extremely negative thoughts, such as:
- This is a waste of money. I could be putting that cash to much better use. I’m ashamed of myself for exhibiting this degree of conspicuous consumption.
- Pro/am ballroom is just a money-making scam. All these female amateurs like me playing dress-up and pretending to be “real” dancers and all these male pros going along with it and taking their money…it’s The Emperor’s New Clothes all over again, because we all KNOW that we’re not “real” dancers and we all KNOW that our teachers are just doing their jobs, they’re not princes & we’re not princesses, who are we trying to fool with this crap?
- It’s not a waste of money. I’m definitely spending a LOT of money, but it’s not being wasted. From dance lessons and competitions, I’m learning skills that I honestly doubt I could have learned anywhere else. Patience. How to trust another person. Acceptance that good enough is sometimes good enough. Acceptance that true learning takes time. Also, I’m getting a ton of regular strenuous exercise (so I don’t have to pay for a gym membership or exercise equipment), and a significant mental health boost (so I save money on therapy costs and meds – not joking). And I’ve met some really awesome kindred spirits in the world of ballroom. These are lifetime friendships.
- It’s not a money-making scam; it’s a business.
Besides, it gives me an excuse to write.