Followers who say 'good' in lessons

[huey]

I have decided I don't like this.

A few of the more experienced followers I dance with tend to make a comment each time I dance with them in a lesson. Sometimes it's a suggestion or request or criticism. At other times, it's a compliment, like 'good'.

This annoys me, and I think when they say 'good' it annoys me more than the criticism. It seems that they see their role as commenting on me. I just sort of smile when they say good, but really I want to tell them to p**s off :evil:

 

[Pacion]

What about if they were to tell you "that was really nice" instead :wink:

 

[Laura]

Good lord, we can't win for losing. It's difficult to learn to dance, especially lead, and taking constant criticism from teachers can be disheartening to some beginners. So, a lady makes a positive comment when she like what the guy is doing, to give him some encouragement and show appreciation for his hard work, and you want to tell her to piss off? Remind me to never say anthing nice to a male dancer again!

 

[tacad]

No, no! Please keep saying nice things! It is very encouraging to me! :notworth:

 

[etchuck]

A Scooby Snack works for me. "Good leader... gooood leader." :lol: :roll: eace:

 

[huey]

... a lady makes a positive comment when she like what the guy is doing, to give him some encouragement and show appreciation for his hard work, and you want to tell her to piss off? Remind me to never say anthing nice to a male dancer again!

Er - the point about the (thankfully few) women who do this is that they almost always give a comment either 'you're doing that wrong' or 'I need more of this' or alternatively 'good' or 'well done'. I find the attitude very patronising.

I feel that, for them, the reason they dance with me in a lesson is to judge my dancing and comment on it. I also feel this when I dance with them socially - which is why I avoid these (again, FEW) people :evil:

 

[Pacion]

I feel that, for them, the reason they dance with me in a lesson is to judge my dancing and comment on it.

:roll: Huey, you really think they dance with you in a lesson for the above reason - rather than because the teacher said "rotate" :? :twisted: :lol:

And you feel the same when you dance with them socially? Rather than thinking that they are trying (albeit in the wrong way according to you) to help you be a better dancer?

Which dance(s) do you do? :wink:

 

[danceguy]

I always like when a lady whispers "thank you" in a romantic, sensual tone and gives your hand a little squeeze! :ladiesma:

"Excuse me, can we stop the lesson please...I want to dance with this beautiful woman RIGHT NOW!!!" :lol: :kissme:

Its happened to me a few times, believe it or not! :wink:

SG

 

[Pacion]

SG :evil: that was supposed to be our secret :evil:



:lol:

 

[dragon3085]

There are a lot of bad or unclear leaders out there. So its not odd that a girl gets surprised by a good lead. So take it as a compliment and to a judgement.

Pat

 

[danceguy]

Of course, mi amo... :kissme: :kissme: :kissme:

Trying to make Sabor jealous are we? :tongue: :lol:

 

[Pacion]

There are a lot of bad or unclear leaders out there. So its not odd that a girl gets surprised by a good lead. So take it as a compliment and to a judgement.

Pat

:applause:

Of course, mi amo... :kissme: :kissme: :kissme:

Trying to make Sabor jealous are we? :tongue: :lol:

:eyebrow: :raisebro: :lol:

 

[blue]

huey, I completely understand you. I have had similar comments from a few men, and it was like they were really commenting my skill from an "above" position.

It is all about how it is said, of course. I mean, you could tell me "good morning" in a way that made me feel "That person wants to see me dead"...

 

[Jmatthew]

I think "good" is patronizing also.

It's what the teacher says to you, not what your peer should say to you. Your peer can say, "I really liked that," or "that felt really nice." Basically, a partner is on firm ground giving his or her opinion (expressing how they feel about a move) but not offering right or wrong judgements. Unless you're the teacher, you should never presume to know how to do it right, or that you know whether or not your partner is doing it right.

Consider:

"You aren't supposed to move your arm in that way in this move," versus, "when you move your arm that way it really makes the move uncomfortable for me."

The first one says "I know more than you," the second says, "we need to fix something."

Likeise, "You did that just right," could be rude, while "that felt perfect" probably wouldn't be.

 

[Pacion]

Likewise, "You did that just right," could be rude, while "that felt perfect" probably wouldn't be.

How about if she said "that felt good" :wink: